Chapter Seven Zoey
I’m sorry to miss the winery, but I’m not feeling well. See you at dinner!
I tried not to feel guilty as I sent the text to Leanne.
Sure, I was missing one of the first events planned for this week-long celebration, but I figured it was smarter to skip it.
The women in both families and the wedding party were supposed to go to a winery located on the island to help Leanne choose one to serve at the wedding on Saturday.
If I went, someone was bound to notice that I was the only woman not sampling the alcohol, and I couldn’t think of a reason I could give them without admitting I was pregnant.
So, I decided to enjoy my first full day on the island by doing morning yoga on the beach in front of my bungalow and lounging on the deck in the shade while reading a fantasy book I’d been meaning to check out for a while but never found the time.
The morning passed in peace, despite the barrage of texts I received from Ford.
How do you feel today?
It’s hot out. Make sure you stay hydrated.
You looked beautiful last night.
Have you eaten today?
Most of them were questions and advice related to the pregnancy. A few of them were compliments or apologies.
I was surprised he sent so many messages. Ryan and the rest of the guys were supposed to be out on a fun boat excursion today. I would have thought he’d be too distracted to blow up my phone.
I responded to a few of the questions but largely ignored the rest.
He needed to understand that what we had before was over. We were going to be parents, but that didn’t mean we were getting back together.
I understood that he was sorry, that he wanted me back, but it felt like it was too late for all that. As much as I missed him and had been devastated since he broke up with me, I couldn’t help thinking we might’ve been doomed from the beginning.
What kind of relationship could last when it started out as a secret?
As the afternoon turned to evening, I headed inside to start getting ready for dinner.
Everyone was supposed to meet at a seafood restaurant inside the resort, and I figured it would be okay to go if I told everyone that I was feeling better.
They’d probably all just assume that I was hungover this morning.
That thought made me chuckle as I stood at the bathroom mirror, putting on a little makeup. I told myself I wasn’t making myself look good for anyone other than myself, but I couldn’t help thinking that Ford would like the red sundress I was wearing. He’d always liked that color on me.
That thought brought to mind the memory of the first time we slept together. I’d been wearing red lingerie that night, and his eyes had burned with desire when he stripped me down, running his hands over my curves reverently. Then, his tongue.
When he sank inside of me that first time, I felt something more than physical pleasure. It was like coming home.
The shrill ringing of my phone cut through the memory, and I was glad for the distraction until I saw the name on the screen.
Dad.
My thumb hovered over the red button that would reject the call, but I looked around the nice, big bathroom I was standing in and let out a sigh.
He upgraded my accommodations. The least I could do was take his call.
“Hello?” I said, putting the call on speakerphone so that my hands were free and I could braid my long brown hair.
“Zoey.” It was amazing how just one word from him—my name, no less—could convey displeasure. “My assistant said that you haven’t responded to the invitation to next month’s gala.”
Yeah, Dad. I’m doing great. Thanks for asking.
“I forgot about it,” I said. “You remember that I’m on the island, right? For Ryan’s wedding?”
He let out an impatient sound that made my chest pinch the way it always did when I was a kid and deemed to be wasting his time.
“The invitation was sent five days ago, long before you went to Sirona Isle. The organizers need to know who will be attending, Zoey. I expect you to be more considerate.”
That’s rich, coming from you.
I held back a sigh, knowing it would just make him angry. “I’ll have to check my work schedule and see if I’m available.”
Wrapping a rubber band around the end of my braid, I picked up the phone and headed into the bedroom. Sitting on the end of my bed, I started to pull on sandals while my dad talked.
“You’re still at that hospital?”
He said hospital in the same tone that I expected one would use when talking about shit on the bottom of their shoe. Disgusted.
“Yes, Dad. You know I work at Lakeview.”
He sniffed. “I suppose that I continue to hope you’ll come to your senses and leave that job. A woman of your status shouldn’t run around in scrubs and deal with sick people.”
“I help people,” I said tiredly. We’d had this conversation so many times before, but it never changed. He didn’t approve of my life choices.
“If you want to help people, you could sit on a charity board or something. Lots of high society women do that kind of thing to keep themselves busy.”
I knew what he was talking about. The wives of his rich friends often joined charity boards, but it wasn’t really about helping anyone.
It was a way of pretending to have a purpose when really, they were just interested in social status.
This gala he wanted me to attend was probably being hosted by one of those women.
Half the time, events like that cost more money to throw than they raised for the cause.
“I’ve told you. I don’t have any interest in living off my trust fund,” I said.
“Fine, fine. Don’t take my money. But you could find yourself a man of worth to take care of you instead of running around that hospital.”
When he said man of worth, he meant wealthy. Because that was all that really mattered to the man.
It was really no wonder my mother left when I was only three years old. She’d been married to my dad for a decade at that point, and I doubt she ever received real love from the man.
I placed my hand on my stomach and thought about the baby growing there.
Still, no matter how unhappy my mother was with him, I couldn’t understand how she left her three children behind.
“Dad, I need to go to dinner,” I said, standing from the bed. “I promise that I’ll respond to the gala invitation soon, okay?”
He gave a long-suffering sigh, as if my unwillingness to drop everything to deal with an invitation to a party a month from now was the greatest inconvenience of his life.
“I suppose that will do.”
“Great. I’ll see you Saturday, okay?”
“Yes. I’ll be there.”
He hung up without a goodbye, and I shook my head as I tucked my phone into my purse. I really shouldn’t have answered that call.
When I arrived at the restaurant, there were several tables pushed together to form a long one for our group. Between the wedding party and family members we had about fifteen people, and I knew that number would only grow over the rest of the week.
There weren’t too many people there yet, so I grabbed an empty seat beside Jess.
