12. Cameron
CAMERON
It was early when I heard a gentle knock on my apartment door.
I checked my phone to see if I missed a call from Mark before throwing on a pair of gray sweats.
I’d slept like the dead after that embarrassing outburst at work left me exhausted, and Mark usually called first if he needed help with an emergency on the farm. But the screen was blank.
When I opened the door, there was a large bouquet of sunflowers blocking my view of the man standing behind them. “Nico?”
“I made Josie swear not to say anything to Mark, but I may have asked her if sunflowers were still your favorite,” he said, peering over the flowers.
“I didn’t tell anyone at Pine & Posy they were for you, either.
Promise. I said I needed a floral talisman in order to finish my mural, and I’m pretty sure they accepted it as a quirky artist thing. ”
I couldn’t help chuckling despite the situation. I hadn’t been able to talk about that night with anyone, especially since Mark didn’t know, and I felt a strange relief having finally released the pressure of holding it inside. Maybe now I’d finally be able to move on.
“You don’t have to let me in,” Nico said, “but I hope you accept the flowers.”
I took the bouquet from him and left the door open behind me as I carried it to the kitchen sink. I glanced over my shoulder to see him still hovering in the doorway. “Would you like something to drink?”
He stepped inside, toeing his shoes off by the door. “You’re being a lot nicer to me than I expected you to be.”
“I said what I needed to say.” I plugged the sink and filled it with water. I’d have to ask Josie for a vase later. “You asked for a fresh start, and I don’t think I would have been able to give you a real one without doing that—not that this magically fixes everything between us.”
“You deserved better than what I gave you back then,” Nico murmured. “Even if we wouldn’t have ended up working out romantically, I hate how my careless words and actions made you feel. I really am sorry.”
Nico looked like he’d slept as much as I had, his eyes red and tired.
The truth was, I did want to fix everything.
The butterflies I got every time he was around hadn’t diminished at all in the decade since we hooked up.
But I wasn’t going to be able to forget that this little escape to Sleighbell Springs was just that, a break from his real life, and that he’d be going back to Boston.
This was a fantasy we’d be living in for a few days, and maybe then I could close the chapter on this decades-long crush. Indulge for one last time.
“I accept, by the way.”
Nico’s brow furrowed. “Accept what?”
“I’ll be your fake date on Friday.”
“Really?” His eyes widened, so hopeful.
“What are you wearing? A good boyfriend would match your outfit, right?”
Nico’s lip started to quiver, and I frowned. “Wait, is that the wrong thing to say?”
“I thought you hated me.” Nico chuckled wetly. “I wasn’t even finished wooing you yet.”
“I’m not going to pretend that I’m not still hurt. And I’m one hundred percent certain everyone in this town is going to make me miserable when you leave. But unfortunately, my conscience won’t let me accept this mural without giving you something in return.”
“I still have a couple of days to make you want it for real,” Nico said, leveling me with a devastating smile before scrunching his lips in thought. “Well, for fake, but you know what I mean.”
I shook my head. All I knew was the way my body felt when he said for real and the way my stomach dropped when he immediately corrected himself. I was going to have to get ‘this is fake’ tattooed on my palm so I didn’t forget.
"I’m wearing blue,” Nico said, pulling me from my thoughts.
“C’mon then.” I dragged him to my bedroom. “You and I both know that ‘blue’ is not specific enough for an artist.”
I only had one suit to choose from, but Nico shuffled through the ties I had rolled up in a drawer, and I thanked my past self for putting them there with my socks, not my underwear. Finally, he pulled out a blue plaid tie and set it on top of the dresser.
“Thank you for doing this,” he said, still touching the tie. “I’m glad I’m not going alone.”
The quiver in his voice made me pull him into a hug against my better judgment. I knew what it was like to feel alone. His arms went around my neck immediately. Nico felt so good against me, lean and warm, and my bed whispered to me from the other side of the room.
How easy it would be to scoop him up and carry him there.
“We should get to Frosty’s,” I said eventually.
Nico squeezed himself around me closer, as if he was as reluctant to let go as I was, but we both stepped away. His eyes cut to my bed, and he cleared his throat. “Yeah, you’re right.”
We walked down the stairs of my apartment and ran straight into Mark as he was loading some tools from the garage into his pickup. He glanced between us, confused, and I shrank back to put space between Nico and me.
“He had some questions about the mural,” I said.
“I brought him some of the good coffee from the house,” Nico blurted at the same time.
Mark broke into a wide grin. “I’m so stoked you two are getting along again. This is the best week ever.”
I dropped my head and chuckled. If only he knew the half of it.
“Coffee?” Nico asked once we’d made it to Frosty’s, and I nodded.
Something had shifted for us this morning.
It helped, somehow, to learn I wasn’t the only one who had been hurting.
The stabbing pain I used to feel around Nico had softened.
Now, it was a dangerous warmth in my gut, like that first sunny day of spring after a long, cold winter. So good it should have been illegal.
As we walked over to The Brew House, Nico hooked his arm with mine.
