Chapter 36
Vivian
After a long day, I take my time to unwind.
I sort through laundry, tidy up, and lose myself in the rhythm of it all.
Tonight, I gave myself the everything shower: hair mask, exfoliating, shaving—the works.
It was a much-needed pamper session, the kind that makes you feel like you’ve come back to yourself for a moment.
I sit on the porch, the evening air cool against my skin, and wait. I don’t mind the solitude-it’s become a part of me. But tonight, it feels different. I know he’s coming.
Miles. He sounded eager, like he needed to talk about something important. And the truth? I want him here.
Some nights, I’m fine being alone, but tonight? I can feel it in my bones that I need him.
Mindy’s off with Greg, and I’ve gotten used to her absence, but it’s different tonight. I don’t want to impose on her, especially with everything going on in my own life. It’s just me, the house, and the waiting.
And then the sound of an engine rumbles through the quiet. I look up just in time to see that familiar red truck pull into the driveway. My heart picks up pace, the anticipation hitting me like a wave.
He’s here.
I already know it’s him, but I can’t stop myself from looking—his tall figure, broad and solid, stepping out of the truck with that purposeful stride.
My pulse quickens.
He walks toward me, and before either of us has a chance to say anything, our mouths meet in a kiss, hot and instant, like we’ve both been holding our breath. His hands are in my hair, pulling me closer, and for a moment, nothing else exists. Just us.
I groan softly against him as the kiss deepens, his body pressed against mine, hard, familiar. The heat between us is undeniable. I pull back just a fraction, breathless, and look up at him, my heart still racing.
“Hey,” I say, trying to steady myself.
He looks down at me, his hands gentle as they caress my hair. His gaze is softer than I expect. “Hey.”
I can’t help but smile, the tension starting to break. We step inside together, and the shift in energy is palpable. It’s just us. No Riley, no Mindy, just the two of us in the quiet of my house. It’s unfamiliar and almost…intimate.
“Anything happen while I was gone?” I ask, my voice casual, but the nerves bubbling beneath it are there if you listen closely.
He shakes his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Nothing important, Bambi.”
We stand there for a moment, the low hum of Friends playing on the TV in the background, but the air between us is still thick. I need to know what’s going on in his head.
“So…what’s on your mind, Miles?” I ask softly, my voice quiet but eager.
He hesitates. There’s a shift in him, something uncertain in the way he looks around the room like he’s trying to find the right words. Slowly, he steps toward me again, his presence larger than ever, filling the space between us.
He looks at me, his expression shifting, a nervousness creeping into his features. “Viv…” He pauses, like he’s weighing every word. “I…” He struggles to spit it out, but I don’t say anything, I just wait. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”
My breath catches in my throat, and my heart skips a beat. The air around us seems to thicken, like time slows down.
I look at him, wide-eyed, feeling my chest tighten. He’s not joking. There’s no lightness in his voice. He’s serious. And the words hit me harder than I expected, because deep down I know I’m falling too.
But there’s more.
He reaches up to cup my face, his touch soft but firm, grounding me. “Look, you don’t have to say it back,” he says, his voice softer now, tinged with vulnerability. “I just needed you to know. I can’t hide it anymore.”
I swallow hard, trying to steady myself, but his words are so honest, so raw, that it’s hard not to be swept up in the rush of emotion. I hold his hands, looking at his lips, and then back into his eyes. The vulnerability in him is something I never expected, not from him.
“Miles…” I start, but the words get lost in the space between us.
Before I can finish, he kisses me again, his lips urgent, desperate, as if he’s afraid I’ll run from what he’s just said. And the truth is, I’m scared too. I’ve been hiding behind my own walls for so long, telling myself I wasn’t ready, telling myself that it wasn’t the right time.
But now, with him kissing me like this, the doubt starts to fade.
“Please don’t,” he whispers, his voice rough with need. “I can’t…I can’t pretend anymore. Not with you.”
I don’t speak.
Instead, I kiss him deeply, pulling him closer and without hesitation, he lifts me off the floor, wraps my leg around him and presses me against the living room wall.
His hands brace against the wall, holding me up as he deepens the kiss.
I bite his lip softly, teasing him just enough before pulling back slightly to look into his eyes and then I see the him.
The man who’s here, really here, with me.
He’s protective, caring, and somehow he’s become everything I didn’t know I needed.
Everything I didn’t know I’d ever want again.
We keep kissing, his hand moving down my body, finding my breast, squeezing it gently before pinching my nipple. I can’t hold back the moan that slips from me, my body reacting to the heat of his touch.
“Miles,” I breathe, my voice shaky, but full of longing.
“I need you, Vivian,” he murmurs, his voice thick with desire. “Please.”
There’s something about that plea, the way he’s asking, it makes something inside me snap. I need him too, more than I ever thought possible.
“Take me upstairs,” I whisper, the words coming out before I can second-guess myself.