Her husband Cody was on her other side, and my cousin Kirsten was sitting across from me.
The waitress was already taking drink orders, so I requested a virgin margarita.
I’d realized over the past week that citrus helped neutralize the metallic taste in my mouth, so I hoped the lime juice in the margarita would do the trick tonight.
I picked up my menu when the empty chair to my right was pulled out. I didn’t even think of trying to snag a spot between two people that were already here, and I regretted that decision as I turned to see Ford lowering himself into the chair.
I couldn’t stop the frown from appearing on my face. He was being quite ridiculous. When we were dating, he wouldn’t have sought out a seat beside me in a social setting like this, so it made no sense for him to do it now.
Seemingly unbothered by my unhappy expression, Ford grabbed one of the pitchers of ice water in the center of the table and poured some into my glass, then his own.
“Need to stay hydrated,” he said, picking up his own glass and taking a sip. He looked pointedly at mine, and I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, I got your text about that,” I said.
But he wasn’t wrong, so I took a sip of my drink as well.
“How was your day?” he asked while flipping open his own menu.
“It was fine. I really love the beach, but I haven’t been to one since my last vacation. I went to the Florida Keys.”
“How long ago was that?”
I thought for a minute. “It was a celebration after graduating nursing school, so five years ago, I guess.”
“That’s quite a while.”
I shrugged. “I’ve been focused on my career. But Ryan having his wedding here gave me the perfect excuse to take some time off. Who knows? Maybe I’ll have my own wedding in some exotic location someday.”
“Beaches are overdone,” Kirsten chimed in from the other side of the table. “You should do something unique. I once heard about a couple that got married in a cave in Virginia. Pretty rock formations and stalactites and all that.”
I tilted my head to the side. “A cave? That’s interesting.”
Ford shook his head. “Caves freak me out. I went on a field trip to Missouri as a kid, and I was the only kid that wouldn’t go into the cavern. I was too scared it would cave in.”
“I guess she’ll just have to leave you off the guest list,” Kirsten said with a smirk.
Something dark flashed over Ford’s face, and I didn’t want to think too much about why he would be upset by that.
The conversation moved on until Jess and Kirsten were debating if it would be better to get married while skydiving or scuba diving. Both seemed silly to me, but I figured that was the point.
The waitress arrived with my drink, and I thanked her with a smile. She took Ford’s drink order before moving on to others that had recently arrived, and I lifted the glass to my lips. I’d just licked salt off the rim when I felt a prickle of awareness run over my skin.
Ford was watching me intently.
“That’s not alcohol, is it?”
I shot him a dirty look. “Seriously, Ford? You think I’m drinking alcohol?”
He cringed. “No, not really. It’s just… you might’ve forgotten.”
I glanced around to make sure that no one was paying attention to us. Everyone seemed to be wrapped up in their own conversations. Still, I lowered my voice.
“Trust me, I haven’t. I know that you’re still wrapping your head around all this, but I’ve known about it for a week.”
“A week?” His voice was faint. “You mean…”
I nodded. “Yeah. I found out that day.”
Ford’s spine curved as his chin dropped and he let out a long breath. “Fuck. Just when I think I understand how big of a screw-up I am…”
I knew that he didn’t deserve my sympathy, but I couldn’t help feeling it anyway.
“It’s a mocktail,” I said, lifting my drink to my lips again. “I am a nurse, you know. I have a pretty good idea what I can and can’t consume.”
His eyes shifted to the menu in front of him, and I could see that he was holding something back. He bit his bottom lip and fidgeted in his seat.
“What is it?” I asked, more amused than I wanted to admit.
“Don’t get mad. I just… I don’t know if you’re aware of how much mercury is in the king mackerel. When I saw it on the menu, I just wanted to make sure you knew not to order it.”
I pointed to my own menu. “I was going to get the grilled mahi-mahi.”
He nodded. “Good choice.”
I couldn’t help chuckling. “Are you going to be a pain in the ass for the next eight months?”
His eyes lit up. “Probably. Speaking of timelines, did the OB do an ultrasound?”
“Yes. The measurements show that I’m six weeks along.”
His smile was soft, and I felt it chip away at some of the ice around my heart.
“And how do you feel, Angel?”
“Ford,” I hissed. I glanced around again to make sure no one was listening, and it didn’t seem like they were, but I still leaned in closer to him. “You can’t call me that.”
It was bad enough that his nickname for me made my stomach flip every time I heard it. If someone else heard him use it, we’d be the talk of the week. I didn’t want to steal attention from Ryan and Leanne.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “But how are you feeling?”
“Not bad. No morning sickness, thank God. I’ve been tired and there’s a nasty metallic taste in my mouth most of the time.”
Ford’s eyebrows popped up as I sipped my drink. “Ah. Dysgeusia. That’s why you went for the margarita.”
Sometimes, it was disconcerting how well Ford understood me. It’d always been like this, since the beginning of our relationship. We just clicked.
But I didn’t want to think about that.
Straightening in my chair, I noticed Jess looking my way out of the corner of my eye. When I turned toward her, her eyes were focused on her menu, so I figured I might have imagined it.
Ford didn’t mention the pregnancy again during dinner, but he refilled my water glass twice. No one else seemed to notice, but each time, I felt a warmth spread inside of me.
It was nice to be taken care of.
But when dinner ended and he offered to walk me back to my bungalow, I told him no in my firmest voice. One attentive dinner didn’t change things between us. It didn’t erase the hurt I felt when he hid me from the world or when he broke my heart. I couldn’t forget it.
That was what I told myself, but during my lonely walk back to the bungalow, I wished he was with me. All I wanted was to stay angry with him, to act like I didn’t want him back until it became true. But if I were honest with myself, I missed him more than ever.