15. Make it Stop
Faith
I entered the elevator, gripping Cassius’s hand. I felt like I was dreaming. I was married, and the ceremony had gone better than I’d dared hope. My brother seemed happy. My friends had attended as my bridesmaids. Cassius’s brothers were friendly, welcoming, and upbeat.
Cassius had arranged for my friends to join me. He’d hired a wedding coordinator to ensure every detail was attended to. He’d bought a suit for Lucas, and all three Blackwoods had spent time getting to know my brother.
I glanced up at Cassius. “Thank you for being so kind to my brother.”
“It’s my pleasure. Lucas is a fine young man.”
“It was really nice of you to buy a condo here,” I said, my voice small. ‘Really nice’ was a gross understatement. “That was incredibly generous.”
He squeezed my hand. “I know how important your brother is to you.”
My heart somersaulted; that tiny spark of hope ignited inside of me again. But then the elevator doors opened, and I was suddenly jarred from my warm feelings.
My mother stood in the lobby, arms crossed against her chest, her face twisted with rage. A security guard stood nearby, watching her.
“There you are!” she hollered when she saw me.
“Mom, what are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? I was here for my only daughter’s wedding, but that bitch wouldn’t let me upstairs to see my own children!” She pointed at the receptionist. “She called security on me!”
“I called security because I told you there was no open visitation right now, and you started making a scene.” The receptionist looked at us pleadingly. “I’m sorry I called security, but she threatened me. I didn’t want to interrupt your celebration.”
“You made me miss my daughter’s wedding,” my mother snarled, “and I’m going to make you pay, bitch!”
“Mom, stop.” I moved closer to her. “I didn’t invite you to the wedding. How did you find out about it?”
She lifted her chin, defiant. “I got a friend who works here.”
“Oh,” I said. It was probably her bookie. Or her dealer.
“He called and said it was all the talk about you getting married to some billionaire in Lucas’s room,” she said. “He said I better get over here quick if I didn’t want to miss it. How dare you not invite me! I’m your mother!”
“I had my reasons,” I said under my breath.
Her gaze flicked down to my engagement ring. The diamond was so enormous that her eyeballs almost popped out of her head. Her expression changed from angry to calculating. I had to give my mother one thing: she sure moved quick.
She glared at Cassius. “You owe me. You’re the one who wouldn’t let me upstairs—I know it!”
Just then, Leesa, the wedding coordinator, hustled down the hall, wheeling two suitcases. She took one look at my mother, at the disheveled receptionist, and Cassius’s angry face and stopped short. “Mr. Blackwood?” she asked. “Can I help?”
“Yes, Leesa, you can.” He turned to me. “What do you want to do with your mother, Faith?”
I blinked at him. “What do you mean?”
He took a deep breath. “What do you want to do with her?”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” she hollered.
“It’s not your turn to voice your displeasure, Mrs. Kensington,” he said coldly. “This is your daughter’s day. It’s her turn.”
My mother fumed while I regarded him. “What are my options?”
“Jail—which is my first choice,” Cassius said immediately. “Or a garden-style apartment. I’m not doing nicer than that.”
“I’ll take the apartment.” I nodded vigorously. “Lucas wouldn’t want me to put her in jail.”
“You can’t put me in JAIL! I didn’t do anything!”
“You verbally assaulted this young woman,” the security guard piped in, motioning to the receptionist. “And you threatened her physical harm.”
Leesa stepped forward. “Mr. Blackwood, would you like me to assist you with finding Mrs. Kensington a suitable, garden-style accommodation? On the other side of town?”
“Yes. That would be lovely, Leesa. I appreciate it,” Cassius said.
“It’s your day,” the wedding coordinator said. “It’s my job to make it perfect.” She turned her blinding, mega-watt smile on my mother, who seemed disoriented by it. “Come with me, Mrs. Kensington. I’m going to find you a lovely new arrangement.”
My mother, being my mother, didn’t bother saying she was sorry to the receptionist. And she didn’t give Cassius or me a backward glance as Leesa led her out the door.
