Chapter 6
Six
Logan
Sierra kissed me. More than that, for a split second, I sensed she wanted a real kiss, not the cheek kiss she had given me.
Seth is unloading the dishwasher when I stumble into the kitchen.
“You okay, bro?”
“Fine,” I say, but Seth keeps staring. To avoid looking at him, I grab a glass, fill it with water, and gulp it down.
I didn’t expect her to want a kiss. What would I have done if I had?
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I sigh. All the energy leaves me, and I lean against the counter. “She’s different. And the same.” She now possesses a poise and polish that she previously lacked. Her eyes are sharp and aware, sensing, assessing, and constantly shifting gears with the mood.
It’s impressive, but it’s not the artless, carefree Sierra I remember. She used to be impulsive. Provoking. Always pushing my buttons. Back then, it usually led to a fight—or sex. But now she reels herself back in, smooths things over.
Seth nods sagely. “You’re different too.”
“Yeah.” I release a long breath. “I didn’t ask her why.”
Seth looks at me with pity, and I’m both grateful and embarrassed that he seems to know exactly what I mean. “Do you want to know the answer?”
“I don’t know. I guess I don’t need to know. It’s all in the past, you know?”
Seth gives me another one of his perceptive twin looks, and I turn away, embarrassed. I don’t believe my lies, either, as much as I wish I could.
“Be honest, bro,” he says gently. “You’ve got some deep trauma imprint stuff with this girl.”
“Trauma imprint stuff?”
He waves away my protest over his terminology. “You know what I mean. She fucked you up in the head for a long time. Maybe even still. Or at least when March comes around.”
“I thought once I knew she was safe, I could move on with my life.”
“You haven’t.”
I groan. “I know.”
“She’s leaving tomorrow?” Seth asks.
“I don’t think she can, but she won’t stay either.” I tell Seth all about her destroyed, ancient van, how it looks like she can’t pay for repairs. All her clothes and bed linens are threadbare, her supplies clearly secondhand and well-used.
“What do you think?” I ask.
Seth unloads the last plate from the dishwasher before turning to face me. “We can help her leave. Pay for her van repairs. We can tell her how we distributed the funds from the Blackstone find to most of the townies. She’s entitled to some of it too.”
“Yeah.” Disappointment settles in my chest. “Yeah, that makes the most sense. It’s just… What are the chances that she ended up here by accident? I don’t want to squander this. Maybe this is my chance to find some closure so that I can move on.”
“Closure,” Seth repeats. “I don’t know if that’s even possible. Mom’s always saying time heals all wounds, but to expect scars. What if ripping it open makes it uglier? And she’s so guarded now—you can’t just dump that conversation on her and expect honesty.”
I consider this. Even if she did get comfortable enough to have a conversation like this, she wasn’t particularly honest before.
When we fought as teenagers, we fought hard.
She intentionally chose retorts that would get a rise out of me, and I would punish her with the meanest insults I could think of.
Or break up with her. God, we were a nightmare.
In hindsight, our relationship was toxic and unhealthy, but at the time, it had felt exciting. Powerful.
“So she may need time,” I say instead. “Let’s offer her a job at our company and find a place for her to live so she can raise some money to pay for her van. That’ll take a while. We were just talking about hiring more people to help out.”
“Especially with you going rogue at work.” He gives me a stern look.
“What? You know I’m right. The Blackstone Legacy Concert and Poetry Reading is a great event idea.”
He shakes his head. “You gotta knock it off. We all work well together. Stop trying to fuck it up.”
I hold my hands up in surrender. “I will.”
“So you want to ask Sierra to stay?” he asks.
Excitement rushes through me at his words.
Sierra staying in Sagebrush. It feels right.
Like my feet planting on solid ground after rappelling, or the key smoothly sliding into the lock of my front door.
Like the moment she leaned toward me, her beautiful face tilted up, eyes closed and lips soft.
Or how her face shone with pride and happiness for me after I told her about the Blackstone find.
I miss that. I’ve missed her. The way she used to look at me always made me feel alive, like I was her bright, powerful hero, and she couldn’t wait for the rest of the world to discover me too.
“Logan.” The pity in Seth’s voice snaps me out of it. “Just for closure, though, right?”
I rub the back of my neck. “That’s… I’m not… I’ll just be helping her out and reconnecting. As a friend.”
“You forgot it’s scientifically proven that twins can read each other’s minds.”
“No, it isn’t.” At least not scientifically proven. It is unnerving sometimes how well Seth and I can read each other, even as adults.
Seth waits.
“What do you want me to admit here? Why do you care?”
“I don’t want you to get hurt. She’s not gonna stay long-term.”
It’s a low blow. “Closure is the main goal, of course.”
“Main goal? Logan. She’s not staying. She laughed when I asked her earlier. You’ll get hurt if it turns romantic again.”
“I know.”
“Maybe this is a bad idea—”
“No, it’s a great idea. Much better than the ‘sexiest mine in the Southwest.’”
“Hey!” Seth looks offended. “I thought you liked that idea!”
“Night, bro!” I escape before Seth can respond.
All night I toss and turn, hyperaware of Sierra’s presence in the spare bedroom, just next to mine.