11. Lili
LILI
Iwoke up, pulling the spicy scent of Cole into my lungs. I smiled, then my eyes flew open.
I remembered my nightmare, Cole holding me as I’d fallen asleep once more.
The bed was empty, except for me.
Had I imagined it?
There was a deep indent in the pillow beside me, and I smiled. No. He’d stayed. He’d held me.
I think he liked me a little bit.
Sitting up, I pushed my hair back. I could smell bacon, and my stomach rumbled.
Quickly, I headed for the bathroom to do my business and brush my teeth. I studied my face in the mirror. The swelling was almost gone, and I didn’t see any bruising. Thank God. I pulled on some pink sleep shorts under the T-shirt I’d stolen. I brushed my hair but left it loose.
When I reached the living room, I found Cole in the kitchen, cooking. Well, scowling at the frypan.
He also wasn’t wearing a shirt.
My mouth went dry.
He was all muscle. Hard ropes of it. I moved closer, my gaze running over him, and I saw several scars on his back—a few round and puckered, some long, jagged slashes. My stomach clenched.
I hadn’t made a sound, but his head whipped around.
My gaze greedily roamed his chest. There were hard pecs, more scars, that wolf tattoo, and a six-pack.
“Morning,” he said.
I jerked my gaze up, fighting the blush in my cheeks at being caught ogling him, and trying to control the tingle between my legs. “Good morning.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Fine.” I tucked my hair back behind my ear.
“How’s your face?”
“Fine. No bruising.”
He grunted. “I’m making breakfast.” He sounded grumpy around it.
“It smells great.”
He jerked his chin. “It’s nice outside. Thought we’d eat on the back deck.” He eyed my bare legs. “Grab the blanket though, so you don’t get cold.”
A few minutes later, I found myself snuggled under the blanket at Cole’s table on his patio.
We had a lovely view of the trees and golf course.
Unfortunately, he’d put a shirt on, but it was a black compression shirt that outlined his large biceps and chest, and I could see the ridges of his abdomen through it.
I bit into some bacon, watching as Cole poured me a coffee.
“You didn’t have to cook me breakfast.”
“Wanted to.”
“I’m sorry I disturbed you last night.”
“You don’t ever have to apologize for nightmares, Lili.”
I sipped my coffee. “I bet you don’t have nightmares.”
He looked right at me. “You’d be wrong.”
I fought back a shiver. “You’re just doing so much for me—”
“Not going to stop.” He set his own coffee mug down, his face turning hard. My stomach turned over. Whatever he had to tell me, I knew I wouldn’t like it. “Lili, Nash got word that Kamensky is looking for you. So is Goodyear.”
Fear slithered through me. My cheeks tingled, and I knew the color was draining out of my face.
Cole reached out and grabbed my hand. “They aren’t getting anywhere near you. They’ll have to go through me first.”
My fingers convulsed on his. “I don’t want you to get hurt, Cole.”
“I’m tough to hurt.”
Bronco had probably thought that, too. “I don’t think Chadwick Goodyear follows the rules.”
“He doesn’t, but I don’t, either.”
There was a thread of something in his voice. “You really don’t like Goodyear.”
Cole looked away, staring across the golf course. “No. I don’t.”
I wanted him to share, to confide in me, but I didn’t push.
“Until I know you aren’t in danger, you’re with me, or one of the guys.”
I nodded. I had no desire to end up handcuffed in a room, waiting for Anton to take me.
“I got a group coming out to Darkwolf Tactical today for a training session. You’ll have to come with me.”
“Okay.”
“It’ll be boring as hell for you.”
I smiled. “I’ll be fine. I’ll bring my laptop and do some work.”
“I have an office in the warehouse.” He paused. “Uh, be warned, it’s a mess. I don’t spend much time in there.”
“Cole, you’re doing so much for me.” I touched his arm. “You don’t have to worry about me spending a few hours keeping myself busy.”
He nodded.
He bit into his bagel, and a dollop of cream cheese smudged the corner of his mouth. Without thinking, I leaned over.
“You have some—” I swiped my finger over it.
I suddenly realized a few things all at once. Cole froze, going as still as a statue. His facial hair was rough, but his lips were soft. Heat unfurled inside me, brighter and hotter than anything I’d ever felt.
Stormy-blue-colored eyes met mine. His gaze locked on me, and suddenly, I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t breathe.
My finger was still pressed to the side of his mouth. Then he shifted his head and licked my finger.
The heat inside me flared white-hot and I gasped. I ran my finger across his lips.
He sucked it into his mouth.
I’d kissed a few guys, and had sex with my first boyfriend.
It hadn’t been anything like what I’d read in my romance novels or seen online.
I just assumed real life was always more awkward and disappointing than fantasy.
