27. Chapter 27
Chapter 27
Brynn
T he smell of Colt calms me. I am currently trying to escape from my reality. Finding my father on the floor tonight was traumatic, to say the least. I need to call my therapist soon. I can't even begin to fathom how we are going to deal with this.
I close my eyes and hope that this is all just a bad dream. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly through my nose, trying to regulate my emotions. I am a tough girl; I am truly embarrassed that everyone saw me freak the fuck out. I don't want to be on the receiving end of looks of pity.
I lived my entire life here being pitied. The poor girl who didn't have a mother. The girl who acts like a boy. The girl who has to go to the school nurse to learn about her menstrual cycle. I hate being the object of anyone's pity or sympathy. I need to remember I am a bad-ass boss lady and get my shit together .
My world may be falling apart piece by piece, but I need to put on my mask and get shit done.
"Is that okay with you, B?" Blake asks, his tone soft.
Shit. I was too focused on my pep talk to pay attention to the conversation.
"Can you repeat that?" I ask as I sit up and take my head off Colt's shoulder.
"I asked if you want to go to the funeral home tomorrow or if you want the director to come to the ranch."
"The funeral home will be fine. I don't want a bunch of people coming in and out of the house when we have a busy ranch full of workers," I say as I run my palms down my thighs.
Blake nods, "Okay, I will call the director and set up a time to meet. Do you want some food or coffee?"
"I'm good." I pull my legs up under on my body. I look around the room and see Millie playing on her tablet, Callie stretched out on the floor beside her, scrolling on her phone. Brooks and Whitney are sitting in the recliner together, he is absently rubbing her back as she leans on him.
Everyone looks dazed. We are all totally lost right now. I stand abruptly, "I need to bake."
Whitney sits up instantly, "B, you should get some rest."
"No. I should bake. If we have guests, we won't have anything to offer them. I need to make some cookies, maybe some muffins. Oh, some banana bread, brownies." I continue making a list of things in my mind I can make and head into the kitchen.
I can hear the soft murmurs of my brothers and Whit. Probably talking about how they think I am going off the deep end. I need to either bake or work. Seeing as how it is late, I don't think my clients would appreciate me calling them.
I start opening the cabinets, looking for mixing bowls, muffin tins, and loaf pans. I walk into the pantry and start to pull out flour, sugar, oats, spices, peanut butter, cocoa powder. When my arms are full, I turn around and see Colt is standing right behind me, a worried look on his face.
"Don't." I move around him to exit the pantry.
He holds his hands up as he follows me into the kitchen. I start setting the ingredients on the counter as he watches me intently. "Why don't you-"
I cut him off, "Why don't you just leave me alone?"
"C'mon Firecracker, now is not the time to start baking." He puts his hands on mine to stop my movements. I turn to look at him and tears start to gather in my eyes.
"I need to do something. I can't just sit around and stare at my brothers. They are devastated," I sniff.
"I know; it's been a really hard day. Tomorrow will be tough, so you need to get some rest."
That reminds me; I snap my fingers. "I need to go make up the beds for Callie and Millie. "
"They are staying in the cottage tonight. Everything is ready. Momma Ann went and set up everything they needed."
"Okay." My shoulders drop. "Well, if you aren't going to let me bake, then I need to clean this back up."
His hands find the side of my face, "I'll do it. Go upstairs and get some sleep." He kisses my temple and starts to grab the ingredients to return them to the pantry.
"I don't think I can," I mumble as I stand there watching him.
"You don't think you can sleep?"
"I don't think I can sleep here. There's too. It's too much." I shake my head, fed up with how I am feeling.
"Okay," Colt says slowly. "How about you stay at the cottage tonight? You can just switch with Callie and Millie."
I wring my hands, "Are you sure they will be okay sleeping in the house tonight?"
"They will be fine. Is it okay if they sleep in your bed?"
"Yes, let me go change the sheets." I start to climb the stairs and head to the linen closet. Colt's hand comes out to grab my wrist.
"I can change the bed, go grab what you need for the night."
I nod and move up the stairs slowly and make a mental list of what I need. Honestly, I can brush my teeth and just crawl right into a bed. I go into my room and be sure my stuff is put away, so Callie and Millie won't have to worry about it being in their way.
Colt is not far behind me, "Callie says they can sleep here. Whatever you need." I nod my head and continue to pack my clothes in the duffle Whit brought.
"I think I have everything gathered up. I am now really sleepy. Can we go to the cottage?"
"Sure," he says as he looks me over. "Are you sure you don't want to go stay with Brooks or Blake?"
"No. They will just try to 'big brother' me, and I don't want that right now." I toss the duffle in the closet. "All set. I don't really need to take anything with me. I can sleep in this shirt and I'll be back here early in the morning."
"Alright, let's go then. Everyone downstairs is heading home to sleep. They will all be back in the morning," Colt says as he walks to the bedroom door. Callie is there waiting, "Need anything before we leave?"
"I think we are good. Blake is bringing our bags in from the car."
Blake appears in the doorway; I expect him to be carrying the bags, but he has Millie in his arms. She is asleep on his shoulder. "Which side do you want me to put her on?"
"This side is fine," Callie says as she moves the quilt back so Blake can lay Millie down. When he lays her down, he rubs a hand over her hair and pulls the blanket up around her shoulders.
"Thanks," Callie says as she looks to Blake, then to her sleeping little girl. "It's been a long day."
"We all need to get some sleep," Blake says and we all exit the room, leaving Callie and Millie alone.
"You guys go ahead and get some rest, I'm gonna get their bags and then I am heading home," Blake says as we meet him in the living room.
"Goodnight, guys. I will be back in the morning. Here for whatever you need," Whit says as she grabs me in a tight hug. "Love you, B."
I nod and put my shoes on. "I'm ready," I say to Colt, and he holds open the door for me. We make our way to the truck and head toward the cottage.