28. Chapter Twenty-Eight #2
Ryker let out a sharp breath and closed his eyes for a moment as if to calm himself before looking at me again with intensity in his eyes .
“It’s because I know how the mating bond works.
And I knew then that I was not in control of the urges.
Not enough anyway. The first encounter can be intense and overwhelming, especially for males.
” He spoke apologetically. “The instinct to claim our mate can completely consume us, no matter how hard we try to fight it. I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t want to do that to you.”
I knew this. I had read about it time and time again in love stories. It was what drove that private dream of mine to have a mate finally come and claim me, to live happily ever after. But I wasn’t completely ignorant about the reality of the mating bond.
Although mates were rare, most instances were recorded and that’s where many of the fae had written fictional books about the romantic encounters.
Most of the records of the actual occurrences were anything but romantic, though.
The claiming could be violent, vicious even, the males having little to no control with the strong urges the bond forced upon them, especially if there was another male with his female.
Some of these instances had even ended in bloodshed.
A realization came over me and I felt the blood drain from my face as fear took hold.
This was my mate, standing at arm’s length without having claimed me yet.
And I had been traveling with another male.
The urge to seal the bond must have been overwhelming for Ryker.
Yet he seemed to have control over it somehow.
But how long could he hold on to it? And… did I want him to?
His tongue swept out and licked his lips.
Lips that I couldn’t stop staring at. I wanted to know what they tasted like.
A wave of heat flashed through me, to my very core, and I thought of that delicious tongue on my body. Something deep inside of me urged to be even nearer to him .
His eyes flicked with a fierce hunger. He tensed and he took a step back as if he could… My eyes widened and the thoughts of what my body yearned to do with his stilled.
“Can you read my mind? Hear my thoughts?” My voice raised an octave, feeling mortified.
“I’m trying not to. But it’s so damn hard for me to control everything when the bond makes me so drawn to you.” The side of his mouth lifted.
My face paled even more at the admission.
He’s been able to hear my thoughts this whole time. And he finds this humorous?
“Not the whole time. And it is kind of humorous. No one has ever discovered my mind abilities since I was deemed Worthy, not even those closest to me until I told them. Yet only minutes with you and you had it figured out. At least my mate is observant,” he said with a proud smirk and a shrug.
I glared at him, realizing he was still able to hear me.
“What do you mean ‘not the whole time’?”
“I only enter someone’s mind when I intend to. But the bond makes me lose control, though I have been able to prevent it the majority of the time. I can feel certain emotions though. I think that’s all the bond’s doing because I’ve never done that with anyone else.”
“You can feel my emotions too?” My mouth fell open in shock.
I hadn’t heard about this, though it was possible that it was entirely unique to us. Some of the mating records indicated that their connections varied. I leaned against the tree trunk next to us and slid down into a sitting position. My arms were resting on my bent knees. It was a lot to take in.
Ryker squatted in front of me, leaning on the back of his heels with his head tilted down so that we were eye level. A slight look of concern was etched into his face.
“Yes,” he said softly. “I started to feel you after your Trial, when you returned from Hylithria. It hit me so hard that it nearly brought me to my knees. You were so conflicted…it angered me, whatever it was that caused you such turmoil. I didn’t even know who you were but I was ready to tear down the world for you. ”
I stared into those pools of silver as I became lost in his words.
“I still don’t understand, why didn’t you approach me sooner?”
He stiffened. “The male you’ve been traveling with. You’ve been with him since you left Morah and you share a tent with him. And a horse,” he grumbled.
I rolled my eyes. “My brother insists on sleeping near me whilst traveling so that we can work together quicker in the event of an attack. He’s an overbearing ass, but no threat to you.
” I eyed him for a moment. “And to put your worried bond at ease, there is no other male in my life that you’d have to challenge. ”
He breathed a sigh of relief. We stared at each other for several moments before he spoke again.
“Let me see you.” He gestured to my face.
I had forgotten that I was still masked. I nodded and pulled the black fabric down, revealing my face. His eyes roamed over it, filled with heat.
My heart was hammering against the walls of my chest, and with that look in his eyes like he wanted to devour me, my core began to heat with desire. My breathing grew faster, and I tried to fight the feeling. Which he could feel. The overwhelming want died down as another question entered my mind.
“How is it that you can feel me but I can’t feel you?”
“It’s stronger for males. As the bond grows, you’ll be able to feel me just as much as I feel you. Until the mating is sealed, our bond craves connection.” His lips twitched up.
The tension in his body made sense then. He was struggling to hold back. The fear that he would snap started to creep back into me. I sat up straighter and my hand fell to the dagger sheathed at my thigh. He noticed the movement and his eyes reflected an emotion that I hadn’t seen yet—hurt.
“I would never harm you, Kya. I promise to never lay a hand on you that you don’t want.”
But I did want. I only feared the violence that was known to come with mated males. But he was in control.
I leaned in slightly, I couldn’t help myself. The pull of the bond was tempting me to reach out, just to touch him, to feel his skin against mine. I was apprehensive of what would happen if I did, but I had to.
I reached my hand out and brushed my fingers across his cheek. I ripped my hand away as shock tore through my body, like lightning tingling over my skin. For only a moment, I couldn’t breathe. Ryker jumped up and stumbled back, almost falling, as I stood.
“Fuck,” he breathed. I could sense how he wanted me in that moment, and it was euphoric to my senses.
“Sorry,” I muttered.
At that slight touch, the instinctual urge to have him claim me right then and there, to make me his and make him mine, was almost too great to resist.
“It’s alright. But I definitely didn’t expect that,” he said through gritted teeth. He grunted, forcing himself to take a step back away from me. I eyed the increased distance between us.
“Ryker.” My voice was quiet.
His eyes snapped up to mine.
“I want you.”
A low growl rumbled in his chest and his body turned rigid.
“You want me.” I stepped closer, glancing down at the evidence pressing against his pants.
“I do.”
I slowly removed my jacket, watching him track the movement with wide eyes, and dropped it to the forest floor. His eyes snapped back up. Those silver irises clashed with mine in the darkness of the night. I wanted the bond of my mate. I wanted him .
“Then claim me.”