14. CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 14
SIERRA
My phone chimes with a text message again. All day Kason’s been texting, and I haven’t been responding. I’ve looked at them though because even if I don’t want to admit it, there’s a sick part of me that likes knowing he’s still thinking of me.
What he said about me fucking one of his friends hurt, although it was wrong, I don’t believe he meant it the way it came out. His face was remorseful the moment the words left his mouth, but what wrecks me, is that he defended Leo’s actions. How could he defend a man not being in his daughter’s life? He knows I grew up without a father, so for him to be so adamant that Leo’s actions are okay, is what hurts me the most.
My uncles, Ky’s mom, Nora, and Riley came into the city today, and I tried not to allow Tony and Mark to see my despair. I don’t think they’re buying it but have chosen not to say anything. We spent the day together, and after eating out for dinner, we came back to my apartment. Ky and Riley are staying with me while Nora and my uncles are staying at a nearby hotel. Although they are getting ready to leave, my curiosity over what Kason has texted has me quickly excusing myself to the bathroom.
Once inside, I open his text, and as I expected, his apologies are morphing into anger at me for ignoring him. And because I’m a masochist, I find myself looking over his earlier texts, again, starting from this morning.
Kason:
Good morning. I hope you have a good day with your family. I’m sorry.
Kason:
I didn’t mean what I said. It came out wrong.
Kason:
I wish you would text me back or call me. I want you to know how sorry I am.
Kason:
Is this really how it’s going to be? You’re going to ignore me?
Kason:
I would never ignore your texts.
Kason:
We’re going to talk, whether you like it or not.
Kason:
I’m going crazy here. Respond!
Kason:
Answer your texts!
Yes. His messages are definitely changing in tone, but I just can’t deal with it right now. I close out my texts with a sigh, open the door to exit, and there stand my uncles in my room. They’re giving me the same look they gave me when I was in high school and they caught me sneaking back into the house after being grounded.
They know something is going on, and I’m going to have to cop to it. I drag my ass over to my bed, sit on it, and prepare for their questions. Tony sits next to me and takes my hand in his while Mark stands over us, arms folded across his chest.
Tony speaks first. “I know something is bothering you. You’ve tried to hide it, but we know you better than you know yourself. Talk to us. We’re always here for you.”
And those heartfelt words have me spewing everything that happened. I hadn’t even realized I was on the verge of tears until a couple break free. Tony hugs me to him while I cry and Mark sits on my other side, taking my free hand in his while he soothingly rubs his thumb over my knuckles. The gesture makes me cry harder because it reminds me of Kason doing the same thing when I talked to him about my mom in his kitchen. I’ve never cried over a man before.
It’s official. Kason is breaking down the barriers I’ve built around my vulnerable heart.
They let me release everything, and I explain how I’m hurt that he could defend a father not being in a child’s life, a trigger for me.
It’s only after I’ve finished that Mark asks me something I’ve not given thought to. “What exactly did Kason defend? Was it Leo leaving Riley or was it him leaving Kylie? If Kason believes what Leo told him, and obviously he does, then that’s one thing. But did he ever say the words that Leo was right to leave Riley?”
I try hard to remember, but other than Ky mentioning Riley’s name before I dragged her out of the club, there was no mention of her directly or otherwise.
Could it be that he doesn’t know and Leo never told him about Ky being pregnant?
If so, I’m sitting here crying over something that he’s not guilty of. This is going to have to take some serious thought. If he didn’t know, then I’ve been ignoring him for no reason at all .
Which makes me the asshole for assuming the worst. “I didn’t think of it that way.”
Mark smiles. “My work here is done.”
“Wow, you’re good.”
“That’s what makes me a good cop. You have to know how to read between the lines,” he says with a wink.
I can’t disagree with him on that. “Thank you for listening.”
“We’re always a phone call away,” Tony reminds me.
“But if he ever makes you cry again, regardless if you’re wrong, I’ll be coming back up here to kick his ass.” I giggle until I get a good look at his face, and I realize that Uncle Mark is serious.