That had always been my experience with everything else, so why should sex be any different?
I’d never orgasmed with my boyfriend. I did okay on my own, but even that was often mildly unsatisfying.
I was more turned on from having my finger in Cole’s mouth than anything my boyfriend had ever done to me.
“Cole…” Even I could hear the need vibrating in my voice.
For so long, life had been happening to me and out of my control.
Now, I felt like I was finally breaking free. I could make my own decisions. I could choose what I wanted.
I knew exactly what I wanted.
I launched myself out of my chair and at Cole.
One muscular arm wrapped around me and my chest pressed against his. Then I slammed my mouth to his.
For one second, he was frozen, unmoving. Embarrassment shot into my chest. Oh, no.
Then his mouth opened and took mine.
Oh, yes.
I darted my tongue inside his mouth and the taste of him hit me. He made a low sound that I felt between my legs and my hands slid into his hair, clenched. His kiss was rough, strong, and hungry. I was sprawled against him, wrapped up in his hardness, his strength, his heat.
Pressed against him, his mouth taking mine, I felt invincible. Like nothing could ever hurt me.
One big hand slid down my body and palmed my ass. He urged me closer, and I straddled him, my knees either side of his hips. I lost myself in the devouring kiss. A needy sound escaped me, and he growled.
I’d never been kissed like this.
I never knew kisses like this existed.
Then, he tore his mouth from mine.
We sat there, frozen, and I wanted to cry. I wanted to keep kissing. I wanted more. I wanted to know if the promise of Cole Black was everything I imagined it would be.
Gently, he lifted me like I weighed nothing—I had curves so I knew I weighed a healthy amount—and set me back in my own chair. The blanket I’d been using had fallen to the patio stones, and I now felt chilled.
Funny, just moments ago, I’d been burning up.
“That shouldn’t have happened.” His voice was gruff.
The hurt those words caused was like a knife to my heart.
“I’m too old for you.”
Now, I rolled my eyes.
He made a disgruntled sound. “That eye roll just proves it.”
“You don’t feel too old to me. You, this…feels right.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Lili, I am not a good guy.”
I made a disgruntled sound. “Because you were a mercenary and an assassin?”
“I’m not a damn hero, Lili. I’ve killed more people than you can imagine.”
“Cole, I’ve seen plenty of not-good guys. Up close and personal, my entire life.” I threw out a hand. “You are not one of them.”
A muscle worked in his jaw.
“And you’ve been nothing but a hero to me.”
Now he muttered a curse. “You’re too sweet, and I’m not.”
I looked away. “I was raised by a boxing coach, and spent a lot of my time around illegal fight rings, that doesn’t equal sweet.”
He gripped my chin and made me look at him. “It’s not that, it’s you. You’re kind, funny, hard working. You deserve so much more.”
“Well, I want you. I want to know what being with you feels like.”
A look crossed his face. “Are you…a virgin?”
“Not exactly.”
“It’s a yes or no question.”
“I had a boyfriend, at the end of high school.” I lifted a shoulder. “Sex was…not that great. I didn’t like it much.” I leaned closer. “I think with you, I’d like it.”
That muscle ticked again. Then he shoved to his feet, the chair scraping on the patio floor. “I’ve got to get to my training facility. I’m going to shower and change, then we’ll go.”
And like that, he was gone.
I rested an elbow on the table and propped my chin on my hand. Then I sighed.
Okay, so I didn’t have much experience, and I could be kinda awkward, but I was pretty sure Cole was telling me he really wasn’t interested in me.
He’d seemed interested in the middle of that kiss.
I ignored that hopeful little voice in my head. I didn’t want to make things harder for Cole, not while he was going out of his way to help me.
I cleared our plates and quickly stacked the dishwasher. I needed to change into some clothes as well. I glanced at the bedroom. Cole was probably still in the bathroom. I’d sneak in, grab a change of clothes, and get dressed in the powder room.
As I neared Cole’s bedroom, I heard the shower running. Good. I’d grab some of my new clothes as quickly as I could. I slipped into the room.
I’d taken two steps when I realized the bathroom door was half open. I stilled, not sure what to do. He lived alone and probably never closed the bathroom door.
Then I saw him reflected in the steamy mirror. My chest hitched and I stared. Oh, boy. I couldn’t look away.
Cole was naked under the water.
But he wasn’t just showering.
He had one big palm pressed to the tiles, which made the muscles in his arm flex. Hot water fell over all that slick bronze skin with touches of black ink. As I watched, he bent his dark head. His other hand was wrapped around his cock, pumping hard.
I drank him in. The muscled, wet abs, and his cock. It was thick, uncut, and very hard.
Get out of there, Lili.
I ignored the voice in my head and kept watching. Each rough stroke, the way he groaned, the way his muscles flexed and tensed.