He doesn’t hesitate. He carries me up the stairs, his grip tight on my thighs. I kiss his neck as we move, feeling the tension building between us. When we reach the bedroom, he lays me on the bed, his body above mine, and the rest of the world feels so far away.
This moment, it’s just us. And I know—I know—this is real.
I pull him on top of me and we move together, our rhythm slow but urgent-like we both already know how this ends. My hands find his belt, undoing it, but he stops me with a firm grip and a look that steals the air from my lungs.
“No,” he murmurs, voice low and commanding. “Open your legs, Viv.”
My breath hitches as he lowers himself down, his hands sliding my pajama shorts off with practiced ease. Then, with a wicked gleam in his eyes, he uses his mouth to remove my black lace panties, letting them drop to the floor.
His gaze locks with mine. “Fuck me. You’re soaked, Vivian.”
The rasp of my name in that tone. It undoes me.
Then his thumb finds my clit, applying just enough pressure to make my hips jolt. A moan escapes me, loud and uncontrollable.
“So fucking sexy,” he breathes, and then his mouth is on me, tongue sliding through my slick folds as his thumb keeps working that perfect rhythm.
I arch off the bed, one hand gripping the sheets, the other fisting his hair.
“That’s it, baby. Come in my mouth,” he murmurs, tongue plunging deeper, licking and teasing me until my legs tremble around his head. I’m so close—right there—and then he stops.
He lifts his hand and presses two fingers to my lips. “Taste yourself. Now.”
His eyes burn into mine. I do what he says, taking his fingers into my mouth, sucking them clean. Tasting myself for the first time.
“Atta girl,” he groans, before pulling me up for a kiss so filthy it makes my head spin.
Again, I reach for his jeans, his lips dragging down my neck, and I moan as I trail my fingers down his back, muscles taut under my touch.
I pull off his T-shirt, exposing the body that’s quickly become an obsession.
He peels my top off, my bare breasts on full display.
His mouth closes around one nipple, tongue flicking while he pinches the other.
“Fuck,” I gasp, hips rolling against him.
He stands up, eyes drinking me in like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. My legs fall open, wide and willing.
“You look so fucking beautiful like this, Vivian.”
And just like that, the shame I used to feel about my body—all the changes after Riley—disappears.
He sees me. All of me. And he wants me anyway.
He unbuckles his belt, pulls his boxers down, and his cock springs free. He’s thick and hard and every bit as devastating as I remember.
He climbs over me slowly, leaning in.
“You’re mine, Vivian.”
My breath catches.
Before I can respond, he pushes inside me—and I cry out.
We move together. Hot. Wild. Desperate.
I’m soaked and he fills me with ease.
“So fucking wet for me,” he groans against my neck, his thrusts slow but deliberate.
“Miles, I…” The words catch in my throat.
“You.”
Thrust.
“Are.”
Another thrust, deeper this time.
“Mine.”
I moan, louder now, falling apart under him.
“Tell me you’re mine, Vivian,” he pants, holding my gaze. “Please.”
“I’m…” My voice breaks as the orgasm rushes through me. “I’m yours, Miles.”
I unravel beneath him. I moan his name over and over until I feel him swell and spill inside me, his face buried in my neck as he groans through his release.
It’s raw. It’s everything.
But the second it’s over, it hits me like a gust of cold air through an open window.
Trevor.
Our house.
Our bed.
The memories that haven’t left. The ones that never will.
“Stop!” I cry, suddenly breathless.
Miles pulls out instantly, his concern immediate as I scramble for the blanket, covering myself.
“Viv?” he asks, chest still rising and falling. He looks as shaken as I feel.
“I’m sorry, I—Miles, this is wrong…”
The tears burn hot as they fill my eyes. I hold my head in my hands, trying to breathe.
“I’m a mom,” I whisper. “I have Riley to think about. And Trevor…Trevor used to hold me in this bed. He slept next to me here. This was our life—our family.”
I see him flinch at the mention of Trevor. At the brutal honesty of my words.
“This feels reckless and wrong, and I do feel something for you—god, I do—but then all these thoughts come crashing in. About Trevor. About what people would say. About what kind of mom that makes me…”
He nods, silently pulling on his boxers. Then he sits beside me, close enough for me to feel the tension radiating off him, but far enough to let me breathe.
“You’ve done everything right,” I say, eyes still wet. “You’ve been good to us. Riley looks at you like you’re important to her. That means something.” I sniff, shaking my head. “But I can’t give you what you want right now.”
He doesn’t interrupt.
“I need time.” Tears stream down my face. “I’m sorry.”
He nods again, walking toward me cautiously and leans in, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
“What I said…” he murmurs. “I’ve never told a woman I’m falling in love with her. I mean every damn word. If time’s what you need, take it.”
Then quietly, he gathers his clothes and leaves the room.
A few seconds later, I hear the front door close, followed by the low rumble of his engine fading into the night.
I sit there, frozen in place.
And I cry.
Because what started as something beautiful turned into something heavy.
Because I let him in—and I’m terrified I just pushed him away.