I didn’t want to like it, but it had been so long since someone had shown me genuine affection outside the bedroom.
Glancing around quickly, I didn’t see any of the major gossip circulators out and about yet.
We separated as I held the door for him, though, and drifted apart as we entered the café.
I was grateful, and at the same time, I wished I could hold his hand without the whole town making it a big deal.
I was almost looking forward to being able to play pretend in Boston on Friday, away from prying eyes.
The Brew House was cozy, with piano covers of Christmas classics humming over the speakers.
When I rang the bell on the counter, Wes appeared from the back wearing a gray shirt and an emerald apron.
He had his brown hair styled back, and scruff lined his jaw.
He’d always been a bit of a grump, but since getting together with Jules this past spring, his edges had softened.
“Scone of the day is cherry vanilla,” Wes said as he met us at the register. “What can I get you?”
Nico ordered a triple-shot oat milk iced lavender latte, and I got my usual peppermint mocha. When Nico headed toward the door, I grabbed his elbow.
“Let’s sit and chat for a bit.”
Nico smiled and followed me to a small round table in the back corner of the café. “You’re not going to fire me, are you?”
I laughed. “No way. I’m definitely not going to be able to find a third muralist in a week.”
“Rude,” Nico said with a hmpf and a long sip of his extra-large iced latte.
He twirled the straw around, sending the ice cubes crackling. I was entranced by his long fingers and the collection of silver rings that adorned them.
“You wanted to talk?”
I met his eyes and found him looking at me with barely contained laughter. I shrugged.
“Well,” Nico said as he swirled his coffee. “Tell me about why you started Frosty’s.”
My face heated. “I’ve wanted to own an ice cream place since forever, it feels like.
I don’t know if you remember, but it’s why I went to Vermont State.
I wanted to save up my money to start my own storefront.
So, I got my business degree and an ice cream maker, and I started experimenting.
I finally had enough to get started the year my parents retired and gave the farm to Mark.
That was three years ago. The spot where Frosty’s is now became available, and I took the leap.
“The rest is history, I guess. The small dairy business is not exactly a cash cow”—I chuckled at the irony—“and the margins on a retail storefront are slim, but I love what I do. I make rainbow creamsicles for Pride and a literal river of eggnog for Christmas. And then, of course, Creamsicle Day.”
“You’re a Sleighbell Springs institution now, huh?” Nico said with a grin.
“I’m not sure about all that.” I glanced away.
It’s true that I’d wanted to make my mark on the town I’d loved all my life, but I wasn’t sure I’d achieved that yet. I still felt like I had something to prove. I wanted to be known for my eggnog, not some salacious family story.
“What’s on your mind?”
Nico’s voice drew me back to the present, with the whir of the espresso machine and the soft chatter of customers in search of their morning java. But I wasn’t ready to spill my guts to him yet.
“I was just thinking about how I don’t really know what you’ve been up to in Boston,” I said, finally. “Your favorite color, the last TV show you binged, where you go to think. I used to know those things.”
“Blue. The L Word. This city park by my house with the biggest oak tree you’ve ever seen.” He ticked off his answers on his fingers. “…I don’t really want to talk about Boston, though.”
“Why not? You were so excited to move there back in the day.”
“Yeah, well, twenty-two-year-old me didn’t know everything.
I let myself get sucked into this terrible relationship.
He cheated, and now he’s with the side-guy.
I got kicked out of the home we’d been sharing for two years.
And he’s running the gallery where my solo show is happening, which I think I mentioned already.
” Nico let out a long breath. He looked defeated.
“Boston wasn’t everything I’d pictured, and now I’m probably going to have to pick up and move again. Maybe New York?”
My throat tightened as I swallowed the disappointment of the thought of him moving farther away, but this wasn’t about what I wanted. It was about Nico. He deserved everything he dreamed of.
“I didn’t know where to go to escape it all, so I ended up here,” Nico said. “Sleighbell Springs is the closest I’ve had to a real home.”
“I’m glad you did,” I said, trying to keep the emotion from my voice. “You always have a place at the farm.”
“Thanks.” Nico sighed. “I wish I could run away from it all and move back here.”
I hated that my first glimpse behind the curtain of what I’d thought was Nico’s perfect life filled me with relief.
A flicker of hope. Maybe I wouldn’t have to kiss him on Friday and say goodbye on Saturday.
As much as I wanted to suggest he stay in the farmhouse as long as he needed to figure things out, I wouldn’t push him.
If he moved back to Sleighbell Springs, it should be because he chose it, not because he was desperate. I wanted it to be for good.
“I know someday you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for,” I murmured, reaching across the table to stroke the back of his hand with my thumb. He flipped his palm and wrapped my fingers with his.
“What about you?” He tilted his head, a lock of his dark hair falling over his forehead. “Have you found what you’re looking for?”
“Just about.” I shrugged.
“What’s missing?”
“I think you know, Nico.”
Nico peered at me from over his iced latte with so much longing, I could barely keep from leaping over the table and kissing all his worries away. If only he’d choose me, I’d give him anything he wanted.