34. CHAPTER 34
CHAPTER 34
SIERRA
“Have you given any thought to what you want to do after graduation?”
I’m on Bluetooth with Brook in my car on the way home from work. The plan is to meet Kason here and pack up more of my stuff. We are officially moving in together, and I’ll be putting my apartment on the market. We’ve slowly been bringing more stuff to his house throughout the week.
“Margo is helping me with college applications, but I don’t know what I want to study. She said if I go to college here that I’m welcome to stay with her.”
I have no doubt she did. Margo has turned into a mother figure for Brook, and they’ve bonded. They were both struggling through challenges and through those challenges they connected in a way I never expected. I’m happy they have each other.
Turning off my car, I bring my cell up to my ear. “You have your whole life ahead of you. You don’t need to make a decision now about what your major will be. You have time. ”
“If I stay in the city, I would like to volunteer at the center and give back. Because of you and everyone else, my life is better than what I could have ever expected.”
I stop and smile, putting my hand over my heart. “I’m so proud of you, and the center would be lucky to have you.” We speak a little more before I inform her I’m at the elevators. “I have to go before I lose the connection.”
“Okay. Talk to you soon.”
“Bye, Brook.” I hang up and enter the lift, smiling on the inside as well as on the outside the whole way to my apartment door.
I unlock it, and no sooner do I enter, my elbow is grabbed and I’m shoved roughly against the back of the door. I try to scream out, but a hand slaps roughly over my mouth.
Trevor, Brook’s mom’s boyfriend, is snarling in front of me. I’d recognize him anywhere. I barely have time to recognize my bewilderment at seeing him as I thought he was still in jail awaiting his trial.
“Where the fuck is Brook?” he yells. There’s that same violence in his glare that I remember clearly from when he attacked me before.
His hand leaves my mouth only to backhand me a second later. I scream, but he covers my mouth once again. I feel pain then taste the copper from the blood on my lips and know that he split it open.
“Don’t you play with me. I’m not going to allow you or that little bitch to send me back to jail, even if it means I have to wipe you both out of existance.”
My heart, that I thought had stopped working, is now beating frantically within my chest. I’m scared, and I believe him. This man is psychotic enough to fulfill his threat.
“I’m going to remove my hand, and you best not make a noise because I’ll have no problem strangling you to death where you stand.” He slowly removes his hand, and I stay quiet, not having a clue how to get myself out of this situation. “Talk bitch. Where is Brook? ”
I’m too scared to utter a word, but I know I won’t be telling him where to find Brook anyway.
Grabbing my forearms, he slams me against the door, and I feel my head crack against it before he slams me to the ground where I hit my head again, harder than the first time. Pain radiates through my skull, and my vision starts to blur. I curl into a fetal position when Trevor raises his leg to kick me, but it never comes. I hear a loud anguished roar that has my fearful eyes popping wide open, and I see Kason tackling Trevor to the ground where he lands with a hard thud.
Trevor tries to swing at Kason, but he blocks it before smashing his fist into Trevor’s face. I hear the bones crack as Trevor screams out in agony.
“You want to fight someone, fight me, you asshole.” Picking him up by his hair, Kason knees him in the gut, which has Trevor doubling over and holding his stomach.
My vision is getting worse, but I make out Kason spinning Trevor around then booting him hard in the ass, sending him flying into the wall and bouncing his head off of it with the force. He falls to his back on the floor spread eagle and doesn’t move.
Pain radiates through my head, and I try to call out to Kason, but I’m not sure he heard me until he spins around and rushes to me. Kneeling down beside me, he brushes the hair away from my face. I don’t miss the look of horror that washes over him.
“Kason,” I whisper and try to reach up to him, but my arm is so heavy that it slumps back down to my side.
“I’m here, baby.” I feel him place my hand on his chest.
Then my world goes black.
My head hurts. I lift my arm up to rub at the back of it, but it doesn’t move because a warm palm surrounds it. Opening my eyes, I’m blinded by light and quickly clench my lids shut. The hand holding mine tightens.
