Chapter Ten
“Don’t you dare lie to me.”
It was humid in the evening air, but I was shaking. I put my fingers on my temples, the ring feeling like it was a hundred pounds on my finger. “Harrison, I need you to trust me when I tell you nothing happened.”
He threw his hands up, pacing around the crowded parking lot. “Oh yeah, because I have so many reasons to believe you.” His words were dripping with sarcasm. “I propose to you, and you look at another man. Do you understand how that feels?”
I had never been so embarrassed in my life.
After I had waited a second too long to respond and made the mistake of looking at Colton, Harrison cleared his throat and said, “Allegra?” in a sharp and low voice.
My left ear was ringing, my hands dripping with sweat; if I weren’t sitting down, I would’ve collapsed. “Um…”
He raised an eyebrow, and I could feel everyone in the restaurant’s eyes on me.
I wanted to slap myself.
This was Harrison! This was the man I knew I was going to marry. This was the man I had planned out the rest of my life with. This was the dream.
I was going to get the promotion. I was going to marry Harrison. That was the plan.
It was going to be okay if he had proposed a few months earlier than I had planned.
Plastering the happiest grin I could muster on my shocked red face, I held out my hand. “Oh, yes!”
Harrison picked up my hand and shoved the ring on my finger, a little forcefully. I rose to my feet, and he did too, both of us playing the part of the happy engaged couple.
He kissed me tightly, and I kissed him back.
The restaurant was clapping, the piano was playing a happy song, and everyone had seen it all.
Harrison asked for the check a few minutes after that, neither of us eating another bite. As we got up to leave, I waved at the Nash family, purposefully ignoring Colton’s gaze.
Dennis and Jo “ooed and ahhed” about the ring and how happy they were for us. They were quieter than they had been all night.
The second we made it out the door, Harrison dropped my hand and wandered a few steps farther from me.
“Harrison, please, just listen,” I begged, feeling my entire life starting to slip from my grasp.
He held up a hand, looking terrifying under the street lamp. “I asked you to marry me, and you looked at that cowboy. That arrogant hick.”
I swallowed hard.
“I watched him stare at you all night,” he almost growled. “I watched his family obsess over you and saw him practically salivate over you, and you look at him when I propose to you.”
I needed him to know nothing happened; it was eating me up inside.
“Harrison, I swear on my life that nothing is going on between us. I just know their family from the job, and when you proposed, I was surprised! I wasn’t expecting it for a few more months, so I looked at them because I was surprised, and they were friendly faces! I swear that’s all it was!”
Was that all it was? I had no idea, but it was not the time to sort it out.
“Don’t lie to me!” He was yelling, the vein in his neck sticking out. “You’ve been distracted all night! You’re on a grunt assignment and letting yourself be charmed by the rodeo lowlifes. I am your life! You need to focus.”
“A grunt assignment?” I said, crossing my arms. Yes, I was in the wrong for looking at another man when he proposed, but now he was just pushing my buttons. “What happened to ‘the most important assignment of my career?”
He rushed toward me, his finger right in my face. “You think running around rodeos getting friendly with the rednecks is going to change your life? No. Apex is just getting you out of the way for a bit while they find Craig Sterling’s real replacement.”
I was mad, so mad. This was exactly what he did when he was angry.
He pushed others beneath him so he could feel better about himself.
That’s why he was good at his job, why he had climbed the corporate ladder so quickly.
I took a breath and peeled the heavy ring off my finger.
“I don’t want to accept your proposal like this. ”
He snarled. “You’re breaking up with me?”
I shook my head and placed the ring gently in his hand. “No. I want a break. I want to accept your proposal. I am going to Utah next week for the next rodeo. If you want to propose again, you’ll fly out there, do it in a nice, quiet place, and I will happily accept. All right?”
He was squeezing the ring tightly. “Allegra, stop being childish.” His eyes were flashing anger behind his spotless glasses.
The restaurant door opened and closed, letting the Nash family out.
Perfect. If they didn’t get enough in the restaurant, they’d get to see us finish our fight out here.
“I’ll send you my flight schedule and itinerary. I hope to see you next week, Harrison,” I said honestly.
“That’s not funny.” His finger was still in my face, and he was leaning in close.
My heart faltered, but I knew he would never hurt me, so I stood my ground. “No, it’s not funny. I don’t want to get engaged like this.”
“So this is what you’re deciding? You’re in charge now?” He poked me in the shoulder.
