36. Eli
Eli
Setting a glass of water on the end table next to her, I carefully take up a spot next to Kendra, mindful not to bump her.
Her already petite frame somehow looks even smaller since crumpling to the floor in the ruins of her hard work.
There is no magic wand that can make it all better, and it’s not like she can even get out there creating anything new with her broken arm, broken ribs, and recovering from surgery.
She has a long road to healing, and the studio space is now an extension of that.
“What am I going to do?” Kendra whispers to me.
“You are going to rest. I’m going to clean up the mess, but not until Danny comes and gets what he needs for evidence.” I tuck a pink-streaked strand of hair behind her ear, and she leans into my hand.
“I mean. Yes, I know Danny has to come, but, Eli, I can’t even walk into my own home.
It’s my favorite place. Those walls have always been where I have felt the most safe, and now he’s taken that away from me.
Ever since Nana passed I’ve been slowly changing things room by room, but it’s the same house.
I still felt the same peace every time I came back through the door—until today.
” She wipes the one rogue tear that slips past her defenses and rolls down the apple of her bruised cheek.
“We can make it feel like that again. He doesn’t get to take away what you love.” I lace my fingers with hers, unwilling to be separated from her, needing to be closer to her in any way I can.
“I was planning on remodeling the kitchen next, been saving for years. How am I going to do it when I can’t even walk back in the door and stay more than five seconds?
And the living room . . . the whole room makes me feel like I am spinning.
” Kendra dips her head, trying to hide her emotions from me.
“Sweetheart,” I say, and she sucks in a sharp breath, but I keep going, “I will tear that kitchen and living room apart with my bare fucking hands so you never have to look at it like it is now. I will erase every flicker of that night from your mind when you come home if that’s what it takes to make you feel safe there again. ”
Kendra’s tears stream down her face freely and she gently leans in, pressing her sore lips in a kiss on my cheek. “Thank you.”
“I told you, I’m here. Not going anywhere. You have me, for whatever you need.” I look deep into her eyes, hoping she knows I am not bullshitting her or just saying this because I promised Lainey I would look after her.
“Well, I guess I am going to have to stay with my dad for a while.” She leans back into the couch with a sad slump. She looks at the new phone in her lap that Lainey and Rem set up for her while she was still in the hospital to replace her smashed one.
“That’s not happening,” I tell her.
“What else am I going to do? I can’t go into my own place, Eli. I have nowhere else to go.”
“You can stay here, with me.” Not only do I want her to be here with me, I need her here, especially after everything that has happened.
Originally I had planned on bringing her home, to her own house, and checking in on her no less than ten times a day, being her practical shadow.
I wanted her to have her own space and time to get used to the idea of there being an us again, of having me in her life, of working through the shit that happened in the past and giving me a second chance.
Now, that isn’t an option, and there is no way I can have her moving far away, out of sight, out of reach, away from my protection even if Cross is behind bars.
“Eli, you have Wren. I can’t just move in here,” Kendra protests. “I don’t want to confuse her.”
“She’s an infant, I don’t think she will be confused. Plus she loves you.” Emotion rocks Kendra’s expression at my words, a ripple of something I don’t know how to read, especially with the way her face is still marked from the attack.
“I don’t know . . .”
“And we can start on the house renovations. You said you had planned on a contractor coming out right? I can help them with the demo, but if you are right next door you can still keep an eye on the project and stay updated, but you won’t ever have to go in the house until you’re ready.
” I do my best at trying to convince her that this is her smartest option.
“The cabin,” Kendra corrects.
“Huh?”
“That’s what Nana and I always called her house, my house. It’s my cabin. I know it’s not an actual cabin. Zero logs, not on a lake, up north, or in the woods. Sounds silly and weird to other people—but for us the name always just felt cozy and right.” Kendra sighs.
“Like a cabin,” I say, humming in understanding.
“If you’re really sure this is what you want, I don’t want to be an inconvenience or interrupt your life. We could barely stand to be in the same room with each other as of a few days ago for longer than minutes without bickering.” Kendra gives me the tiniest of smiles.
“That’s just our unique brand of foreplay, we can’t help but to poke at each other that way since we couldn’t poke at each other the way we really wanted to.” I wink at her.
“Ohmygod.” Kendra smacks me in the chest lightly with the back of her hand, which I snatch up in my own and gently place a kiss on the back of. Heat pulses between us and we just stare at one another, trapped in the moment and a web of tangled memories all at the same time.
Clearing her throat, Kendra says, “We should call Danny. Then maybe you can go next door and get some of my things for me? I can write you a list?” She bites down on her lip nervously, forgetting that it’s still damaged, and winces.
“Sure, I can do that. And I already texted him, he’s on his way.” I will do anything in my power to make her comfortable here, make her know that she is welcome, that I want her here . . . with me, where she belongs.