Chapter Fourteen Zoey
The night that Ford broke up with me, I promised myself that I’d never settle for less from a man ever again. I was ashamed of the secret nature of our relationship, and I didn’t want to ever feel small like that again.
But it was more than that. It was a vow born of fear.
I knew I deserved better than a hidden relationship, but that promise was really about trying to protect myself from further pain. Because I loved the man, despite the issues we had.
Today, when Ford shared his history with me and told me with absolute certainty that I’d be a good mother, I felt the protections I put in place fall away.
The anger and hurt that I clung to didn’t matter in that moment because love rushed back into my heart.
When he tucked that flower behind my ear, all I wanted to do was throw my arms around him.
That was a problem because as much as I wanted to believe that we could find happiness together, I needed to remember that this wasn’t our real life.
The island was magical in a way, and it was easy to get caught up in the romantic setting and Ford’s heartwarming devotion, but on Sunday, we would be returning to Chicago, where all of the problems between us still existed.
The job and Dr. Serrano and Delilah. The little moments that hurt because they made me feel unimportant and the big moment when he shattered me.
As easy as it would be to forget they all existed, I couldn’t. Because as much as it hurt to lose Ford the first time, if I let myself believe all his promises and it fell apart again, it would be even worse.
The fear was still there, and it ruled me.
So, when we sat down for the rehearsal dinner that night—after a practice run of tomorrow’s ceremony on the beach—I purposefully didn’t sit in the empty seat beside Ford. Even when Damien took the chair I wanted beside Kelsie, I refused to go to my ex.
That was how I really needed to think of him. My ex.
Instead, I sat next to Jake. The meal passed by in a blur of laughter and lively conversation, and I didn’t let my eyes stray to the other end of the table where Ford was once.
Because I knew without looking that his blue eyes would be filled with regret and the deep affection that I always thought was love.
But it couldn’t be. He wouldn’t have broken up with me if it was.
That was what I told myself, and I honestly wasn’t sure if it made me feel better or worse.
“Mark my words, you’re going to end up with a minivan,” Jake said to Ryan. “First comes marriage, then kids, then you’re trading in that Mustang you love for something soccer moms drive.”
Jess pointed her fork at him. “Hey, no bashing soccer moms. They are superstars.”
Cody laughed and put his arm around his wife. “Besides, a minivan is practical when you have kids.”
I couldn’t help thinking about myself driving a minivan and driving around a little version of myself and Ford.
Maybe a little girl with his blonde hair that I would take to gymnastics class or a little boy with my brown eyes with a paper maché volcano in his lap as we went to a school science fair.
For the first time, I could see a future with my child beyond the fear that had taken root as soon as I found out I was pregnant.
I knew that was because of Ford, and for the first time that evening, I looked in his direction. Of course, he was already watching me. There was an intensity in his expression that made my breath hitch.
“Zoey?” I jolted and turned to Jake, who was frowning at me. “You okay?”
I forced a stiff smile. “Yeah. Of course.”
Just trying to figure out what to do about my secret ex and the father of my child.
“I hope everyone is ready for dessert,” the waitress said, appearing at the table with a massive tray balanced on her hand.
Since this was the rehearsal dinner, the menu had been preselected in advance.
The meal was a delicious shrimp linguine, and the dessert that Leanne and Ryan chose was another cheesecake, but this one was smothered in a strawberry glaze.
I didn’t consider myself to be a picky eater, but I’d never liked strawberries.
So, I politely declined the dessert, but I didn’t ask for anything else, not wanting to inconvenience the woman that had such a big party to serve.
Instead of making a deal about it, I hung around and continued to talk with Leanne and Ryan while everyone else ate their dessert.
Then, the waitress came back with a single plate in her hand. In the center was another piece of the amazing chocolate cheesecake that Ford had brought to my bungalow last night. The waitress set it down with a kind smile but didn’t say a word about where it came from, and I didn’t have to ask.
Glancing down the table again, I met Ford’s eyes, and he winked at me before turning back to a conversation with Gordon. I suddenly wished that I was sitting beside him.
But the fear lingered. He’d hurt me more than anyone else ever had, and anytime I thought about opening my heart to him again, a coiled tightness appeared in my stomach like a warning of what was at risk.