“No offense to my mother-in-law, but good riddance,” Cassius announced. “At least until she comes back again. And they always come back again.”
“I know.” I reached for his hand and laced my fingers through his. “Thank you, Cassius.”
He grinned at me. “You’re welcome, Mrs. Blackwood.”
I’d never visitedthe tiny island of Nantucket, but that was because it was for rich people. It was as lovely as I expected, with cobblestone streets, historic homes, and serene beaches with clear, turquoise water. It was charming and tranquil. The house Cassius rented for the weekend was stunning. It was situated on its own private beach-front compound, within walking distance of downtown.
On the short, private flight to the island, I decided to make the best of things. I decided to try to resume the easy closeness we’d experienced before Cassius had proposed. On our wedding day, Cassius had shown me every kindness. I would reciprocate. Maybe if I was good enough to him for long enough, he would someday return my feelings. Maybe if I showed him I was a loyal wife and tried my best to be a good mother—to not make the same mistakes my mother had made—maybe someday he would believe I was worthy of his heart.
With that plan in mind, I eagerly accepted his proposal to walk to town together to grab dinner, shop, and explore. We held hands as we strolled down Nantucket’s cobblestone streets. It was a beautiful evening. The shops and restaurants were charming, with flower boxes bursting with blue hydrangeas and other colorful blooms. Sailboats and yachts dotted the harbor. A cool ocean breeze swept my face, and I allowed myself to relax and enjoy strolling and holding hands with my new husband.
We stopped for dinner at a bistro. Cassius was uptight and adorable—he insisted on googling every ingredient in my menu choices to ensure they were safe for expectant mothers. “Tilefish is a hard no,” he instructed, even though I had no idea what tilefish was.
It made me see him in a different light: one of a man nervous about becoming a parent and one of a man who cared. It wasn’t the romantic connection I longed for, but it was something. It was a start.
After dinner, we held hands and browsed the shops. “I forgot—I need to check in with Gina,” Cassius said.
“Of course,” I said. “I saw a shop back there—I wanted to get a souvenir for Lucas. I’ll meet you back here.”
We’d passed a bakery, and it had given me an idea. I stopped and bought a souvenir, a small lighthouse statue, which I could give to my brother. But I was really interested in the shop’s bag, which could also store a small bakery box.
When I met Cassius again, he also had a small bag. “What did you get?” I asked.
“Something for Lucas.”
I grinned at him. “Me too.”
But we didn’t show each other our finds until we returned to the house. I revealed my lighthouse, and Cassius pulled out a small stuffed bear.
I reached out and touched its soft fur. “Aw, Lucas will love that.”
“It’s not actually for Lucas,” Cassius admitted. “It’s for the baby.”
“Oh, Cassius.” I clutched the bear to my chest. “That’s very sweet.”
He came closer and tenderly kissed my forehead. “Thank you for today.”
“Thank you. You did so much for me today—I can’t say thank you enough. I’m overwhelmed,” I admitted.
He grinned at me, and it was like the sun coming out. “Get used to it, Mrs. Blackwood. I’m just getting started.”
His phone buzzed, and he scowled. “That’s Gina calling me back. I do need to talk to her.”
“I’m going to take a shower. See you in a minute.” I kissed his cheek.
He smiled as he answered his phone and strolled to the study.
I took the opportunity to place the small bakery box in the kitchen on the island. I wrote his name on the box.
I smiled as I headed to the bathroom.
But suddenly, I felt a cramp in my stomach. I bent over, alarmed, but it passed quickly. I headed into the bathroom, but when I stripped out of my clothes, I discovered bright red drops of blood.
No.I went to the bathroom, hoping I was imagining things, kicking myself that I had ever had any negative thoughts about having a baby.
But there was more blood. Tears pricked my eyes as I felt another cramp. No, please, no. My vision tunneled, and I felt like I might pass out. I was so not good with blood.
I said a silent prayer. I thought of the small, stuffed teddy bear that Cassius had bought for our baby. I remembered the hope and tenderness in his eyes.
No. Please.
But I felt any hope I ever had for happiness go up in smoke.