Lukas
DECEMBER
“Hey, this is Magnolia. Sorry I missed your call. Leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
“I’m still working with a therapist, and she’s having me deep dive into how I was before the military.
Kind of making me realize some things, like it wasn’t the military necessarily that made it hard for me to communicate.
I don’t think I was ever good at it, to be honest. You always had to work harder than normal to get me to talk when I was upset about something.
She pointed out that I’ve always been one to shut down, to go silent when shit gets hard, and that isn’t right.
It wasn’t right of me, Mags, to make you work so hard to reach me.
So, I wanted to say I’m sorry. I don’t know if a simple sorry is enough, but if you could give me a chance, if you wanted to call back, I’d like to tell you more.
More of why I needed to work on myself.” I laugh awkwardly, the silence on the other line deafening.
“More of why you were right about so many things. I’ll bet you never thought I’d say those words, hey? But I’m trying to grow, and part of my growth is admitting I fucked up. I’m ashamed of some of the things I said to you, Mags, and if there is any way I can undo the hurt, I’ll do it, I swear.”