“Group hug?” I offer, and they waste no time wrapping their loving arms around me. Afterward, we join the others in my kitchen and say our goodbyes until tomorrow.
After seeing them out, Riley asks, “Auntie Sierra, can we watch a movie?”
I bend down to her level and tap her nose. “Of course. What do you say we get into our pajamas, make some popcorn, and cuddle on the sofa? I bought Beauty and the Beast this week because I know it’s your favorite.”
Her eyes light up and her little arms wrap around my neck. Is there anything more precious than a happy child? No matter how bad I may be feeling, she has a way to make me feel better.
She pulls away and runs down the hallway to the room calling to Ky, “Let’s go, Mommy. We have to get our jammies on.” Ky smiles after her affectionately before laying her hand on my forearm.
“You know, maybe you should talk to Kason. I know you’re trying to hide the hurt you’re feeling, but I don’t want my baggage with Leo to ruin things for you. I’ve never seen you light up in any man’s vicinity the way you lit up in his. You told me last night that it was better you knew now than later the kind of man he is, but I can’t help thinking that if Leo had given me a chance to explain then things might have turned out differently. Just think about giving him a chance to talk.”
I know she feels bad about how last night ended, but she shouldn’t. I give her a hug, and she embraces me right back. “This is why you’re my best friend. You always have a way with words. I’ll think about it.” I don’t tell her that I’m already halfway there anyway because if Mark is right, then Leo has hidden Riley’s existence from everyone. She doesn’t need to know that.
“Now let’s get in our jammies and have a movie night.” No sooner than I suggest it, Riley's sweet voice rings out to Ky urging her to hurry up. Ky laughs and heads back to her to get her ready.
We’re about halfway through the movie, and I can’t stop thinking about what Mark said. Just as I’m thinking I need to text Kason back and find out if he knew, a knock sounds on my door, and my first thought is that it has to be him. I get up from under the cover we’re all sharing and answer the door. I may be ready to talk to him, but we can’t have this conversation in front of Riley.
Opening the door, I’m greeted with his handsome face, even if it’s angry. I assumed he would be, and I was correct.
“Why the fuck have you been ignoring me?”
This isn’t the time or place for this conversation, not with Riley’s little ears in the next room. I can talk to him tomorrow about it when he has a chance to calm down. Besides, I still don’t know what he knew.
“Just leave, Kason…” I want to tell him that we can talk later, but I notice he’s distracted and peering over my shoulder. I turn to what he is looking at and there stands Riley and Ky, but his focus is on Riley.
He walks past me and stands in front of them staring at Riley then asks, “Who is she?” I have the feeling that if he didn’t know, he’s figuring it out now.
Ever the social butterfly, Riley answers, “I’m Riley. Nice to meet you.” She holds out her hand to him.
He takes her little hand in his bigger one and says, “My name’s Kason. Nice to meet you too.” He drops her hand and glances up at Ky. “Is she yours?”
“Yes,” Ky answers with a furrowed brow, and I wonder if she’s coming to the same conclusion as me that he doesn’t know.
“Who’s Riley’s father?” he asks Ky, but it’s Riley who answers.
“My daddy’s name is Leo. He’s at work. Mommy says he will see me when he’s done.” My heart bottoms out to my stomach. This poor little girl believes her dad will come home to her one day. Didn’t I have that same hope that maybe my dad would want to be in my life?
Confusion shows on Kason’s face. He really had no idea. I know he’s going to ask some more questions, and Riley shouldn’t be around for them, so I pick her up and tell them, “I’m going to get her settled in her room. It will give you time to talk.” As I walk her to the guest bedroom, Riley waves and says, “Bye, Kason.”
“Goodnight, Riley.”
Once inside the room, I place her on the bed where she begins to jump up and down while asking, “Why do I have to go to bed? My movie isn't over yet.”
I point the controller to the television. “I have it on this TV too.”
Luckily, I bought the digital version of the movie, and I can stream it on the TV in this room, picking up right where we left off.
