34. Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Four
Kya
W e walked back to Morah, hand in hand, as if it were something we regularly did.
I adored every second of the seemingly mundane act.
For a few minutes, I let myself pretend that this was normal, and we didn’t have the weight of an entire Nation on our backs and that this was how it could be if everything were right in the realm.
We had thought that touching skin to skin would drive us wild, which it did, but we were able to keep ourselves under control. It was almost as if touching kept the urges at bay—a closer connection. At least for now.
When I had first laced my fingers through his, Ryker had simply smiled and caressed his thumb over my hand, looking down at me like I was something precious to behold.
Not that I would have ever admitted it, but Ryker’s display of power turned me on, and I had to restrain myself from him as we held each other in that alley. I didn’t know how I knew what to do or say to bring him down from his rage. Our souls sang to each other and knew what the other needed most.
But him stepping in and taking over in a situation that I had handled on my own?
I didn’t know how to feel about that. While I appreciated the gesture, I wasn’t some weak damsel who needed saving.
We needed to have a talk about boundaries, about space, about him letting me do things my way and on my own.
“About before,” I said, breaking the silence between us.
“Kya, I’m sorry about that.” His jaw tensed. “I just… I don’t know what came over me. I mean I do but… I saw his hands on you and I wanted to rip his godsdamn throat out.”
“I’m not upset with you. It was the bond.
I get that. But I don’t need you swooping in to defend me.
Stand by me, support me. Whatever. Just try to let me handle my own problems. I can assure you, I had the situation under control.
He’s not exactly the worst I’ve dealt with.
” I gave a tight smile. From the hardness that settled in his eyes, I could tell that he didn’t much care for that, but he was just going to have to get over it.
“And if I can’t control it?” he asked, looking straight ahead with a cold expression.
I came to a stop and squared my shoulders. He turned to face me and I looked down my nose at him. “You’re just going to have to figure out how. Otherwise, I’ll…hug another male just to piss off your side of the bond.”
Harmless or not, he didn’t like the threat. The narrowing of his eyes made my breath catch.
“A little gem with sharp edges,” he said with a dark grin. He leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Are they tender?” Ryker asked with a look of concern after we made it back to my rooms, gesturing at the redness of my wrists. The burns were already beginning to heal, and I knew that they would be gone by morning.
“It’s fine, really. See?” I let go of his hand and held up my wrists for his inspection, turning them back and forth, showing him that they were better than before.
He tenderly grabbed my hand again, holding it closer to his eyes to examine it before doing the same with the other one. Nodding slowly, he released me, taking a step back.
“Right. Well, I just need to change and grab my pack then we can go.” I closed the door to my room and quickly changed into more suitable traveling attire.
When I came out, I found Ryker waiting by the door.
He was holding both of our packs and had a grin on his face as he leaned against the door frame.
His eyes lit up and traveled up and down the length of me before pushing off to greet me.
My cheeks heated under his gaze, and I couldn’t help the small smile that crossed my lips.
“Where to now?” he asked, opening the door for me and closing it behind us.
“The stables. It’s a few days’ ride, so we’ll get new horses for the journey and let the others rest. I reached out to Odarum, but he’s still gone to wherever he goes.”
I wanted to give him a piece of my mind the next time I saw him.
I had thought of Quilla and wanted to take her, surprisingly missing her stubborn demeanor.
But this was another long journey, and I didn’t want to push the old mare.
I was giving her a better life of being cared for in the stables of Ilrek with a nice retirement in the meadows.
I made a mental note to visit her, though.
We made our way down the expansive staircase, able to leave the great library without delay. I had already said my goodbyes to Eamon, Nikan, and Malina when we returned before coming up to the residential level.
“If you want,” Ryker said, “we could get there in just under a day.”
I cocked an eyebrow, and he smiled.
Oh no.
“No.” I shook my head.
The idea of flying was exciting but entrusting him to hold me the entire time was daunting. I would be entirely at his mercy. He could drop me and all his problems would be over.
“It’s really not as bad as it seems, and it’s a lot faster than riding on a horse.
