32. CHAPTER 32
CHAPTER 32
SIERRA
“What I need from you is what you can’t find in yourself to give me. That is to love me unconditionally. I need you to love me more than you hate the fact that I may have fathered a child before I met you.”
As soon as Kason said those words, they hit home for me. Those words have been swirling in my head since he left an hour ago. They’re like a bat hitting me upside the head, knocking some sense into me.
This life I’ve been living these last few days isn’t the life I want. The reason being that Kason is not in it. We need to be in this together. I've left him alone when he needed me.
Grabbing my robe, I put it on and leave my room. Kason’s cabana is a few down from mine. I knock, and when Kason opens the door, he has a towel wrapped around his waist. His hard abs are on display, but I won’t allow myself to get distracted by them.
“May I come in please?” His face shows his confusion at finding me here before he steps back and allows me to enter. Once inside, I shift on my feet and face him as he closes the door .
“What you said earlier about loving you more than I hate that Meegan may have your child. You were right.”
Kason doesn’t respond and I can’t blame him. We just made love, and I told him I love him, only to deny him after. Stepping up to him, I lay my hand on his bare chest, and a shudder runs through him while the familiar spark runs up my arm and through my body. It’s been that way since the first night we met. It never went away. I’ll always want this man.
“I was hurting, Kason. I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not still hurting from everything that has happened. I’m trying to work through it, and I promise, I’m going to do my best to accept Meegan’s son if he is yours. Because the downside of failing to do so is living a life without you, and I know that I can’t. These past days have been torture without you.”
I’ve lain my heart on the line for him and hope he forgives me for running from him when all along I should have been running to him. I pick up his hand and bring it to my lips, kissing it while he watches. “I love you. Please know that even while I was away, you were never far from my thoughts or my heart. I’m so sorry.”
He releases a breath before pulling me into his loving arms, and I cuddle into his warm chest. It’s my safe space, and where I should have been all along because within his arms, I feel peace settle through me.
“I’m sorry that this has happened. I can’t lie to you; there is a slight chance that he could be my son, but I believe he isn’t. On the chance that he is though, I need you by my side. I’m working on finding out for sure with a DNA test.”
“Is it wrong for me to hope he’s not? That woman is horrible, and I hate the thought of having her in our lives forever.”
“No. I’m hoping so too, but if he is, then I’m going to be in his life. I can’t deny my son, and with Meegan as his mother, he’s going to need a father in his life.”
If Kason isn’t his father, then I feel for that baby with her as his mom .
“Is she willing to take him for a DNA test?”
Kason snorts. “I didn’t give her a choice. I had to know.”
“What do you mean?” I pull away to gaze up at him, and he smirks.
“I went to her hotel room and swiped Jason’s pacifier. I sent it off to a lab to be tested. We should know any day now.”
He did what?
“Oh my god. Does she know you did that?”
“No, I don’t think so. If she does, she hasn’t called me on it. I have a feeling she would have delayed a test, so I took matters into my own hands.”
“What will you do if you find out she lied about it?”
“Confront her with the truth and get her out of our lives once and for all.”
If that bitch made this up to get Kason back and hurt us, I want to confront her too. If anyone deserves my anger, it’s her.
“Can I be there if we find out she lied?”
He nods then leads me to his bed by my hand. He crawls into it, and I follow, laying my head on his chest and running my hand over his delicious abdominal muscles. I’m content in this moment with him, but there’s something else I’m curious about.
“What did Simon want when he called that night you left my apartment?”
“Way to ruin the moment.” He chuckles lightly before telling me that his father is trying to extort him into giving him money from when he assaulted him. He may be believed because he did the same thing to his old agent.
“Do you really think Alex would go against you for him?”
“If he knows what’s good for him, he won’t,” Kason huffs.
“I’m sorry Simon is doing this. I understand why you were so angry now.” Kason tilts my chin up with his fingers and his lips thin. I can see he wants to say something that is on his mind. “Whatever it is, please just say it.”
“I could have handled Simon’s threats better if I didn’t feel like I was losing you along with our baby. ”
Guilt and shame sink into me. “I wish I could have handled that better. You were right to call me on it. I shut down, and it wasn’t fair to you. We both lost our child, and I should have relied on you instead of trying to numb myself from it.”
“I wanted to be there for you. I hope you know I tried.” He gives me a half smile.
“I know you did, but in the end, it was you who finally made me feel the loss.” I lean down and kiss his lips before resting my head on his chest again. He combs through my hair with his fingers.
“I didn’t wear a condom with you tonight.” His voice is hesitant, and it hasn’t escaped my mind that he didn’t, but he shouldn’t be concerned.
“When I went to the doctor’s this week, she gave me a new packet of pills to start. We’re safe.” I don’t know when I’ll be ready to try again. The cut is still so fresh, but I know I still want to try when the time is right.
Feeling him nod against my head, I know he heard me, but right now, I just want to fall asleep in his arms and be with him without all our other thoughts and worries banging on our door. We’ll focus on them later.
And for the first time in days, I sleep.
We’re sitting in the car that picked us up from the airport. After reconnecting, we spent a couple of wonderful days together on the beach before we left today. I’m feeling happier than I’ve been in weeks, and it’s all due to my handsome man.