“I’m here baby. Just relax. You’re going to be okay.” Kason? “Yes. It’s me.” I hadn’t realized I’d spoken it out loud. “I’ll get the doctor and let him know you’ve woken up.”
His rough voice has me blinking my eyes until they are used to the light in the room. I focus on the chiseled face above mine. Even looking tired, with disheveled hair and an expression filled with concern, he’s still the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“You’re so handsome,” I can’t help telling him because the man truly is.
He smirks. “My gorgeous girl is back.”
Back from where?
I scan the room. “Why am I in the hospital?”
His lips tighten, as if he doesn’t or can’t say the words to explain why. “What do you remember?” I think hard before panic sets in when memories flash back in technicolor of what happened.
“Oh my god. Trevor was in my apartment. He slammed me into the door.” I use my other hand to feel the back of my head. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to recognize the feeling of a big bump there. “He-he hurt me.” I feel tears roll down my cheeks.
“Fuck this shit.” I hear Kason’s harsh words before he climbs into my bed and cradles me into his hard body. “You’re safe. I promise he won’t be hurting you again.”
My fingers clench his T-shirt. “I was so scared.”
“So was I.” The emotion in his voice is thick with worry. “I beat his ass. I’m not sure if he’s in this hospital. The only reason I haven’t tried to track him down and finish the job is that I didn’t want you waking up alone. ”
I don’t want him getting in trouble, if he isn’t already. I have no idea what shape Trevor is in, but I’ve seen Kason’s fury protecting the ones he loves and can imagine how bad it might be. “Don’t you leave me, Kason.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures me and kisses my head.
The door opens and an older woman I recognize as a doctor comes in. She’s the same one who treated me when I had the miscarriage. Dr. Smith, if I remember correctly.
“We meet again, Miss Lawson.” She smiles, and I wish I had a reason to smile back. She was very caring throughout my last stay here. She gazes over at Kason holding me in my bed. I have a feeling we’re breaking the rules, but if we are, she’s being kind and overlooking it. “How is your head?” she inquires.
“It hurts a little,” I admit. She asks me more questions, and I reply with what I remember. Trevor hitting my head and the backhand. When I voice it, Kason stiffens beside me, and I feel the growl he emits in the vibrations of his chest.
She explains that outside the contusion on my cheek and the split lip, I also have a concussion. “There’s also one more item I want to speak with you about. Do I have your permission to speak freely?” She looks at Kason after she asks this.
There’s nothing she can’t mention in front of him. “You may.”
“Seeing as you weren’t conscious when you were brought in, we had to run some preliminary tests for treating you. We took some blood and found that your HCG levels were elevated, so we can only give you Tylenol to treat the pain.”
I look at her in confusion. I don’t understand what she’s trying to tell me. Kason asks before I’m given a chance to. “What are HCG levels?”
She smiles softly at us. “It’s a hormone. Although the reason for it being high is not unusual.” She places a hand on my shoulder. “Have you experienced a period since your miscarriage? ”
I have a feeling I know where she’s going with this, and I brace myself for her words before looking at Kason. Oh god. He has no idea what is coming judging by the confusion on his face waiting for the doctor to continue.
I face the doctor again. “No. I haven’t.”
“As I said, your HCG levels are elevated. HCG is the hormone that supports growing embryos. You’re pregnant, my dear. Very early pregnant but pregnant. Women can ovulate as soon as two weeks after a miscarriage.”
Kason’s arms tighten around me. I knew she would say it, but I can’t stop the gasp that escapes my lips. Kason and I had sex the week I started my pills and that was three weeks after our loss, but I thought we were already protected. The news of this pregnancy frightens me.
God wouldn’t be cruel enough to take another pregnancy away from us.
“What are the chances of miscarrying again so soon after the last?”
The doctor’s smile is kind. “The same as any other pregnancy. Have hope. There’s no reason to believe this one will end like the other. I would recommend setting up an appointment with your obstetrician.”
