Chapter 18
DULL THEIR PAIN
They pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant twenty minutes later.
A little outside of Albany. Not that he thought she’d care, but he didn’t always like to eat that close to Pulse where he was known.
“Have you been here before?” he asked.
“Nope. I don’t get out much. I probably come off boring that way.”
“I know many people who don’t go out to eat often.”
“Do you take Jonah out much? My parents didn’t take us as kids and I think that was part of it. Like when we went it was special occasions. Otherwise we had takeout.”
She didn’t talk about her family much and though he wanted to know more, he wasn’t sure what to ask.
The more he brought up with her or about her, the more she’d want to know his situation.
But he knew the time was going to come where she’d ask about Jonah’s mother. That was only natural.
And he knew she had a half-sister she met later in life, and an older brother she wasn’t close to, and a sister she was.
Guess he knew more about her than he’d thought.
“Jonah has been out a few times but more chain type places. He eats at Pulse more than anything. I guess it was a good trial for him. During the day, there are families in there in the back, so it’s easier.”
“I bet he loves it.”
“He does,” he said. They walked a few feet, he grabbed the door and held it for her, got to the hostess stand. “Easton.”
It wasn’t that busy and he probably didn’t need a reservation but didn’t want to wait either and take that chance.
“I love Italian food. I saw they make all their own pasta too.”
“Yep. Marcus does that at Pulse. You’d be surprised how much people appreciate that.”
“It’s healthier and quicker to cook too.”
“That’s right. More cost efficient on top of it.”
She smiled and tilted her head. “I didn’t think you’d know those things. Do you manage the restaurant too? I guess I just thought you did the bar.”
He had to watch himself now. Letting out too much information at once.
“The whole business. Front and back, behind the bar.”
“Wow, so I’m really lucky I’ve seen you at the bar. I bet you have to do work in an office too?”
“I try to get some of it done at home but it’s not always the case. A lot of times it’s before we open in the morning.”
“Interesting. Guess you have to have a lot more knowledge than just mixology.”
“You do,” he said, bumping his shoulder into hers.
He didn’t want to say much else and let them be led to their booth, took their seats and were handed the drink menus, then the food menus.
“Doesn’t look as if they’ve got Chicken Cock here.” He laughed. “I can still see your face when you came in. You looked ready to murder someone. With your fiery red hair, it just made me think it was the perfect drink for you.”
“I’ll be happy if I never do another shot again.”
“Some people love it. I think it’s just a quick way to get the liquor in them to give them courage or dull their pain.”
She tilted her head. “That’s about right. I guess I needed a bit of both that night.”
He frowned at her. “Courage for what? Dulling the pain, or getting rid of the annoyance of your horrible date I can understand. But why would you need courage?”
She seemed to hesitate. As if she didn’t want to answer, but finally said, “The courage to talk to you.” The way she was batting her eyelashes told him she was joking.
They placed their drink and food orders.
He didn’t want to rush the night, but he was glad she understood that he had Jonah to get home to.
Conversation flowed well with them. It always seemed to when he never had that with another woman.
“You look like the wheels are turning in your head. Want to share?” he asked.
“Just thinking. You’re so easy to talk to. I don’t normally get that from men. Or not men I’ve been around, which is work and we talk about work. But you’re so knowledgeable. Is it from listening to people at work all the time?”
He didn’t think he was bragging about how smart he was.
Never that.
But sometimes it was hard to not talk or answer when things came up and he knew the facts.
Too bad if it surprised people.
There were plenty of people out there who were bullshitters, but he wasn’t one of them. And he sure the hell never wanted to come off that way either.
Though plenty had thought it and he’d shrug it off knowing he might never see them again anyway.
“That could be part of it I’m sure. I like to read and when you read you learn a lot that way too.”
“That’s true. So I won’t tell you about the latest Jeffrey Deaver book.”
“Don’t,” he said, pointing his finger at her. “I saw it on your table. I’ll be starting it soon.”
“I noticed you looking and wondered if maybe you read him but didn’t want to ask. You’d be surprised how many people fluff their way through it or laugh. But I get the feeling you really do like to read. I can keep it to myself. We’ll have to talk about it when you read it though.”
“I do read when I can. Normally thirty minutes before I fall asleep each night. Just kind of winding down. I don’t count the books I read to Jonah.”
She laughed. “I find that very sweet. My mother read to me when I was younger, then stopped.”
“Because you could read it yourself?”
She smiled. It was almost sad though. “No. My father, he was an alcoholic. I didn’t know it when I was younger.
I think he was clean for years. But he was mean when he was drinking and when he fell off the wagon, he didn’t get back on.
My mother kind of catered toward him so he wasn’t a jerk to her. ”
“Mean, like physically?”
“No. Never that. Just his words. I seemed to get the worst of it. Matt, my brother, he was the son and played sports and they bonded. They were like bros. Matt was cool, so he was in good graces. Erika, she was popular and had a lot of friends and kind of the same thing. Then there was me. I was smart, didn’t play sports, didn’t have a lot of friends. ”
“Really?” he asked.
He wasn’t sure he could see that. “It took me a long time to come out of my shell.”
Not unheard of. “So your father was mean to you?”
“Yeah. I guess I was just never good enough. He put me down a lot. Words can hurt and they did. And my mother…well, she didn’t stand up for me and that hurt worse.
Seven years ago my father needed a kidney transplant.
