CHAPTER FIVE
KATE
What are you doing? I ask myself after putting on lip gloss. I stare at my reflection before I grab a piece of toilet paper and wipe it off. This isn’t a dinner date. It doesn’t matter that I get this weird flutter whenever Wynn is near. It’s wrong. Right?
He’s doing me a favor, and I can’t get a crush on him.
Also, I still don’t know how he’s wrapped up with my father.
That should be at the forefront of my mind, but I can’t fathom him being on the wrong side of this.
I have to be missing something. I thought he’d mention more about knowing my father, but he hasn’t.
Then again, he might be waiting for me to bring up the subject.
I want to open up to him, and honestly, it would be nice to say the words that have been trapped in my throat for so long.
If I had spoken them when I was little, could I have saved my mother?
She always wanted to keep everything hush-hush.
In that way, I never felt super close to her.
At least not in the same way I’ve seen others with their parents.
When I step out of the bedroom, the smell of garlic and tomatoes hits me. My mouth waters, and my stomach growls, reminding me it's been a while since I last ate.
"Can I help?" I ask.
Wynn turns from the stove, giving me a soft smile.
He's changed into a pair of gray sweats and a plain black shirt. I like this laid-back version of Wynn. He’s fairly reserved from what I’ve learned so far, but what the hell do I know?
We've only talked about a handful of things so far, most of which included the weather. That’s not exactly in-depth conversation.
"You don't have to," he says, smiling at me.
"I'd like to."
"I'm making pasta. I was thinking about having a salad too."
"Great, I can handle chopping," I say, then go to the fridge and grab some vegetables.
The snow is really coming down now, and Wynn has a fire burning. There’s more wood stacked on the hearth, and the place feels cozy.
"My knives are very sharp," he warns me before getting one.
"I bet you're good with knives," I joke as he holds out the handle for me and I take it.
"I did my clinicals in emergency medicine and stayed there for a bit before moving to a private care physician. I try to use the scalpel as little as possible, but sometimes it's unavoidable.”
"So you don't do surgery?" I don’t know how that all works. Wynn should know my father wasn’t rushing anyone to the hospital.
"Not typically. Like I said, it's only during an emergency, but there have been a few times." He shakes his head, and I can tell he's thinking about those times.
"Gosh, I bet that's hard."
"Surgery? Yeah, and it’s a lot more training."
"I meant working in an ER. I bet you carry a lot of what ifs. It has to be a taxing job emotionally when you have to make decisions so quickly.”
I can’t imagine that kind of pressure. I’ll debate about lip gloss for five minutes. Having someone’s life in my hands is not something I’d be okay with. I’d never be able to make a quick decision.
"I think we all have our own what ifs, no matter the job," he says.
"But some more than most." As soon as I say the words, he turns to face me, and his eyes lock with mine.
"Yeah, I have a lot. In my past and now with the women at Farrow Haven. All I can do is hope they open up to me and tell me how to help."
Emotions well up in my chest, and I nod again, scared to speak, knowing my voice will crack. I go back to cutting the veggies to distract myself, and after that, we fall into easy chatter.
We talk about how he came to work at Farrow Haven, and he tells me that he boxes for exercise with Maverick, who is married to Juliet. It’s nice listening to him speak, especially when it’s about his parents. I can hear in his voice how much he loved them.
"You really think we'll lose power?" I ask before taking a bite of the pasta he prepared for us.
The sun has set, but the moon is giving off enough light against the snow that it’s bright outside. It’s getting thicker by the second, and I can't recall us ever getting this much snow before.
"Probably. The house is nice, but it's still older. I have a generator, but I need to get a real one."
"A real one?"
"My generator is mobile and will last for a while, but the duration of power outages is unpredictable. It’s advisable to delay turning it on.
The newer ones can be built in and connected to your home.
When the power goes down, they come on by themselves, and they only need a little oil to keep them going. "
Why do I think it might be fun if we lost power? My silly girl thoughts imagine us both having to share the living room for heat.
"What happens if the power does go out?"
"We’ll see how long the heat can hold up, but we might end up in front of the fire." As if on cue, the lights overhead flicker. He must take my surprised reaction as panic because he leans close and puts his hand on my back. “Are you okay?"
His hand rubs up and down, and I feel my muscles relax under his touch. I didn't know that I was so tense before, but clearly he notices everything.
"The dark can be scary when I’m somewhere new," I admit. I hadn't thought fully ahead about being without electricity. My mind went straight to food and warmth.
"I'll light candles,” Wynn offers, and I nod. Candles can still be spooky, but I keep that thought to myself.
"I prefer when you say it, instead of nodding."
"Oh, sorry. I’m not trying to be rude."
"You're not at all, and you don’t have to apologize. I like hearing you speak." His soft smile makes my insides warm.
"My father would not agree." I snort a laugh, and the hand on my back pauses. I didn't really think about what I was saying before the words came out. I try to play it off and pretend it’s not a big deal. "I was only teasing."
"But were you?" Wynn’s eyes are sharp as they see right through my usual facade.
Well, shit. "I suppose not. I guess it’s nice to hear you say that since I've been stuck with only my father for the past few months."
"Don’t worry. You're not going to have to deal with him." The edge of anger in his tone should probably scare me. Especially coming from a man that is so much bigger than my own father. Somehow there’s only comfort in Wynn’s words. "Finish eating, Kate."
I pick up my fork, not minding the order. Not when it's coming from Wynn. It's different, and I'm not sure why. All of his actions have been to protect me, so I can only hope that I’m putting my trust in the right man.