“Thank you. I will.”
The doctor goes over everything else but I barely listen as I’m lost in the thoughts of being pregnant again. They will keep me a little longer for observation, and if everything is clear, I will be discharged. It doesn’t escape my notice that Kason is mute through the entire conversation. Nor does it escape my notice that his face shows no emotion.
“Will you have someone to care for you when you leave?”
Kason chooses this moment to speak. “She’ll be coming home with me.”
I don’t argue with him because in his home and his bed is where I want to be.
The doctor leaves shortly after, and I cuddle back into Kason’s side. I want to ask him what he’s thinking, but I don’t. I need some time to take in the information myself.
Do I dare to dream this dream is real?
The first thing I notice when my lids flutter open is Kason’s scent around me. Sure enough, when I scan my surroundings, I’m in his room and in his bed, but Kason is not with me. I gingerly turn to my other side and find him. He’s sitting in a chair by the fireplace with his eyes in my direction, but his thoughts are far away.
“How long have I been asleep?”
His gaze focuses on me for a moment before looking at his Rolex. “About four hours.”
As soon as we came back to his place, he settled me in his room and he lay beside me cuddling me to him. We haven’t spoken about the pregnancy and now that the initial shock has worn off, I need to know how he’s feeling. I learned my lesson from the miscarriage. We are in this together, and he needs to know that how he feels is important to me.
“Kason, please come here to me.” I hold out my hand to him and he slowly rises from the chair. Pulling the covers back, I indicate for him to join me. He does. I lay my head on his chest and rub my hand over his abdominal muscles. He runs his fingers through my hair. “Talk to me. I need to know how you’re feeling about this pregnancy.”
I hear his hard swallow, and his fingers stop combing my hair. I give him time to get his thoughts together; I’ll wait as long as it takes. After a few moments, he admits, “I don’t want to lose you again. You pulled away after you lost the baby, and although you were there, you weren’t. If that…” he pauses, “…if that happens again, I don’t want you shutting yourself off.”
Admitting one’s faults is never easy, but if you can’t acknowledge them, then you can’t grow. I lean up on my elbow and place the hand that had been on his stomach onto his cheek and nudge his face in my direction. I need his attention on me.
“I’m truly sorry I pulled away. I own it. I was in my own head, and I wanted to be numb to the hurt, I didn’t want to talk about it, much less acknowledge it. I wasn’t fair to you, and you were right, I didn’t lose a baby, we did. You couldn’t have done a better job of being there for me, but I could have done a much better job of being there for you.” Leaning down, I place a gentle kiss to his lips. I have to be careful to use the side that isn’t currently split open. “I want to be excited about this baby, but I’m not going to lie, I’m frightened. I need to tell you that because I need to be honest about how I feel and not be afraid of my emotions. I’m going to need you to be there like you were before. I may not have said it or shown it, but you being there was so important to me.”
At my admission, I see the first signs of life filter into his face since we received the pregnancy news. This time it’s he who rises to connect our lips before settling back down.
“I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear those words. I want to be happy about this news too, but those weeks weren’t easy. Our team lost the playoffs, I came home to find you in the hospital, then learned we lost our baby. You pushed me away, my father tried to swindle money out of me, then Meegan pulled her stunt, and you left. I feel like I’ve aged ten years in two months. The hits kept coming and wouldn’t stop.”
Lying back down, I run my fingers over his stomach once more. “It never occurred to me that we could fall pregnant so soon. I thought we were protected. I hope you believe me.”
He kisses me on the top of my head. “I do. I don’t think you would have risked a second pregnancy so soon.”
I certainly would not have, but it’s here now.
Kason yawns, and it occurs to me the man hasn’t slept in twenty-four hours. I don’t ask any more questions, and his breathing evens out letting me know he has fallen asleep.
I feel like I’ve been sleeping for days, however, it doesn’t stop my lids from closing and falling into slumber with him.