Not to mention, I’ll need to get back to Oryn soon.
If I’m going to help you, we need to make the most of our time.
And it’ll give me an excuse to touch you for hours.
” He winked, giving me a sly look. I felt my cheeks heat.
He was right, though. It would be faster, and time wasn’t on our side. I couldn’t expect him to stay away from Oryn for so long and while I could handle this on my own, I wasn’t above accepting help for something this important.
“Okay,” I conceded in a sharp exhale. My answer was rewarded with the presence of a wide smile from my mate that made my breath catch. I wanted to see that smile every day.
Ryker followed me up to the ledge, and I could sense his enthusiasm about soaring through the skies with me in his arms. The veins in my neck thudded with my quickened pulse.
It wasn’t that I was afraid of heights, but I had never flown before.
And he would be in complete control of my life, having the capability to end it so quickly.
Then again, he could have done that at any point. I couldn’t exactly fight shadows.
I faced Ryker as he set down our packs and grabbed the hem of his shirt and started pulling it up.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Just switching shirts. My other one has slits in it so my wings don’t tear the fabric.” He pulled the shirt over his head in one smooth motion, revealing his toned body.
I clenched my fists behind my back so I didn’t reach out and touch his deliciously sculpted body.
I couldn’t stop staring, drinking in the sight of him as my eyes trailed up and down.
When I looked up at his face, his eyes were dark, watching me study him and the side of his mouth tilted up in a smirk.
“Just put your shirt on,” I grumbled, turning away and looking out at the city, trying my best to pretend I didn’t hear his chuckle behind me.
At my back, his warm breath tickled the wisps of hair beside my ear, and I turned to face him after hearing the material of his shirt slide over his body.
His magnificent wings were on display, catching the light of the sun and giving me a full view.
I leaned in to examine them closely, grazing my fingertips against the leathery texture.
I hadn’t really had the chance to take the time to truly admire them until now.
He stayed still, allowing me to look as I stepped around him, viewing them from behind.
They protruded from his back, which muscled around the ends of them.
The spine of the wings came to a tip with a claw at the top then back down to the other end, filled with sections of scarred leather underneath them.
I wondered again how he got those scars, but I felt that if he wanted to tell me, he would do so in his own time.
I trailed my finger up one of the spines and he lowered his wing for me so that I could reach the claw at the top.
“They’re spectacular,” I breathed, my curiosity satisfied. I walked back in front of him with a smile. “Do they hurt when they come out?”
“The first few times, yes. And more so with clothing obstructing it. But you get used to it.”
“Are you sure they’re strong enough to hold the both of us?” I cocked a hip and raised one eyebrow at him, my smile pulling up at the corner.
His wings wrapped behind me, pulling me against his chest as he created a cocoon around us. A humorous grin splayed on his face when I gave a surprised yelp. “I’m sure.”
I bit my lip to keep from smiling .
“Are you ready?” he asked. “You’ll have to hold the packs since I’ll be holding you.”
I nodded, and he unfurled his wings so I could grab the packs.
The thought of Ryker cradling me against him for hours and soaring through the air had my heart racing with anticipation and anxiety. I collected the packs and came back to stand before him.
I just have to trust him.
Scooping me up in one smooth motion, he adjusted me so the packs weren’t digging into my chest. “Is this alright?”
“Yes,” I said, trying to keep the shaking from my voice. He held me firmly to his body as he stepped to the end of the ledge. I looked down, which I realized was a terrible idea. “Please don’t drop me.”
“I would never,” he said in a low voice, giving me a reassuring smile before he stepped off the edge and descended into nothingness.
My body tensed and squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for the sickening feeling of my stomach turning over as we dropped.
But it never came. The swirling wind caught my hair, sending the long strands dancing along the contours of my face.
I slowly peeled my eyes open, glimpsing Ilrek below as we glided through the sky.
The city grew farther and farther away as we ascended into the low clouds.
The view was breathtaking and I realized then that I loved being in the air.
It felt so otherworldly yet a part of my very essence.