I took my time eating the cheesecake, savoring every bite, even while the party started to break up. Jake left the table first, heading to the nearby tiki bar for a drink.
Not long after, Kirsten and Angela headed that way too.
Leanne and Ryan left with her mom and aunt to check on last-minute details for tomorrow’s wedding, and I saw Kelsie march away from Damien in a huff. I hoped she wasn’t trying to get away from him, but he followed right after, clearly not about to let her go anywhere without him.
I wondered what was going on with those two. There was obvious tension between them the last couple of days. Not that I had any room to talk.
“So, you like your replacement dessert?”
I looked up as I put the last bite of chocolate goodness into my mouth to see that Ford was in Jake’s empty chair.
I grinned. “You spoil me, you know. Chocolate two nights in a row?”
His eyes flickered to my stomach. “Well, we need to feed the sweet pea, and I know you don’t like strawberry.”
I wished my heart wouldn’t flutter when he did thoughtful things or remembered stuff about me like that. It made it so much harder to remember why I was reluctant to be with him again.
“Can I walk you back to your bungalow?” he asked.
No. It’s a bad idea. I need to try not to love you anymore.
“Sure.” I stood and we walked off the terrace where we’d eaten dinner.
We were on the concrete walkway and had just passed the outdoor pool when my brother’s angry voice cut through the peace of the evening.
“Ford! We need to talk!”
We both turned as Jake stormed toward us, and my confusion evaporated when I saw Kirsten trailing behind him with a panicked look on her face. Shit.
“Kirsten must have told him,” I murmured. Jake was getting closer, and he looked mad, but Ford turned to me anyway. “She knows about the baby.”
Jake stopped in front of us, his glare focused on Ford. “Is this true? Did you sleep with my sister?”
“Hey! I’m standing right here,” I snapped.
“Zoey, I’m sorry,” Kirsten said, looking more upset than I’d ever seen her. “I didn’t mean to tell him. It just… slipped out.”
“I just want to know what’s going on,” Jake said, his eyes slightly softer as he looked at me. “Kirsten said you’re pregnant with his baby, but you’re not together. So, what the hell is going on here? Did you take advantage of my little sister?”
I slapped his arm. “I’m still here, Jake! Stop talking about me like I’m not.”
“I just want to know what happened between you guys. I’m trying to look out for you.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m twenty-seven years old. I can look out for myself.”
“We were a couple for six months,” Ford said in a low, serious voice.
Jake’s chest expanded as he drew in a deep breath. “What do you mean, were a couple? And you said it was six months? Why didn’t I know that you guys were dating for that long?”
A memory suddenly surfaced. When I was fourteen years old and Jake was seventeen, he found out that I was being harassed by a boy on the basketball team.
He asked me out, but I wasn’t interested.
It turned out that he was the kind of creep that didn’t like to take no for an answer.
He started waiting for me in the parking lot after cheerleading practice, saying disgusting things to me and getting handsy more than once.
I’d never seen Jake so angry before. The day that I came home crying because I was scared of how far things would escalate Jake was furious.
Ryan was away at college by then, and as usual, my dad wasn’t around enough to know or care what was going on with us. So, Jake took it upon himself to do something about my problem.
When I came out of the school the next afternoon, the basketball player wasn’t waiting for me.
I learned later that evening that Jake had confronted him. The guy ended up with a broken wrist, and Dad threw money at the problem to keep Jake out of trouble.
I stepped closer to Jake, suddenly worried about his reaction to all this. He wasn’t nearly as angry as he was when we were teenagers, but if he knew that Ford had broken my heart, he might still throw a punch or two.
Most people didn’t know that Jake had a temper, but my brother was more than just a fun-loving ladies’ man. He might have had some commitment issues, but he cared about his friends and family more than he usually let on.
He’d do anything for us.
“Jake, that’s enough,” I said firmly. “I didn’t tell you we were dating because…”
“It’s my fault,” Ford cut in when I trailed off. “I was an idiot, and I insisted that we keep the relationship a secret.”
Jake blinked a few times while he processed that. “Why? Because you’re friends with Ryan?”
“No. It was about work. I just didn’t think it was a good idea for everyone to know.”
“But that didn’t stop you from getting her pregnant.” Jake’s voice was practically a growl. “And then what? You broke up with her?”