Chapter 29 Translations
Translations
In the wee hours of the early morning just as the Sun’s orange flare begins to glow far out in the east, I finally retire for the night.
From what was once just a starched cage to hold me down from my night terrors, my bed has become such a soft safe haven.
Not only had Lir woven me that new sweater that wraps my body by day, but he has begun to also slowly to knit more of my everyday items. Quilts woven from silky seagrass, pillows stuffed with ocean sponge, misshapen socks (he doesn’t know much about feet), and a nightgown that I think he left with too loose a weave on purpose.
Now my dreams are wrapped up in him, and his ocean.
Illusions of deep emerald green that all spin and twist within every fiber of my being.
Before, if I was lucky my mind was blank like that dreary mist of the rocks, but now I am tossed gently within the waves.
Every night being rocked away in his arms, being reborn as some shiny new pearl shaped by the tiny grains of sand that glimmer in his hair.
The crashing of the waves becomes louder while turning over with intensified speed. Banging cacophonies of silverware drawers being shaken within them, creating echoing metallic vibrations that makes my teeth hurt and my sweat run cold.
The door!
Day is just beginning to break, the mist not yet burnt away from the cratered landscape.
Directly down from my window, when I fully push my face against the glass I see a sparkling ochre splendor trailing from my front door peeking through the haze.
Like a field of wheat sweeping up towards my tower, a lush piece of Heaven all for me.
Joy bubbles and overflows in my chest as much as someone who would look and see a pile of king’s gold at their step.
I do not change, I do not bother. After rushing down, I fumble at the locked knob and series of bolts which are so cruel in their pride to take even a moment from me reaching him. My Lir!
“You said you would come at night! I looked for you all watch, did something happen?”
“Yes, I said I would come back tonight? Is it, is it not—” We both stare at each other our mouths parted in excitement and confusion as he points up at the sky, “Isn’t this when you're always sleeping? Isn’t that when humans call it night? Or at least when you do?”
This gives me pause and I see his point.
Some things do still get lost in translation between us.
At first, I melt a bit in embarrassment, but suddenly I can’t stop laughing.
“That’s just when I sleep, not every human!
It’s just because of my job.” I think of all the times I’ve probably said to him that ‘I have to go to work for the day,’ as the sun was setting or ‘to sleep for the night’ as it rose.
Of course he would be confused! It’s so incredibly stupid I can’t help be doubled over in relief.
I was so concerned that I thought the fog was going to whisk me away in my heartbreak last night.
What is but an hour between night and daybreak, does my heart not sing upon his return either way?
There’s no room in its song for me to be upset at him.
I can’t stop laughing at how scared I was that he was never to return. “Lir! You came back!”
“Of course, I came back.”
He moves just a little closer but still keeps some distance between us for some reason. “How could I stay away from the light that calls to me. This angler’s lantern that draws me back up from the waves.”
Looking back over my shoulder, I look up the tower at the light that only dimly shines out at this hour. “Huh, you’re really that drawn to the lighthouse?”
“I am not speaking of the lighthouse.”
The sea breeze that blows between us feels ticklish with static as every hair stands on up my body—as his lips move in shapes I have never seen from him, never expected. “I came back because I love you, Andrea.”
I try to reply, but my teeth feel too large for my mouth, my tongue tied in the most intricate nautical knots.
Lir waits, his mouth dropped ever so slightly, his brow pressed together in such a peculiar way.
As if this man who has seen everything, has been everywhere—is now in uncharted waters waiting for my response.
Is this another word that has been translated wrong between us?
But, the earnestness in his eyes, the intensity that he looks at me with, this is no word that he takes lightly.
I take the leap.
I jump into his arms splashing about in our channel to the sea. With him, I do not have to pick over my words carefully. “I love you too, Lir.”
Our faces press together, not in delicate kisses—our lips moving like we are scribing into clay tablets all the things we want to say with that word. All the things I wish I knew in more languages that had more intricate words for the feeling that fills my heart.
In the direct passage, the water is much colder now than when it was just still left behind by the tide, but Lir is so warm.
His arms seem stronger, his chest more broad and wide than any man’s and his tail now stretches eight feet long down the canal.
I palm him all over, investigating all the things I am sure to be different, “Lir! You’re—larger! ”
His warm laugh bellows between us, shaking off all that nervousness he had held in his whole body.
Gripping me up into his chest, lifting my legs as well with his other arm, he rubs his chin into my cheek.
“And scruffier! Don’t miss that, Andrea,” he growls playfully.
Little hairs poke at my cheek from a new shadow along his jaw.
I grip his chin between my pointer and thumb, examining him like a piece of art.
He pulls away from me, but only to burrow closer into my skin.
Rubbing his face into my hair and breathing in my scent, he whispers to me, “My palate was cleared by the sea, I have to soak you in again.” He exhales begrudgingly, annoyed that the air intertwined with me has to leave his lungs eventually. He says such a thing so casually.
Chatoyancy I have only seen at the jeweler’s workbench looks back at me, everything about him has been cut and polished to best catch the light, and he glimmers even in the overcast of Cape Despair.
A fish will only grow as large as its tank, released back into the ocean he has become free to stretch out.
I feel as if he could hold the whole world in the net of these hands and I feel so blessed to be the one caught up in them.
I was so excited to see him, I hadn’t at first even noticed the shimmering heavy object in his left hand. I don’t even try to hide my inquisitive stares. He fumbles it, almost dropping the intriguing item. Is he—nervous? He pushes it out towards me, like a boy with a flower.
“For you,” he clears his throat.
He holds out towards me a heavy but finely crafted goblet, “Oh, was your cup not enough? I tried to fix it Lir, but I understand that you must be used to something much grander than a cracked mug—”
Lir cuts off my rambling, his voice now deep and steady, “No. I want to keep using that mug! This is for you to drink your tea, to replace what I broke in your collection.”
My hands shake as I reach out for the luxurious chalice, encrusted in both salt and jewels, a royal cup to drink my burnt military grade tea leaves.
I burst out laughing again, wiping tears from the corners of my eyes.
Laughing at this heavy opulent gift that is probably worth more than a year’s pay, that is if they had been paying me a real salary at all out here.
Lir doesn’t realize the freedom he’s given me, that if I did return to land this could buy this widow an apartment, even possibly a small house, and he just gave it to me as a replacement for a chipped standard issued mug.
He looks at me confused but happy as I can’t help but just laugh at how worthless all my troubles must be to him—how small and easily fixable my heart is in his hands.
That all of my worries seem to melt away through his fingers.
Not because the scars don’t still sear, but because in his world—they have no power.
I drop the chalice and it dings in a melodic tone on the rocks before rolling back towards my feet. I hold his face in my hands admiring the treasure in front of me.
“Andrea…” he whispers in the most perfect hushed song.
“Thank you Lir, but all these things, they don’t matter to me. Not like you, like you coming back matters to me. Not like your love matters to me.”
I wrap my arms around his shoulders and get into the moat with him.
I can feel my ties to the human world slipping away; things, objects, ownership.
Just learned concepts that controlled me, now being replaced with the very real, breathing, heart-beating man before me.
It is all eroding into the sea, worn from the cliff walls that surrounded my heart.