It’s been a week of non-stop visitors. Even my uncles came and stayed a few nights with us. Uncle Mark, of course, made sure to stop by the precinct and make his presence known. He let them know he would be watching Trevor’s case closely, and if there’s any slip up, he’ll be back. As it stands now, his bail has been revoked, and he will be in a jail cell until the trial. His family had bailed him out the last time, but they’ll have no chance to do it again.
Margo and Brook have been by. Brook felt responsible for what happened, but I assured her it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have known.
Charles has been by too. We had a nice meeting. I was honest with my feelings. I don’t know what the future may bring, but I’m willing to try at some sort of relationship with him. What that looks like, I don’t know; only time will tell. He said both his sons know. Isaac would like to meet me, but he will wait till I’m ready. Brax is still coming to terms, and I have the feeling there’s more to the story with Brax than what I’ve been told.
We’ve been to the obstetrician, and they have assured us there’s nothing to indicate this pregnancy will end in another miscarriage. I’m a little over a month pregnant, and in another month, I will have an ultrasound to check the progress. We aren’t telling anyone as of now and will decide together when the time is right. For now, this pregnancy is for us only.
Kason has been attentive and loving, and we are sure to talk out our feelings each day. My only issue there is he treats me like glass. Outside of some tender kisses here and there he hasn’t taken it further and explains he doesn’t want to hurt me. My lip has healed, and my bruised cheek has faded. I could just drop to my knees when he comes through the door. He never turns down a chance to have my mouth on his cock. I giggle at where my thoughts take me when it’s regarding Kason. He had to step out for a team meeting and has texted to let me know he should be home in about two hours.
I’m flipping through television channels when the buzzer to the gate goes off. I stand and open the door and recognize the blond-haired man standing on the other side of the gate.
Brax.
I hit the button to unlock it, and he strolls through. His face is as stoic as always, but if anything, it puzzles me now. I have the feeling so much goes on in his head that he doesn’t verbalize often, if at all.
When he stops in front of me, he asks, “May I come in and speak with you for a bit?”
Those may be the most words he’s ever spoken to me. I nod and step back, allowing him to enter, then lead him into the living room where he sits on one sofa. I sit on the other. His elbows land on his knees, and he’s looking down as he rubs his hands together. I get the feeling this is hard for him, so I open up the conversation.
“I understand this isn’t easy, but I appreciate you stopping by.”
He looks up at me and gives a slight nod. “I intended to stop by sooner, but...” He trails off with a shrug.
“I understand, and I know I could have visited you as well. I wasn’t sure what you knew or how you felt about it.”
“To be honest, I’m still not sure how to feel about it. I lost one sister and just found out I have another.” His grimace when he mentioned losing his sister does not go unnoticed.
“I’m sorry for your loss. ”
“No one more than me,” he mumbles under his breath. I don’t think he meant for me to hear that.
“If you’re agreeable, I would like to get to know you and Isaac. There’s been so much tragedy with our parents, but it doesn’t have to trickle down to us.”
He tilts his head to the side and studies me. I have no idea what he’s thinking. Kason said that’s what makes him a great agent. He can’t be read and goes after what he wants. He doesn’t allow how others may feel about deals to affect him, but I would bet my last dollar, there’s more to this man then he lets the world see.
“You’re right. Recently”—he looks up to the ceiling, as if trying to find the words—“well, I’ve realized that losing Briana doesn’t mean I have to avoid a relationship with another sister.”
Sister. The word makes me smile. I’m someone’s sister.
“I’d love if we could work on relationship.” He nods as if in agreement. It’s a start to get to know him, my brother.
He stands abruptly and goes to the door but looks back before leaving. He gives me an unexpected half smile. “I’ll be in touch.”
Then he’s gone. As awkward as it was, I resolve to get to know more about him. I get the gut feeling that coming to me was a huge step for him.
Who knows? Maybe, just maybe, I might even be able to figure this closed off man out.