Kason’s phone rings, and he pulls it out of his pocket to answer. “Hello.” The person on the other end says something before Kason replies, “Yes, this is him. ”
Within moments, a big grin spreads across Kason’s face. “Have you sent the report to the email I provided?” He listens for a couple of seconds then responds, “Great. Thank you.” He hangs up and lowers the divider between us and the driver. “Please take us to Knight’s Hotel.”
He puts the divider back up and turns toward me. His smile is radiant, and his eyes sparkle before leaning into me and kissing my mouth.
“What’s going on?” I murmur against his lips before he pulls back and fiddles with his phone, smile still in place, before handing it to me. Quickly scanning an email, I gasp when I get to the most important information it holds. There is a zero percent probability of Kason being Jason’s father. “Oh my god,” I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand.
He turns my face with his hand. “Baby, it’s over. I knew it, I just knew it. Meegan can take her lies and shove them up her ass. We’re going there now. This ends tonight.”
Throwing my leg over Kason’s lap, I hug him to me. This is the best news, and I can’t wait to confront her with it. “She’ll be out of our lives for good.”
“And one asshole to go.”
I know he’s talking about Simon, and I need to know how he plans to rid him from his life. “What are you going to do about him?”
“I’ll be meeting with him soon. I have a plan in place.” He tells me what he’s going to do, and I’ve never been so thankful that he has an amazing family surrounding him.
The car stops, and we pull up outside of the hotel. Kason is out the door and pulling me through the lobby before I have time to blink. My man is on a mission.
Stepping off the elevator, he knocks on the door. A stunned Meegan answers wearing a robe, and when she clocks Kason, a huge grin brightens her face. However, when she sees me, it falls as she frowns at our linked hands.
“I need to speak with you. Now,” Kason insists .
Meegan’s eyes go to his face. “Sure, but she”—she makes a disgusted face and lifts her chin in my direction—“can wait in the hall.”
“Not happening,” he informs her as he ushers us through the open door. I snicker at his brashness.
He looks around the room before turning us toward Meegan. She folds her arms across her chest, anger is radiating off of her. “What is the meaning of this visit? It’s late, and our son is sleeping in the next room.”
I feel Kason’s hand tighten around mine. “He’s not my son,” he growls at her.
“Of course he is. I already told you that he’s not Alex’s son, so that just leaves you.” She’s either one hell of an actress or completely delusional and believes the shit she’s spewing.
Kason moves toward Meegan, anger radiating off him. “Cut the bullshit. We both know I’m not your baby’s father. Do you want to know how I know?” He doesn’t give her time to answer. “I know because I took his pacifier last time I was here and had it tested. I. Am. Not. The. Father.”
Meegan steps back and gasps. “You are. You have to be,” she sobs before reaching for him. He steps away from her, a look of disgust on his face. “Don’t you see, Kason. This is our chance to finally be together. We can finally be a family.”
That’s it. I’ve had enough of her theatrics.
I step in front of Kason and let her have it. She deserves my wrath for her part in the hurt she caused. I keep my voice low, but don’t hide the venom in my words. “Listen, bitch. Stop with the bullshit and lies. He doesn’t want you. Hasn’t wanted you for over five years. Move the fuck on. He has.”
She sobs louder. “He does. I know he does, that’s why he slept with me again. He’d be with me now if not for you. You’re clouding his judgment.”
“Enough, Meegan,” Kason chimes in, voice full of contempt. “You have less than three weeks left here. After that, you’re gone and not just out of this hotel. You’re gone out of my life. You so much as send me a fucking happy face emoji, I’ll not only slap a restraining order on you but a harassment charge with it. We. Are. Done.”
He grabs my hand in his and drags me out the door. I can’t help peeking over my shoulder at her. She stands there stunned. The first time she started shit I blew her a kiss as I left. This time, I pop her my middle finger, and her eyes bug out. I hope she finally gets it and stays out of our lives for good. Kason wastes no time getting us out of here.
Once we’re in the car, I can’t help asking a question. I need the answer to the part of this messed up situation we haven’t spoken about yet. “Why did you do it?”
His face turns to mine, forehead crinkled. “Do what?”
“Why did you sleep with her? I believed you hadn’t been with her for five years. Had you been sleeping with her that whole time?”
He exhales loudly before taking my hands in his, his thumbs rubbing over the backs of mine. “It was one time and impulsive payback for what they had put me through. I know it doesn’t make me look good.”
No, it doesn’t.
“Why did you choose to do it so long after you had left her?”
Kason explains how she repeatedly came onto him for years, and he never took her up on it. His contract was ending with Alex, and he drunkenly, and with regret, chose to take Meegan up on what she was offering because Alex was stopping over the next morning.
“I’m not proud of it, but at the time I didn’t care. Alex’s smugness and thinking he had me under his thumb angered me over the years, so I saw an opportunity and took it. Now, I wish more than ever that I hadn’t gone there, especially because it hurt you.”
I see the sincerity in his eyes, and I believe him that if given the chance for a do over, knowing what he knows now, things would have gone down differently.
Leaning in, he kisses me. “I’m sorry my actions caused you any pain. ”
“It’s in the past. Those actions no longer hold any power over us.”
“I love you so fucking much. Thank you for coming back to me,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Always, but I’ll never leave again because we are sticking this time.”
And we will. I believe wholeheartedly that this time, we will get it right.