Chapter 19 Fiona
NINETEEN
FIONA
I hate this part. Not the men with muscles and hero complexes part—although, yes, that also makes me nervous in a very specific way that I will unpack later with a therapist and a bottle of wine.
I hate the waiting. The standing on solid ground while the people you care about walk into danger like it’s just another Tuesday.
The not knowing. The helplessness that crawls up your throat and sits there, heavy and sharp, like a stone you can’t swallow.
The meeting ends fast. Too fast. Plans snap into place. Routes. Entry points. Radio channels. The kind of talk that makes my skin prickle because it’s so calm. So practiced.
Chase moves like he’s already halfway out the door.
Focused. Controlled. Deadly in a way that doesn’t show in his face—only in the tension of his shoulders and the way his gaze keeps checking exits.
He catches my eye once. Just once. And in that look, I feel everything we didn’t get to finish saying.
I meant it.
I’m coming back.
You’re safe.
Then he’s gone, swallowed into a cluster of men grabbing gear and loading vehicles.
I stand on the porch of the clubhouse with Kayley, Harper, and Emma plus Aidan and Poppi on a blanket at our feet like tiny, oblivious bundles of cuteness.
Aidan grabs Poppi’s sock.
Poppi squeals.
Kayley laughs softly, but her eyes stay locked on the SUVs as they roll toward the main gate.
The engines growl. Tires crunch gravel. Radios chirp.
My chest tightens. “What do you do?” I blurt, the question escaping before I can stop it. “How do you… handle this?”
Kayley turns to me, her expression warm but steady—like she understands exactly what’s twisting me up. “We breathe,” she says simply. “We trust them. And we keep the home fires burning.”
“That sounds like something embroidered on a throw pillow,” I mutter.
Harper smiles. “We’d totally embroider it if we had the time.”
“I don’t have the trust part down yet,” I admit, hugging my arms around myself. “I’ve spent so long… waiting for people to fail me.”
Kayley’s gaze softens. “I get that.”
She shifts closer, voice gentle. “But these men? They’re different. They’ve trained for this. They’ve lived for this. And as much as I hate it… they’re good.”
Harper nods. “It’s what brought them here in the first place. They couldn’t stop protecting people, even when the world tried to break them.”
I watch the last SUV disappear past the trees. My stomach rolls. “And what if something happens?” My voice cracks. “What if—”
Kayley reaches out and squeezes my hand. “Then we handle it. Together. But we don’t borrow trouble. Not before it arrives.”
That sounds wise. And impossible.
I glance down at the babies. Poppi has rolled onto her side, face scrunched in concentration like she’s solving a difficult puzzle. Aidan is trying to eat the corner of a blanket.
Life just… keeps going. Even when the world is sharp.
I think about Chase in that kitchen this morning, flour everywhere, his hands warm on my face, his voice low and serious when he said he’d do anything for me.
If you want me to move home with you, I will.
The idea should make me happy. It does. But it also scares the hell out of me.
Because… do I even want to go back? Back to my “lame job” where my boss calls me kiddo.
Back to a town where the biggest excitement is a new Starbucks and everyone knows your business before you do.
Back to that apartment with the lock that never worked.
Back to a life that suddenly feels like a pair of shoes one size too small—technically wearable, but why would you do that to yourself?
I stare out at the mountain ridge, the compound tucked into it like a secret. Gavin’s here. My brother. My blood. The person I thought I’d lost to distance and duty, and yet he’s right here—running this place, building this life.
And Chase… Chase is here too. And my heart is—annoyingly, inconveniently—here.
I swallow hard. “Chase said something this morning.”
Kayley’s brows lift. “Oh?”
Harper’s smile turns knowing. “Ohhh.”
I glare at both of them. “Don’t ‘oh’ me. I’m fragile.”
Kayley grins. “We’re listening.”
I hesitate, then take a breath. “He said… after this, if I want to go home, he’d move with me.”
Harper’s eyes widen. “Clearly he’s obsessed. I love that for you.”
Kayley’s expression softens in that way that feels like a hug. “How did that make you feel?”
“Like I couldn’t breathe,” I admit. “In a good way. And a scary way.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “But I don’t know if I want to go back. And then I feel guilty because… that’s my life. I built it. I worked for it. And I’m supposed to want it.”
Harper smiles. “Supposed to is a lie people tell themselves when they’re afraid to want something better.”
I blink at her.
Kayley nods. “You’re allowed to change your mind.”
“Am I?” I ask quietly. “Because it feels like if I choose this—Timber Creek, Haven 7, Chase—I’m choosing a whole different version of me. A version that… doesn’t make sense on paper.”
Harper laughs. “Love never makes sense on paper. If it did, romance novels would be spreadsheets.”
I snort despite myself.
Kayley’s voice turns gentle. “You don’t have to decide today. You’re still in the middle of the storm.”
“But what if I want to stay?” I whisper. “What if I want the life I’m starting to imagine here?”
Harper’s gaze holds mine, steady and kind. “Then you stay.”
Kayley squeezes my hand again. “And if you want to try it, you try it. You don’t have to know the ending to choose the next step.”
I look down at the babies again, at the quiet warmth of this place, at the women beside me who feel like something I didn’t know I needed.
Found family. A phrase that always sounded cheesy—until you’re standing inside it.
My throat tightens. “I love him.” The confession falls out of me like it’s been waiting behind my teeth.
Harper’s eyes brighten. “Yep. There it is.”
Kayley’s smile turns soft. “I can tell.”
I blink hard, embarrassed and emotional all at once. “I didn’t want this. I mean—I did, but I didn’t plan it.”
Harper laughs. “Nobody plans love, Fiona. It’s like getting hit by a truck, but the truck has abs and smiles like you’re his whole world.”
I laugh too—wet and shaky—but it helps. It helps to say it out loud. It helps to let someone else hold it with me.
Kayley’s voice is quiet. “Then be wherever he is. That’s what I learned.” She looks out toward the trees where the SUVs vanished. “It’s scary, loving someone who runs toward danger. But it’s also… worth it. Because they love hard. They protect hard. And when they choose you, they don’t half-do it.”
I breathe in slowly. I think about Chase’s eyes on me in that kitchen. His voice against my forehead.
I’m all in.
I think about my brother being here—proof that maybe “home” isn’t one place. Maybe it’s the people who make you feel safe. Seen. Wanted.
I look at Harper, at Kayley, at Emma, and at the babies on the blanket like tiny anchors to a new life.
And I realize something that makes my heart ache in the best way. I don’t just want to survive this. I want the happiness. I want the love. I want the messy breakfasts and the warm nights and the found family and the mountains that hold secrets and safety in equal measure.
I want Chase. And I want to be brave enough to claim that. Even if the waiting is the worst part. Especially because it is.