Chapter Twelve Ford
“If I ever get married, my bachelor party will be epic,” Jake said, sipping his beer.
We were sitting in armchairs by the windows in the resort lounge, along with Ryan, Damien, and Gordon.
There were a couple of other guys here that I didn’t know, friends of Ryan’s that had arrived today so that they could join the bachelor party and enjoy Sirona Isle for a bit before the wedding on Saturday, but they were mostly on the dance floor or at the bar.
The lounge was a low-key setting for Ryan’s bachelor party, and I liked it. It fit my more laid-back personality well.
Jake was a different story.
“You, get married?” Damien snorted. “I don’t see that ever happening.”
Jake grinned. “Stranger things have happened, my friend. But you’re probably right.” He tipped back his beer bottle again, polishing it off. “No matter. I don’t need a reason for a wild night. And on that note…”
He got up and sauntered over to the bar, approaching a group of women with the confidence of a true Casanova.
Ryan shook his head. “You know, I kind of thought he’d start to settle down by now. But he’s been a playboy for so long that I’m starting to think he’ll never get serious with someone.”
“Some men don’t have it in them to commit to one woman,” Gordon said.
“Like you?” I asked curiously.
Jake liked to sleep around, and everyone knew that, but Gordon had quite the wandering eye himself. He was more subtle about it, but I’d seen him trying to charm several women over the past few days, even a few in the wedding party.
I suspected that was why Damien didn’t seem to like Gordon much. He’d been flirting with Kelsie at dinner our second night here.
“Oh, I could easily commit, but only to the right woman. Too bad that she won’t have me.” Gordon’s easygoing nature fell away for just a moment, and I could see something brutal in his eyes. There was a story there, but I had a feeling he wasn’t going to share it with us.
Fair enough. We barely knew the guy. Even Ryan and Jake, his cousins, didn’t seem close to him.
But Gordon’s words made me think of Zoey.
Would she have me back?
I pulled out my phone to see that she’d responded to the message I sent ten minutes ago. The bachelorette party was also going on tonight, with the women all gathered at one of the resort’s indoor pools, and I’d sent a text to her asking how it was going.
I was needy as hell these days, but I didn’t care one bit.
I ignored the conversation happening around me as I opened our message thread and read what she sent.
The party is wild. Probably would be more fun if I could drink.
I smiled. Not because of the content of the message but because she’d been more responsive today. She hadn’t just replied to my messages. She’d reached out to me a couple of times.
It felt like such a big step in the right direction that I couldn’t help smiling as I looked at the phone in my hand. The alcohol I’d consumed tonight might’ve had something to do with that as well.
A couple shots of tequila did a lot to lower a man’s inhibitions.
And sperm count. But that didn’t matter because Zoey was already pregnant.
Laughter slipped out of my mouth at that thought, and Damien looked at me with his head tilted to the side, probably wondering what was going on in my head.
I just looked down at my phone again as it vibrated in my hand. My pulse jumped when I saw it was another message from Zoey.
Leaving the party a bit early. Too tired to be fun.
She followed that with a sad face emoji, and I wanted to tell her that she was wrong. She was always fun. Even when we were just watching TV together or playing chess.
But she was especially fun when we were naked.
At that thought, my dick grew thick and heavy.
God, Zoey was amazing in bed. Responsive and bold and eager in a way that made me crazy for her.
I stood before I even thought about what I was doing. My head swam for just a second, and I had the vague thought that maybe that last tequila shot had been a mistake. I was definitely drunk.
But I couldn’t be too far gone since I knew it, right?
“Where are you going?” Ryan asked, and I realized I was already walking away from the party without an explanation.
I turned back to him and mumbled something about needing to make a work call, which was obviously bullshit because what kind of call would I need to make to the hospital at night when I wasn’t even in the city?
But I didn’t stick around for them to ask questions. Zoey said she was leaving the bachelorette party, and if I hurried, maybe I could walk her to her bungalow.
The pool Leanne rented out wasn’t far, and I didn’t even have to ride in the elevator or take the stairs. Which was good because I felt a little unsteady on my feet.
I was at the end of the hallway when Zoey stepped out through a glass door. She was wearing her black bikini again, a pair of shorts over the bottoms this time. My cock hardened even more, and I couldn’t help thinking about when I pulled her into the greenroom at the gala.
She’d been pissed at me that night for dancing with Delilah, but she’d also wanted me. I’d been able to get us past that argument with sex.
If only I could get us past our stupid breakup the same way.
No. Zoey deserved better than I gave her before.
With that thought locked into my admittedly cloudy brain, I hurried after her down the hallway.
“Zo,” I said when I was right behind her. She was about to push open a door to exit the building, and she whirled around to face me. The movement made her breasts sway and I couldn’t hold back my groan. “You look so hot, Angel.”