“Woah, hey, is there a problem?” A thick accent asked, stepping between us.
I stared at the back of Colton’s head as he separated my soon-to-be fiancé and me. He was breathing hard, his fists balled tightly.
“Yes, and here you are.” Harrison pushed him out of the way and looked right at me. “I’ll see you next week with a better attitude.” He looked between us again, as if he was desperately trying to read our minds. Finally, he threw up his hands and walked away, toward his rental car.
The door slammed as Colton turned to face me. His face was red, and he was still breathing hard.
His family was waiting by a pair of red trucks, watching the scene unfold.
“Are you alright?” He asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.
I had no idea. The supposed love of my life had degraded and yelled at me right after asking me to spend the rest of my life with him.
I was angry, filled with guilt, and wanted to crawl into a hole with humiliation.
I nodded and blinked hard, pretending I wasn’t crying.
“I would like to apologize for unintentionally involving you and your family in this. Especially you. He had no right to put his hands on you.”
Corporate Allegra, detached Allegra.
He tilted his head, his green eyes filled with exhaustion. “Ally, please, you have nothing to be sorry for. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I was so tired. I couldn’t even acknowledge the feeling of cold water down my spine that accompanied the “Ally” name. “I’m alright. Thank you. And it’s Allegra, by the way. Tell your family I’m sorry. I’ll see you all in Utah. Travel safe.”
I turned and walked off, even though I didn’t have a car.
Even though I wanted to throw my arms around him.
Even though I missed my dad so much, I wanted to die.
Even though I loved the way he called me “Ally,” and wanted to beg him to say it over and over again.
~~~
I slammed the bathroom door hard behind me. I didn’t care if I woke my neighbors. I needed to release some anger.
I didn’t even recognize the woman in the mirror.
What had I done?
I knew exactly what my life was going to look like. Why had I looked at Colton? Why had I fought back when Harrison argued? What had I done?
It was late, but I needed help. I pulled out my phone and clicked the top contact.
“Allegra? Are you okay?” Martha picked up on the second ring.
I pressed my back against the cold tile wall and slowly slid to the floor, not caring that I was sitting on a hotel bathroom floor. “Martha,” I cried.
“Oh, baby. Tell me what’s going on.”
And I did. For the next twenty minutes, she didn’t say a word. She let me get every bit out of my system, listening to me blubber through my snot and tears.
Finally, I took a shaky breath. “Martha, what if I lost Harrison?”
“Then he doesn’t deserve you,” she said sharply.
I had a feeling Martha didn’t love Harrison. After we got serious, I wanted him to meet Martha. She was the most important person in my life, and I had just spent the weekend with his parents in The Hamptons
We went to dinner, and Harrison did what he did best: talked about himself. He talked about his company, the apartment he had just bought, a vintage car he owned, and on and on. Martha kept shooting me looks and drank more than her fair share.
She was nice enough to ask about him every so often at the office or if I had spent the weekend with him, but it always came with a hint of suspicion.
“Listen to me, honey. You could’ve broken up with him on the spot, but you made a very mature decision to take a break, gather your thoughts, and try again next week. If he’s smart, he will take this week to think about how much he loves you and what he needs to do to earn you back.”
I wiped my eyes and nodded, even though she couldn’t see me.
“Are you okay?”
I took a breath, my sinuses swollen from crying. “Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry, Martha, I just wasn’t sure who I could talk to.”
“Are you kidding? You can always call me! I can fly out and meet you in Utah if you need some backup. Jeff will tell you, I’ve got a mean left hook if Harrison acts up again.”
No matter what mood I was in, I could always count on Martha to make me laugh. “That’s okay.”
“You’ll call me as soon as you talk to him, though?”
“Of course.”
“Good girl. Text me when you take off and land, all right? We miss you around the office!”
I clutched my heart at her motherly affection. “I will. Thank you.”
“I don’t know what you’re thanking me for. I just got to talk to my bestie!”
“I’ll let you get back to Jeff, goodnight, Martha.”
“Goodnight, sweetie.”
I pressed the phone against my chest. For some reason, I had a strong urge to call my mother. We were going to Texas in a few weeks. Maybe she would want to see me, even if it was just to talk finances. I wanted another picture of my dad, and I knew she had a big box of them.
Hope began to fill my body. I could do this. I could take this week to focus on myself and what I needed. I could reconnect with my mother. I could do my job and get the promotion.
I was the only thing standing in my way.