Chapter 26
CHAPTER 26
Sophie was at the O2 arena, taking a video of Thomas and Bella, who were standing in front of a large poster of Elton John, in his full 1970s pomp, wearing angel wings and oversized diamante-encrusted spectacles. Thomas and Bella were also sporting feature specs, with flashing lights around the frames. Bella was dressed in a bright-pink sequinned trouser suit and rainbow platform boots.
‘Has she explained to you yet,’ Sebastian said into Sophie’s ear, from behind her, ‘that the suit is Gucci and the boots are Balenciaga? Just in case you thought she was cutting loose to have a good time.’
Sophie giggled. ‘She did mention it,’ she said, ‘but good on Bella, getting into the swing of it, even if it is all from Bond Street.’
‘She’s only doing it for the business. That video you’ve just taken is for the company socials.’
‘Stop being such a Grinchy cynic,’ said Sophie, poking him in the ribs with her forefinger, as they followed Thomas and Bella towards the entrance. ‘It’s incredibly nice of them to include us in this, because you’re right, it is really an event for their clients.’
‘A tax deduction.’
‘Stop it! We’re getting to see Elton – SIR ELTON! – in a swishy corporate box, with a top view and no doubt lashings of fizz and tasty snacks. It’s such a shame Freya couldn’t come, though. Did she have a work thing?’
‘She’s still Stateside. As she probably calls it now. She’s getting rather assimilated.’
‘Is that alright for you?’
‘I suppose so,’ he said. ‘The boys come and see their old man and I stay at work later out of choice, but I do feel a bit lost knocking around the house on my own – but you know what that’s like more than I do.’
‘I haven’t really had to face up to it yet. Tamar is pretty much living with me while we do the book and Beau was down for a fortnight, but I’ll have to get used to it sometime.’
‘Having had a taste of it myself now, I’ll make bloody sure you come up regularly to stay with us.’
He and Sophie held back while Thomas and Bella greeted some of the people who were joining them in the box, with the usual rounds of back-slapping between the men, while Bella greeted the wives with air kisses. Sophie noticed there seemed to be just one woman among the work connections and she saw Thomas automatically raise his hand to do the ‘good man’ back slap on her but then he hesitated, hand hovering in mid-air, before patting her lightly on the shoulder, looking self-conscious.
She heard a quiet snort from Sebastian.
‘Thommo just swerved one there,’ he said. ‘Nearly back-slapped himself into an assault charge. He’s such a gorilla.’
When they got to the box, Thomas and the bankers converged at the bar while the wives gathered round the food table.
Sebastian nudged her. ‘While they’re all gasbagging and pretending to eat, we can grab the best seats, then I’ll nip back up and get us some goodies.’
From the moment the music started – ‘Bennie and the Jets’ – Sophie was transported. Every time Elton started a new number, she and Sebastian turned to each other in glee, standing up to dance in front of their seats during all the rocky ones – which made the people behind them get up too.
Sebastian glanced round during ‘I’m Still Standing’. ‘They are all standing,’ he said to Sophie. ‘Some of them are even dancing slightly. I think that’s why Thomas wanted us here – as well as a jolly for the fam – because he knew we’d get the atmosphere going. Otherwise they’d all be sitting there like blocks of salt, thinking about bonds and yields.’
With that in mind, they laid it on thicker, starting a Mexican wave and turning round to high five the people right behind them. During ‘Blue Eyes’, Sebastian got everyone swaying with their arms in the air, phone torches held aloft.
Sophie was having a ball, borne away by the music and the atmosphere, able to put all the troubles of the past few months completely out of her mind for quite long stretches of time.
Then he played ‘Tiny Dancer’.
From the very first note it hit her, like an Exocet missile to the chest. Sophie had done ballet to a high level while she was at school and Matt had always loved to watch her dance. He’d filmed her on a flat sand beach in Wales, with himself humming ‘Tiny Dancer’ over the top. The song had always been special to them, and his brothers had included the clip in the photo and video montage at his funeral.
As Elton continued to play the exquisitely tinkling notes of the introduction, Sophie felt like she was suffocating from the pain of her loss. It felt physical. She had to get away from that music.
Somehow getting to her feet, incredibly grateful she only had to get past Sebastian to reach the aisle, she ran up the steps to the door and out of the box. But even on the upper walkway of the arena, leaning back against the wall with her hands over her ears, the song – as familiar as her own heartbeat – filled the space and swamped her brain.
She heard herself let out something like a strangled cry before the violent tears came. She was just about to sink to the floor when she felt someone’s hands clasp her shoulders.
‘I’m here, Sophie,’ said Sebastian. ‘I’ve got you.’
She sank against him, feeling his arms go round her, as she sobbed into his shoulder.
He gently stroked her head. ‘It’s okay, dear girl,’ he said. ‘Let it out. The song will be over soon.’
But it seemed to Sophie to go on forever, with every note and every word bringing an image of Matt into her head. Not the cruel stranger of that final day, but the real Matt, the one who had loved her, who called her his Tiny Dancer. The one who drew endless pictures of her and told her every day how much he loved her. How she completed his world.
In those few minutes, it felt as though she re-lived every moment they’d ever spent together.
Finally the song finished and Sophie felt herself slump.
‘I’m getting you out of here,’ said Sebastian and he lifted her up and carried her all the way to the exit. Sophie buried her face in his neck, soaking his collar with her tears.
‘Here we are,’ he said, when they got out into the fresh evening air. ‘Do you think you can stand up now?’
Sophie nodded and he lowered her gently until her feet touched the ground. She leant against him like a newborn foal with its mother.
She had no idea how long they stood there like that, vaguely aware of Sebastian fiddling with his phone, but eventually a shiny black car arrived and he helped her into it.
‘We’re going to Thomas’s place,’ he said. ‘You can go to straight to bed, so you won’t have to see them when they get back and I’m going to stay over there too, to make sure you’re okay in the morning and to protect you from Bella’s more intrusive good intentions.’
Sophie didn’t say anything. She couldn’t speak. She just rested her head against Sebastian’s shoulder and, when he put his arm round her, pulling her close, she closed her eyes and tried just to be.