She stops jumping and claps her hands. “Yay!” Then she throws the covers back and gets comfy. After loading the movie, I watch Riley wistfully.
Someday I’ll have this. A little girl to love, and she’ll never know the feeling of not being wanted.
I can’t help but wish my mom had fought her sadness for me and sought the help she needed. Instead, she let the love of her life break her to the point of no return .
Once Riley is settled and into her movie, I say, “I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” I hate lying to her, but I need to know what is going on between Ky and Kason.
I walk down the hallway and peek around the corner. Kason’s holding a phone in his hand while Ky is speaking to him. “…almost five years ago, when I was pregnant with her. He told me he wanted nothing to do with her but would support her financially. That’s how much she’s worth to him. That’s how much he wanted her in his life.” He stares at the information on the phone, shaking his head in disbelief. I already know she’s showing him proof that Leo knew and paid them to go away.
I step into the room. “It’s true, Kason. I was there for it all.” They both look at me, and Ky takes that as her opportunity to leave. I imagine she said all she’s going to say on the matter.
“I don’t understand. The Leo I know would never do this. It just doesn’t make sense.” The anger he came in with is no longer present. Although I was initially worried when he came by, I’m glad he did now because I know he was blindly defending Leo.
“Is it wrong for me to be happy that you had no idea about Riley?”
“Why would that make you happy?”
“Out of everything that happened last night, it hurt to know that you could defend a man who would abandon his own flesh and blood.” I pause, then whisper, “Like my own father did to me.” Not to mention my mother.
His eyes turn sympathetic and he reaches his hand up to caress my cheek. “I would have never defended his actions if I had known. It’s still hard for me to believe. I was defending my cousin who was lower than low when he found out Kylie betrayed him.”
“She didn’t betray him.” I can’t help but voice it.
He’s thoughtful for a moment before he says, “Baby, it’s not our fight to have with each other. I don’t like what I learned tonight, and I will be having a conversation with Leo about it, but we can’t let what happened with them get between us. I know you love Kylie and Leo’s my cousin, so we may have different views about what happens from here on out, but if we’re in this together then we can’t let their baggage be ours. Don’t let it steal the happiness we have with each other.”
He’s so right.
“You’re correct. It’s not our fight. We’ll have to be mindful and respectful of each other’s viewpoints on this moving forward.”
“I can do that,” he agrees.
“And one more thing, if you ever make another remark about me fucking your friends, you better believe it’s not ending well for you.”
His eyes turn remorseful. “I’m sorry about that. I was trying to make a point, as bad as it was, and I didn’t think about how it sounded until the words came out. I would never think you would do something like that. Can you forgive me for being an unfiltered idiot?”
I already have. “I can. It helps that you’re an expert at giving me orgasms,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
He chuckles. “Can I kiss you? Because it’s killing me to be this close to you and not be able to do it.”
I know what he means. I smile for the first time in the past twenty-four hours. “You can.”
“Thank god.” He grabs my arm and tugs me to him before leaning down to kiss me. As soon as his lips touch mine, peace settles within me. I hated fighting with him and being apart from him.
Hearing the pitter-patter of feet has me breaking the kiss sooner than I want to. Riley comes around the corner, holding her hands below her chin and grinning.
“Auntie Sierra. The beast is a real prince again, and they live happily ever after. Come see,” she announces joyfully before running back to the room.
I smile at her cuteness when I hear Kason say, “She looks like Leo.”
“I know.” I don’t say anymore because as we promised, this isn’t about us.
He leans in to give me one more quick peck. “Don’t keep her waiting. We’ll talk soon.” He turns to leave, then stops and peers over his shoulder at me. “And Sierra?”
“Yes.”
“No more ignoring me. I can’t handle it when you do that.” There’s a sorrow in his voice when he says it, and I feel awful. I make a promise in this moment to not only him but to myself as well.
“No more ignoring,” I agree.
He nods then leaves and as soon as the door shuts, I’m already missing him. I had worried getting close to him would give him the power to destroy me, but the truth is being with Kason has brought me to life.