I hated how her eyes darted around to make sure no one was around to hear me say that.
I’d conditioned that response by being a complete dumbass over the last six months.
I was the one who was always looking around when we were together in public, making sure that no one was watching and getting the wrong idea.
No, it was the right idea. Because being with Zoey could never be anything but right.
“Are you okay?” she asked with a slight frown. “You look…”
“Drunk?”
A giggle slipped out of her mouth, and the sound made me feel warm all over. “I was going to say confused, but maybe that’s just how drunk looks on you.”
“I like how you look on me.”
Okay, that wasn’t my smoothest pickup line, but it earned me another giggle, so I didn’t regret it.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at Ryan’s party?”
“I want to walk you to your bungalow.”
A part of me thought she’d say no. She’d been trying to keep the walls up between us all week, and I wasn’t sure if I’d managed to earn this privilege yet.
But to my relief, she jerked her head toward the door and said, “Well, let’s go then. It turns out that growing a baby is exhausting and I want to go put on my most comfortable pajamas and pass out.”
“It’ll get better,” I said, pushing open the door and holding it for her. The fresh ocean air rushed into my lungs, and I felt my head clear just a little as we started to walk. “After the first trimester.”
“Let’s hope so. I need my energy in the ER.”
“You love your job.”
It wasn’t a question. I knew it.
She’d told me once that her job gave her a sense of purpose she’d always craved. I loved that about her. Hell, I loved so many things about her.
“Yeah. But some things are even more important.”
Her tone wasn’t biting, as it had been just a couple of days ago when this topic came up, but her meaning hit hard anyway. She would have chosen me over her job. I should’ve known that.
God, I fucked up.
“Listen, Zoey…” Now was probably not the best time to tell her about my conversation with Dr. Serrano, even though the fresh air made thinking a little easier, but I didn’t care. I needed to tell her everything. “When I ended things between us, it wasn’t-”
My phone vibrated in my pocket then, and I pulled it out without thinking. It was a stupid thing to do, because the only person I wanted to talk to was standing right next to me. Maybe I was still more drunk than I realized.
Especially since I opened the phone without paying attention to who had just messaged me. Delilah’s naked body filled my screen and shock made my steps falter.
What the fuck?
“Wow.” Zoey’s voice was so cold that goosebumps spread up my arms despite the warmth of this tropical island air.
“No, Angel,” I said, quickly shoving the phone back into my pocket and cursing myself for looking at it in the first place. “That’s not… She’s never sent me a picture like that before. I didn’t want it, I swear.”
“I’m not sure you know what you want. First, you were engaged to Delilah-”
“That was two years ago.”
“-and then you broke that off, but she never seemed to think it was really over. She was always all over you, and you allowed it. Then, you dated me in secret. Maybe that had nothing to do with the job. Maybe it was because you were never sure about us.”
All softness was gone from her expression, and she looked hurt. The way I’d made her look so often lately.
“You really think that?”
“I don’t know what you think anymore. I thought you lo-”
She cut herself off, shaking her head. Her arms wrapped around her body, and she shifted her eyes to the side. “I thought you cared about me. Then, you dumped me like I was nothing to you. Just decided you didn’t want me anymore. So, how am I supposed to believe that you want me?”
“I’ve been trying to prove it to you. Don’t let one stupid text that I didn’t ask for ruin it.”
But she was already backing away from me, her spine curved and her head hung low. Like she was weighed down by all the shit I put her through.
“It’s not just one text, Ford. She sent that picture because she believes that there’s a chance of getting back together with you.
Because despite the fact that you’ve been in a relationship for the past six months, you’ve never told her that it’s not happening.
You’ve let her think that you’re open to being with her.
Honestly, she’s not even the real problem here.
Because her entitlement comes from your apathy. ”
With that, she turned away and stormed toward her bungalow. I wanted to follow her more than anything, to plead my case, but I didn’t because she was absolutely right. I’d left the door open for Delilah. Not because I hoped she’d walk through it but because it was easier than being honest.
Fuck.
I wanted to scream.
No, I wanted to go back in time six months and tell myself not to make so many damn mistakes. That being with Zoey was something to be proud of and to hell with the job if getting it required sacrificing her happiness.
But there was no going back. All I could do was change going forward. Because damn it, I did know what I wanted. I had a piss-poor way of showing it, but it was true.
I wanted Zoey’s giggles that made me feel lighter than air.
I wanted to give her a proper proposal and have her say yes this time.
I wanted to have a family with her, one that was nothing like the ones we grew up with.
There would be love and support and happiness that came from being together. Not from a job.
I turned away from the resort and headed to the beach. I needed to walk and think about what to do next. Because I was determined to give both of us that future. It might have felt like it was impossible right now, but I wouldn’t give up. Not now, not ever.