44. Kendra
Kendra
“Ihave never seen anything as cute in my entire freaking life,” squeaks Lainey.
We are all gathering in front of Sutton’s house on Halloween because she lives on a cul-de-sac and has the perfect trick-or-treat neighborhood.
We bought tons of candy and are going to camp out at the end of her driveway, pass it out to all the kids, and gush over the adorable costumes .
. . but Lainey’s right, I don’t think anything we see can top Wren.
Especially with the added touch Eli did for her costume, which they will see in three, two, one . . .
“Wait, wait! That’s not all.” Eli gently hands me Wren in her half-hatched, fluffy baby chick costume. It’s still a little awkward with my soft cast, but I’m well-practiced now and love having her in my arms.
Eli flips down the tailgate of his truck and slides out a little red wagon he found at the thrift store.
He then spent a whole day at the craft store and in his garage, with Wren supervising him from her bouncy chair when she wasn’t napping, turning the inside of the wagon into an adorable, cozy nest for his little chick to snuggle in.
“Ohmygosh!” Jess, Sutton, and Lainey collectively shout when they see the wagon.
Eli grins at me, proud-dad aura buzzing full blast all around him in his overalls and flannel shirt—because of course he had to be a farmer .
. . and that meant he tricked me with unfair baby powers to match him too.
I told Eli that I didn’t want to dress up, and I certainly should not be matching him and his daughter.
So he pulled the “but it will make Wren sad if you don’t” card with a stupid pouty face squished up next to Wren’s face that should’ve made me annoyed but instead made me melt.
Here I stand in my overalls and flannel shirt . . . matching him, looking way too much like a couple. Like a little family. It makes my heart ache painfully.
Ever since the “moment” we had in the kitchen after Easton left, we haven’t addressed our relationship or lack thereof.
Everything is so murky and tangled in my mind.
But what has happened is Eli involving me in each little decision.
What pajamas should we put Wren in? What should we have for dinner?
Is it okay if his sisters come for a visit to our house on Tuesday?
Wren is growing out of the bassinet that he moved from his room into the nursery, so we need to decide on a crib.
He kisses me good morning and good night every day he is home, not pushing for more .
. . And I just go along for the ride because it feels so fucking good to be ingrained in his world, because I want to be a part of it.
But this? Today, today might be too much.
Sutton dressed Kinsley as a sheep, and I quickly wipe away the tear that escaped my eye without permission.
Watching her joyful smile, I don’t know how she does it, stays so strong on days like today.
I know that she is keeping her late husband’s memory alive by doing little things like this.
When the package arrived from Derek—after his death—with a little green blanket he had secretly custom ordered for their unborn child, covered in tiny white sheep, it was a gift in so many ways.
So now a sheep is so much more than just a sheep to Sutton and to our found family.
The Little Bo-Peep costume Sutton is wearing is adorable and sweet, the perfect complement to her little sheep.
“I have to get a picture of the two of you!” I exclaim to Sutton, settling Wren into her wagon nest and pulling out my phone.
Backing up to get the perfect shot, I bump into Eli and he wraps one of his massive hands around my middle, tugging me closer. My entire body feels like it’s aflame from his touch and I’m positive my rosy cheeks are giving me away.
“Smile! Kins, look at me,” Eli says. I can feel his other hand wiggling bunny ears over my head trying to get Kinsley’s attention. “Look at Aunt Kendra.”
I capture a quick dozen images. “Great! Thanks. I will send you all the good ones,” I tell Sutton, who’s grinning at us wickedly.
“Rem, hey, please take our picture now.” Eli waves his best friend over, who’s dressed as a skeleton groom to match his new skeleton bride.
“Sure thing,” Rem says, holding his hand out for my phone. “Kendra?”
“Give him your phone, sweetheart,” Eli rumbles in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
Rem snaps a few of us together, then with us crouched down by Wren in her nest, then Eli scoops Wren into his arms and we all take pictures together.
It’s after that I insist on pictures of just Eli and Wren .
. . and then Eli insists on ones of just me and Wren, which I try to protest. All the while our friends stand by watching the whole exchange like we are the newest, most fascinating zoo exhibit.
Snapping their own pictures and whispering a safe distance away from the action.
The town alarm goes off promptly at five o’clock, loud and long, signaling the start of trick-or-treat time.
Cheers from the kids all over the neighborhood can be heard, including Matt and Jess Ryder’s three boys who are dressed as Ninja Turtles and are currently rolling around, wrestling on Sutton’s lush front lawn.
“I’m going to go with Matt and Rem around the neighborhood with the boys. Is it fine if I take Wren for a lap or two in the wagon, or do you want to keep her with you and the girls?” Eli asks me, tucking a wild lock of hair behind my ear that somehow came out of my braid.
“She’s your daughter, Eli, you can do whatever you want,” I reply, glancing around nervously.
Eli gives me an assessing look of his own then says, “I’ll take her for a little while and then bring her back to you.”
“That’s fine,” I say, trying to step away, distance myself in more ways than one.
But Eli puts a strong arm around my waist, not caring that everyone is still right here, watching.
Eli pulls me close and kisses me, deeply.
Then he picks up the wagon handle and moves down the sidewalk with Wren and the others like it’s the most natural thing in the world to kiss the hell out of me whenever he wants.