18. Chapter Eighteen #2
But I couldn’t help it. I closed my eyes and pulled on myself as I imagined her head bobbing up and down between my legs. I imagined the feel of her hair between my fingers as I held the back of her head and pushed her down to take me to the back of her throat until I came.
I cleaned myself up and lay back down with my arms behind my head. Staring at the ceiling, I wondered what my mate was like. I wanted to know everything about her, besides what I already did. My thoughts drifted aimlessly, but eventually I drifted off into a fitful slumber.
Mine .
I woke instantly, my heart beating heavily in my chest and a burn from the newly formed bond searing inside of me. Father had said that the sensation was unmistakable and he was right. The feeling was embedded in my soul.
I didn’t need a mirror to know that the usually muted silver of my eyes was now glowing, and tendrils of my shadows drifted across the floor. The smell of char filled my nose. I released my grip from the sheets to find them scorched where I tightly held them.
I shook my head and internally scowled at myself. I refused to become like the other mated males and turn into some feral animal. That wasn’t what I wanted. That wasn’t what she deserved.
Inconveniently timed, there was a knock at my bedroom door.
I took a few deep breaths, composing myself so that my eyes would dim back to their original state, just before Mavris opened the door.
He paused as he made to enter, looking at the shadows blanketing the floor.
He glanced at me, his eyes eyebrows raised in question.
I withdrew them. “What is it, Mav?” My words were clipped and my tone irritated.
“I was only coming to tell you that the Vaavi have been dispatched. Arra is personally overseeing the unit,” Mavris said as he walked to the end of the bed. I threw off the covers and swung my legs over the edge before walking over to my wardrobe. “Ryk, what’s going on? Your sheets… Your shadows.”
I pulled my arms through the sleeves of my shirt and sighed as I began working the buttons. “My mate has just returned from Hylithria. She’s a Worthy.”
“Oh shit,” he breathed. He paused for a moment. “When did the bond enact?”
I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed deeply. “Yesterday. Before Theron brought me back.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything last night?”
I turned to face him. “Because I was dealing with the Mirren survivors. It was more pressing at the time.” I had wanted to tell him last night—I told him nearly everything about my life.
“You don’t think that your mate is pressing?” His mouth fell open in shock.
“Do not speak of her,” I snarled at him for mentioning her and insinuating that she wasn’t already important to me. I cringed at myself for getting so furious. I knew that it was the unsealed-bond causing me to be temperamental and possessive, just due to the fact that Mavris was a male.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. “Of course she is. But she was not in our realm when I first felt the bond. And there is still no guarantee that she will pass the challenge—if she’s challenged. I didn’t see the purpose in mentioning her until I was certain. ”
He gave me a mocking smirk. “She’s on the other side of the continent and you’re already losing it.” He paused and tilted his head to the side. “How do you know who she is?”
“I saw her,” I said softly.
I recalled the events of my time at the Temple of Odes. About how I had a feeling about the female but didn’t understand it at first.
“Why didn’t the bond snap into place when you first saw her?”
“She hadn’t yet passed the Test of Fate.” It was undecided by the Gods until Galadynia had seen into her soul, until her fate had been sealed.
Does she understand what is happening? Did she feel it just as intensely as I had? Does she even want this…
Mavris watched as my mind started to spiral and his smile fell. “You’re going to have to find her before the bond takes over and you have no control left. From the looks of it, sooner rather than later.”
I shook my head. “I need to be here. I need to help my people to get through this tragedy.” Gods, this couldn’t have come at a worse time.
He huffed a humorless laugh. “You aren’t going to be helpful to anyone if the mating bond hasn’t been initiated and you damn well know it. Would it be beneficial for you to relieve some of the…urges you’re having, with someone else?”
The low growl that emanated from my chest made him flinch.
“Forget I suggested that.” He held up his hands and took a step back.
Mavris was right. The bond would take over more and more until it would completely control me, forcing me to find my mate.
I needed to be here but I also needed to find her, and quickly.
She would have the chance to reject me, to deny the bond if she chose, if the Sages convinced her to do so.
But it wouldn’t be easy. Denying the bond meant denying the Gods—it was damn near impossible.
And if she didn’t want it, I wouldn’t force it.
My mate .
I met Mavris’s stare. “You’re right. But there’s more to it.”
Mavris listened intently, and his face fell further and further until it morphed into outrage as I told him of the panel to decide the outcome of our mating. He didn’t speak for several moments after I finished relaying the demands of the Worthy and Sages.
“This is bad. If one of you doesn’t deny the bond, do you understand what they’ll do if you don’t accept the Raith and they forbid your mating?”
“Nothing good,” I laughed humorlessly.
“They’ll order the Nex .”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “I know.”
The Nex—execution by a blood wielder, and a horrendous death. I would rather throw both of us off the edge of the Rip than for either one of us to endure that excruciating end.
“Ryker,” Mavris said sternly. I opened my eyes to look at my brother. “Go find her.”
Without arguing, I pulled an emergency pack from the bottom of my wardrobe.
“You’ll have to take care of things here while I’m away.
” I slipped on my boots and laced them. “I’ll begin formulating preliminary treaties for the new Worthy once I confirm who they are.
In the mean time, I want you to identify all of the areas that have the capacity to take refugees and compile a list. When I return, we’ll go over it and begin discussions with any that wish to relocate and provide them the assistance to do so. ”
Mavris nodded and crossed his arms. He could handle it, I had no worries about that.
“ Theron . ”
Silence passed for a few moments before he grunted in response in my mind.
“ I need you to Travel me somewhere .”
“ I am busy . I will find you when I return. Do not bother me before then, ” he snapped. He was always a temperamental bastard. That or he just didn’t like me.
My mate would not stay at the Rip long after she challenged—if she survived. But I would know it if she hadn’t. I would have felt it. I needed to travel quickly, and I had a means to do so. Not as fast as Theron but fast enough.
I stood and walked out of my room, heading down the long hall. Mavris bowed as I left. I rounded the corner and nearly bumped into Fahmor, one of the administrators that worked in the palace.
“Lord Ryker! So sorry. I was just looking for you. Some of the—” He stopped when I put my hand up, smiling warmly.
“Forgive me Fahmor, but I must leave.” His eyes noted the pack in my hand. “Mavris will be tending to my affairs until I return. He is in my bedchamber if you need to speak with him. I will return soon.”
He followed as I continued down the stone hallway, bright with the light from the many large windows along the walls, to the glass doors at the end, leading out to a balcony.
I opened the double doors and was met with the chilled breeze from the mountains.
Even in the summer months, Oryn never got hot.
“Where are you going?” he asked, his eyes wide.
I walked to the end of the balcony, where there was a gap in the stone railing and turned to face him, my heels just over the edge. At this distance, the trees on the ground below seemed like nothing more than sticks.
A dark smile crossed my lips. “Hunting,” I said, before I leaned backwards and fell over the edge.