20. Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty
Kat
Ididn’t know which part was the worst part of the night thus far.
I didn’t know if it was the loaded looks exchanged when I said ‘it’s nice to meet you’, since I’d obviously met them before and they obviously didn’t know that I didn’t remember that.
Or if it was Becca acting like a joyous crackhead getting everyone seated at the table.
Or if it was Andrew showing up and giving me a weird look that was half dirty, half… sorry?
Or maybe it was the fact that once settled, I was between Andrew and Henry.
With Mrs. Beaumont directly across from me.
Her husband and Becca on either side of her.
I thought I might actually die. It certainly seemed like Henry’s mom thought she could kill me with just her glare, that was for sure. Fuck me.
But I needed to try.
“I… um… I’m sorry I don’t remember either of you, I don’t remember that year at all, actually,” I offered to his parents, trying… something. Anything. There was a very awkward pause. I glanced down at my hands. I guessed not…
I quickly looked at Henry through my eyelashes.
But he was deep in conversation with his brother on his other side.
I knew I’d effectively stolen him from his family at New Year’s.
I didn’t want to ruin this for him. Especially since it was his birthday, too.
I needed to try. Harder, I guessed. Wasn’t that the theme, anyway?
I never tried hard enough. It wasn’t enough.
I was saved by the server coming around to take drink orders.
They ordered a few bottles of wine for the table, but I declined a glass when the server offered it.
I really didn’t want to have alcohol, or drugs, or anything in my system for a very long time.
But I heard his dad snort. I glanced up. My question must’ve shown on my face.
“It just seems typical,” he stated. He didn’t really have any animosity in his voice. He just said it like it was fact. I didn’t even know what he meant. I thought maybe… maybe I just wouldn’t be able to do anything right. Well, I wouldn’t do anything wrong, either, then.
“I just haven’t had a great time with substances lately. I’ve lost some weight and such,” I offered, gesturing at my cast and sling. His mom actually rolled her eyes. His dad responded, though.
“Substances? I may not know a lot, but I sure as hell know your father would be ashamed of you,” he said. Oh… shit. Oh, no. I wasn’t. I couldn’t. I couldn’t say anything. I stood abruptly, mumbled something about needing to go to the bathroom, and ran.
I was not going to make it through this night. Either I’d say something that turned the last of the Beaumonts against me, or I would crumble into dust under the weight of their hatred.
I knew why. I wasn’t stupid. I remembered what happened back then, now.
We abandoned Henry to be tortured by that fuck.
That’s what my family did. And did my dad go back?
Sure. Too late. Much too late. And again.
A month ago, again. I knew. Which is why I asked Becca what on earth she had been thinking. Because I could not do this.
I sank down on the toilet lid in the stall, willing the tears to stay put inside my head.
Because maybe… maybe I knew what she was doing.
Maybe she was showing me just how fucking doomed this all was.
Not that I didn’t already know that. I did.
I was trying to get Henry to go and be happy and leave me behind, after all.
But how was I doing that? By getting dressed up for his birthday dinner with his family. I was so fucking stupid. Unbelievably stupid. I needed to leave. I needed to go, right now.
Even if it looked like I was just running away again.
Well, maybe I was.
I turned to exit the bathroom, trying to figure out what excuses I was going to make that would get me out of there without upsetting Henry on his birthday.
I felt terrible. I knew he had said he wanted me there, but I just couldn’t stay.
Too bad the universe had other plans, and the door burst open before I could pull it open.
“Don’t leave. Don’t leave, I’m sorry please don’t leave,” Becca blurted before I could even register that she was in tiny bathroom with me. I backed up and sighed, looking up to keep the tears from spilling over. She had her hands clasped together under her chin, begging.
“Becca, I need to go. I don’t want to ruin Henry’s birthday but if I stay, I will. I will,” I explained, trying to keep my voice even and failing. I cleared my throat and continued.
“I don’t really know why you invited me, knowing this. I can’t understand it,” I said. I pushed past her, intent on just heading out. Too bad I ran smack into a warm, solid chest. Motherfucker.
Warm hands steadied me by the upper arms. I seemed to be feeling some sort of masochistic way today, so I looked up. Into concerned blue eyes. With that damn crease between his brows.
“Kat? Are you okay? I know you’ve been having-I-just… are you okay?” he asked, rubbing my arm with his thumb. He hadn’t let go of me. But that was the problem, wasn’t it?
“I’m fine. I didn’t have a panic attack or anything, I just… yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you—you’re supposed to be enjoying tonight. Maybe I should just go,” I finished on a whisper, looking down. His hands tightened on my arms.
“No. Kat don’t go. If Andrew said something I can-“ he started, but I snorted a laugh that cut him off. He looked even more confused.
“Andrew didn’t say anything. It’s fine. Let’s just go back to the table, okay?
” I said softly, knowing I wasn’t getting out of this.
Not without upsetting Henry, on his fucking birthday.
I already sucked enough—I didn’t need to add that to my shitty actions list. So, the only way out was through, it seemed.
He paused for a moment, but followed me when I headed back toward the table. I kept my head held high, knowing I would be biting my tongue an awful lot to get through the night. But I could do it.
It was the least I could do, after everything.