Chapter Four Zoey #2
He let out a sigh as he closed the door, and stood facing it for just a second, his shoulders squaring like he was preparing himself for battle.
I didn’t realize we were in a war.
When he turned to me, I felt like I was looking at a stranger. On the surface, he was still Ford, but his eyes were dead. A chill ran down my spine before he even started to speak in a cold voice.
“I was hoping I’d have a little more time to do this, you know. I tried to act like everything was fine at the hospital today, but you saw right through it didn’t you?”
The lack of expression on his face was eerie. It was like every bit of his personality had been wiped clean.
“I don’t understand,” I said, unable to resist taking a step toward him. I felt like if I could just touch him, connect in some physical way, I could break through the walls that suddenly seemed to be up between us.
But he moved out of my reach, shifting to the side since the door was right behind him. I felt like I was being punched in the gut as he walked to the other side of the room, giving me a wide berth.
He stopped in front of his coffee table, picking up a glass of whiskey that he must’ve been working on when I arrived.
I watched him swallow the last bit of it, my stomach in knots.
Silence was thick in the room, but I didn’t dare break it.
I didn’t understand the tension between us, but it felt like a rubber band about to snap.
“I made a decision today, Zoey. I wasn’t sure how to tell you, but you’ve forced my hand.” He set the empty glass down with a thunk that seemed as loud as a gunshot. “I can’t keep doing this.”
I wanted so badly to believe that he was saying he couldn’t keep dating me in secret, that he was as fed up with it as I was, but I was never the type to cling to foolish hope.
“What are you saying?” I needed to hear the words straight from him.
He turned to the window and looked out at the street as if it was more worthy of his attention than me, his hands shoved into his pockets.
“I had a wakeup call today. Dr. Serrano saw us leaving the greenroom together at the gala. He suspects that we’re dating, and when he confronted me today, I realized that we can’t keep doing this. We can’t let this thing between us jeopardize everything.”
This thing?
That was what he called our six-month relationship? I loved this man, and he was referring to the time we spent together like it was nothing. He was throwing us away so easily.
The ache in my chest felt like it should’ve made speaking impossible, but I managed to choke out a weak response.
“No… you don’t have to…” Tears swam in my eyes, and I was glad that he wasn’t looking directly at me. I was sure my devastation showed on my face. I swallowed hard and continued in a slightly stronger voice, “Being with me doesn’t have to affect your job.”
He sighed, like he was annoyed by the way I was practically pleading with him not to do this. It was another dagger to the chest.
“Have you forgotten why we haven’t told anyone about us? We knew it wouldn’t be good for either of our careers.”
His career. We both knew that he was the one that made that decision, and it was to protect his own ambitions.
I wanted to argue more, wanted to remind him that if he got the promotion, he’d no longer be in the same department as me, and our dating shouldn’t be a problem.
But there was something about this that felt wrong to me, and not just because he was crushing my heart under his heel.
Being with me was a risk to his promotion all along, and I had a hard time accepting that he was ending things now just because the chief of medicine found out.
It felt like there had to be something more to this.
“Is it Delilah?” I asked, swiping the tears from my cheeks just before he turned to look at me. “Are you really doing this because you want to be with her again?”
Everyone else thought that he wanted to get back together with her. It felt like I was the only person in the hospital that didn’t think it was true, and that was because I trusted him. Looking at his indifferent face, I had to wonder if I was a complete fool for that.
“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer.”
It wasn’t a denial. I would never forget that.
“I guess there’s nothing else to say, then.”
Two positive pregnancy tests flashed in my mind, and I knew what I said wasn’t true at all. There was plenty more to talk about, but not tonight. I couldn’t.
I needed to get the hell out of here before I had a complete breakdown and begged him not to do this.
Ford had broken my heart, but I was determined to hold onto my pride with both hands.
Turning away from him, I walked back to the front door.
With every step, I silently wished that he’d stop me.
If he’d just take it all back and explain why he did this before I left, I knew I’d forgive him.
We could work through whatever made him choose to end us and come out stronger on the other side.
But he didn’t say a word.
And I didn’t look back. Even as I got into my car and drove away, I didn’t check to see if he was still at the living room window.
I couldn’t believe what had just happened.
After months of accepting a secret relationship and hoping for more one day, this was what I got.
He didn’t even try to work things out or come up with a solution.
And I still couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t completely honest with me.
Whether that was because of Delilah or something else, I figured it didn’t really matter.
It was over. Done.
As I drove off into the night, swiping tears from my cheeks, I promised myself to never settle for less ever again.