76. Chapter Seventy-Six
Chapter Seventy-Six
Kat
Ididn’t know how I was going to leave after this. If I was being honest, I hadn’t ever known how I was going to be able to leave. I was aiming for momentum, and I’d come to a dead halt. I wasn’t sure why I had thought he’d be okay after the race, when he wasn’t okay BEFORE the race.
Before all the phone calls and life-ruining last night, I had been planning on helping him get ready this morning, despite my misgivings about him racing.
I’d already left him alone then.
And I wouldn’t be leaving him alone now.
But I needed to leave at some point.
I didn’t fucking work here anymore.
Emotional support human wasn’t a job.
I had a new one waiting for me in Africa or somewhere. Maybe.
But right now? Right now, my job was to sit here. And hold him. And help him feel better. While he did something impossibly difficult, impossibly brave, even if it was also impossibly stupid.
Because even if he was a stupid, stubborn driver, he was MY stupid, stubborn driver. Even if I couldn’t keep him. He was mine right now, and he had chosen ME for right now.
I logged into my airline app, changing my flight to tomorrow. It seems I was occupied for tonight.
I hesitated for just a moment, a sharp pang in my chest making tears float to the surface. But then I changed the location, too.
I was going to go see my dad.
“Why are you wearing a Highline team shirt?” Henry mumbled into my neck. I laughed.
“Good morning to you, too, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?” I asked, keeping my voice light. He’d been out for about six hours, and I thought it was some time after midnight. Those numbers weren’t the important ones, right now.
The only ones that mattered were the O2 sats that had risen to 93% while he slept.
Now granted, 95%-100% was a healthy human being.
But 93% was excellent for a broken F1 driver.
I’d take it.
He grumbled again—it had clearly been too long since he’d had any tea. It was a British requirement to infuse every two hours. He was long overdue.
“I spilled tea all over mine earlier and-oh! I meant to tell you, I met Violet,” I said excitedly. He smiled as he nosed my jaw.
“I knew you’d like her,” he said softly. I kissed him on the temple. I shifted to grab the tea I’d just had delivered, glad Basti was able to stop the earlier delivery. Henry had fallen asleep far too fast for that.
“I do. Now, how are you feeling,” I pressed. He groaned again, forcing himself into a sitting situation with a fair amount of effort. He snagged his tea from me like a thief in the night. As if I wasn’t already handing it to him.
Never get between a Brit and their tea.
“I feel like bloody shite, Kat, as you may well expect,” he murmured. I was almost able to hold in my giggle. He gave me a dirty look that was softened by the sparkle of amusement in his eye.
“I’m giggling at your accent,” I explained. He kissed me on the cheek.
“I know, Kat. It’s cute,” he whispered. I smiled, stroking his hair softly while he slurped his tea like a tiny child.
“But I’m sorry you feel like shit,” I offered quietly. He sighed.
“You don’t have to say that, love. I know you think I did it to myself and shouldn’t’ve,” he admitted quietly. I shook my head. He looked up. I shook my head AGAIN.
“I didn’t want you to drive today. That’s true. Because I was WORRIED about you, baby. And yes, you ended up here, after. But I’m here. I told you I would be. And I wouldn’t have told you I’d be here if it was going to come with ‘I told you so’s,” I said simply. He looked at me suspiciously.
“Was that an I told you so?” he asked. He was definitely still loopy. I leaned forward to kiss him and barely remembered I shouldn’t. Couldn’t. I veered up to his nose at the last second. FUCK.
“No, that was an I was worried about you and worried all through the race but understand why you did it. I understand why you THOUGHT you had to do it. And I’ll always support you in your decisions.
But I will also always tell you what I think.
Even if it’s not what you think. Okay?” I said seriously. He nodded.
“Okay,” he whispered. “I like that you don’t just agree with me. I like how fierce you are. How protective. I like all of that, Kat.” I nodded back.
I knew I was leaving. I knew I couldn’t keep him. But I meant all of that. I meant every word. I would protect him however I could.
And I think we’d already seen that however I could was an awful lot.
“I can’t believe they’re making me stay until the morning,” he grumbled after the doctor left. I laughed softly. I couldn’t believe he was trying to argue when he was still trembling slightly. Not to mention, when he was actively arguing, his O2 dropped to 89%-90%. I patted my lap.
“Come back here and rest with me, sweetie. It’s not so bad.
We can have them give you some more sedatives if you want?
” I offered teasingly. He was still quite loopy.
He didn’t need more. Especially since he stuck his tongue out at me for that one, but he leaned back onto my shoulder with a little whine. I grinned.
“If you want to sleep in a comfortable bed tonight, save yourself,” he said dramatically. I booped him on the nose.
“I want to sleep with YOU, tonight,” I said, hearing how it sounded the second it was out of my mouth. He giggled softly.
“We might have to make some adjustments, but I’m sure I can manage something,” he said in a low voice, tilting his head up to kiss my jaw.
I suppressed a little shudder. The man was broken and loopy and exhausted and he still had that effect on me.
And I was sure if I REALLY wanted that, he’d make it work. To his own detriment.
“There are worse ways to go,” he said jokingly. My heart rate ticked up slightly, but I knew he was joking, knew he was loopy, knew he wasn’t capable of being as careful as he usually was for me. I could handle it.
“Well, you won’t be going that way, or at all, under my watch,” I said softly, kissing him on the nose. I pulled the blanket up to cover us, but then thought better.
“Do you want help taking some of your kit off? Do you want to change clothes?” I asked softly, despite not being sure how I’d get him clothes to wear since I certainly wasn’t walking back into that garage.
“Kat, honestly, I hope you either decide to go or don’t mind my sweatiness, because I physically cannot change my clothes right now,” he said honestly, a deep groan proving his point. I pushed his hair back pointedly.
“Henry, I don’t mind. I just wish we could get you changed, I know you can’t be comfortable,” I said sincerely.
Oh. I COULD do something. I carefully shifted him to be laying back on the bed instead of me.
I scooted down to untie one boot, then the other, yanking them off one after the other. I leaned back to look at him.
“Socks or no socks?” I asked. He wiggled his toes. Okay, then. Tiny child. Tiny, adorable child. I pulled those off, too, and tossed it all overboard. I sat back, pulled the blanket over us both, and settled him back on me.
“Thank you,” he mumbled, already halfway asleep again. I brushed his hair back and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“Anytime, sweetie,” I said softly. “Just get some rest.” He snuggled into me, molding himself around me the best he could with the pain he was in. His arm snaked around my middle, holding me still. He pressed a kiss to my neck, making me shiver again.
“You sleep, too,” he murmured, reaching out to turn the light off with his magical remote.
I laid my cheek down on his forehead and did as I was told.