He wasn’t going to get a donor and none of us could do it, and that is when he admitted he had another child out there we didn’t know about. ”
“Seriously? He hid another child but when he needed something to stay alive, he wanted to reach out to her?”
“Yeah. Ruby. Matt found her and asked her to do it and she said no. I don’t blame her in the least. And I was so hurt to know she existed and that my father wanted her and was talking about her more than even me, that I didn’t want any part of her in my life.
Neither did Erika. Could be my mother getting in our heads too.
But after a few months, after my father passed, I changed my mind and reached out. ”
“I’m not sure I could have done that. That takes some balls.”
“It does because I thought for sure she’d want no part of us.
Her husband, he’s an investigator with the State Police.
They weren’t married then, but he was in her corner and didn’t want her hurt.
I think I realized that my father’s actions hurt a lot of people and she wasn’t to blame either.
She had more reasons to not want to know about me. ”
All he heard was the name Ruby and then investigator and his wheels were turning.
“Does Ruby live around here?”
“Yes, and she sold you your house. I forgot about it until we just talked.”
He gulped. “What did she say?”
“That you’re handsome. I didn’t tell her too much, don’t worry, and she didn’t say much. She wouldn’t. Only that she showed you one house, you bought it and that was it. It was before Jonah was born.”
If he asked more questions, she might get suspicious.
And if she knew more, she’d bring it up.
He was trying to remember what Ruby even knew?
Nothing more than he wanted a nanny space. But people used the word nanny and sitter like he had interchangeably.
And with his hours and being a single father, it’d made sense.
But he’d had Carly’s space built after he’d bought the house. Ruby had no part of that unless someone from Butler Construction brought it up to her.
He’d just have to let it slide now.
He hadn’t paid cash for his house and people had money more than what their job would dictate all the time for lots of reasons.
“I remember her. She was nice. And you both have red hair.”
“We do. Neither Matt nor Erika do. I think we bonded over that. We are much closer now. But it was more like finding a friend later in life than a sister.”
“That might be even better.”
“I think so,” she said.
Their dinner came out, they ate and kept up the conversation, then left to return to her place.
They didn’t get dessert, but it was waiting back at her place.
“I need to get my cupcakes,” he said when they pulled outside her apartment building.
“Yep. I was going to remind you. I can make coffee if you want, unless you need to get home. Which I understand if you do.”
“I’ve got time for a cup and a cupcake. Carly will put Jonah to bed.”
They got out. “What time does he go to bed?”
“Eight. He thinks I’m at work.”
“What does Carly think? The same?”
“I didn’t tell her. If she had asked, I would have, but she didn’t.”
And she wouldn’t think to ask because he hadn’t dated anyone.
Though honestly, Carly would be supportive because she’d been telling him for years he needed a woman in his life.
If it came up, he’d tell her.
If he got past this date and knew there’d be another, and right now it leaned that way.
While the coffee was brewing, she pulled the cupcakes out and set them on plates.
“Are you going to eat the whole thing?” he asked her.
“I plan on it. I’ve been on a chocolate kick for a week. This is my first bite of the finished recipe.”
“Now you’re making me feel bad about the chocolate binge.”
“Don’t. It’s not your fault.”
“Isn’t it?” he asked.
“I’d say it’s both of ours, but tonight I just want chocolate. Not because I feel like I need it but because I tasted this batter and it was good. I just hope baked they are equally as good.”
“You mean you only made these six and didn’t sample one first?”
“Not baked. Talk about taking a risk, huh? They could totally taste like crap though I don’t think they will.”
When the coffee was done, she brought their cups over. “Let’s try it at the same time then.”
“I’m going to be watching your face for a reaction, so you won’t be able to hide it if they are terrible.”
He laughed and took the wrapper off, then picked it up. “I’m not sure I can get my mouth on this without leaving half of it on my face.”
“That’s the best part of eating a cupcake,” she said.
They both picked up their cupcakes and bit in. She had frosting on the side of her face and he knew he did because he felt it.
He didn’t grimace with his bite. He didn’t spit it out either.
He kept chewing, really enjoying it.
“What’s wrong? Are you choking?” He was ready to pound her on the back.
“Oh man. The cayenne just hit me. It might have been too much.”
He kept eating though. “No way. It’s just right. Just like you.”
She coughed harder. “What?” she squeaked out.
“Nothing,” he said and went back to eating, wishing maybe he hadn’t said what he had. Not if she was going to react like that.
“This feels awkward and I don’t want it to,” she said when they were done with their dessert and sipping their coffee. “Why is that? We were fine in the restaurant.”
“And we are good now. Don’t make it awkward. Though, I should probably go home soon. You’ve got to work tomorrow too.”
He stood up and pulled her into his arms, his lips to hers. His hands on her back tugging her closer against the bulge in his jeans. He didn’t want that reaction but once his mouth landed on hers, there was no controlling it.
Or the fact that she was rubbing against him, whether or not she realized it.
“I do have to work,” she said weakly when he pulled his mouth from hers.
He let her go and stepped back. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Huh?”
He smirked. “We’re starting over.”
“And that means no sex?”
“That’s exactly what it means,” he said, grabbing the remaining four cupcakes and walking toward the door.
Damn, it felt good to get that last word in this time.
“Indefinitely?” she asked.
“For the foreseeable future,” he said, then kissed her one more time with enough heat to make her think the foreseeable future was ending in five seconds. Yet he walked her to the door.