42. Chapter 42
Chapter 42
Colt
I can't sleep. My mind keeps playing over different scenarios in my mind. What if Brynn didn't have to go back to New York? What if she stayed here with me instead?
I know I can't keep her happy though, people always find a reason to leave me. I haven't had many relationships, but the few I had left me. They all left for the same reasons, I work too much or show them too little attention. I have never been one to want to go out on the town or to fancy dinners. The women I dated all wanted to be paraded around and shown off. I can't remember the last time I went to a nice restaurant for a meal.
Working on a ranch is not easy. It is long, grueling hours of back-breaking work. We work in all seasons, no matter what the temperature or weather is like. There are times when we have had to call it an early day due to mother nature, but those days are few and far between.
I flip my pillow to the cooler side and contemplate how I can be with Brynn. I know it was only a few days, but our connection was unlike anything I have ever experienced. The way my body reacted to her was not normal. I knew when she would walk into a room, before even seeing her with my own eyes.
It was like my body was attuned to seek her out. She was a beacon, shining brightly in my otherwise dull existence. She opened up to me, and I should have returned the favor. She made me feel comfortable in my own skin, and that hasn't happened since my mom passed away. She was the only woman to ever make me feel like I could be my true self.
I wish for anything that my momma was here right now to give me advice. She would probably tell me to get my head out of my ass and not be so guarded. She would say to man up and not lose out on what my heart craves.
Well, fuck me. Callie said basically the same thing.
I reach for my book on the nightstand and pull out my bookmark, except it is not my normal laminated drawing from Millie. This one is a pink note from Brynn.
'Don't be an asshole, Cowboy' is written in a mix of cursive and print. There is a heart and then Brynn's name. I wonder when she swapped out my bookmark. I flip it over and it says, 'Don't worry, Millie's bookmark is in the back of this book.'
I fucked up. I want her to come back. I need to prove to her I am worth staying in Cedar Creek. I lay down and hold the bookmark to my chest like an absolute pussy, but it's all I have .
I grab my cell phone and send her a quick text, hoping she will see it in the morning.
Colt: Thank you for my bookmark
I am not expecting a response, so I put my phone back down on the table and switch off the lamp. My phone buzzes and I almost knock it off the table trying to get to it fast enough.
Brynn: You're welcome. Can't sleep Cowboy?
Colt: Something like that.
The three dots pop up like she is typing, then they disappear. I stare at my phone intently hoping a message will come through.
Brynn: Why can't you sleep?
Because you aren't here. Because I miss you. Because I can't close my goddamn eyes without seeing your beautiful face.
Colt: It has been a long day. Found a sinkhole and lost a heifer because of it.
Brynn: That's awful. I'm sorry Colt. I know that makes for a hard day.
Colt: It has definitely been rough. How is New York ?
I want her to say it is awful and she is packing up her shit and moving back home to Cedar Creek.
Brynn: My condo is a total loss. Everything is ruined.
Colt: So you have had a shit day too.
Brynn: Yes. I have to call my insurance company in the morning and decide what to do.
Colt: Decide what?
Brynn: If I should stay and renovate
Colt: What's the other options?
Brynn: Take the payout and find another place. The property management company said they would buy it.
I want to tell her to take the payout and come back to the cottage. I want to tell her that there is a place for her here, with me.
Colt: Would you consider coming back to Cedar Creek?
I am waiting not-so-patiently for her answer. Watching my phone screen like it is going to give me the winning lottery numbers. Fuck, if she says yes it would be like winning the lottery.
Brynn: Maybe. I have been thinking about it.
Holy shit. Tread lightly, she spooks easily.
Colt: I am sure your brothers would love that. Whit too.
Brynn: What about you?
Colt: What do you mean?
Brynn: Would you like it if I came back?
Colt: Yes.
Welp, there it is. The truth is out. I would love for her to come back.
Brynn: How happy?
Colt: Honestly?
Brynn: Don't lie to me Cowboy.
Colt: I miss you.
Brynn: I miss you too.
Brynn: This is crazy right? We basically just met
Colt: Well you are crazy, so it is possible
Brynn: You are so funny.
Colt: I would be ecstatic if you came home to me.
Brynn: Even if that means you have to give up your horse?
Colt: I would only give up Honey to you.
I am trying to keep my cool, but I would be on cloud fucking nine if she comes back to stay.
Brynn: I need to talk to my insurance company in the morning. I'll let you know what they say.
Colt: Goodnight, Firecracker.
Brynn: Goodnight, Cowboy.
I lay back down and fall into a deep sleep.