Chapter 14
Jesse had tried to let Liberty go. He’d spent the last three days cooped up in the trailer with an angry Tay-Tay who wasn’t happy about coming back to a dinky trailer after getting a peek at what it was like to live in a big ranch house.
But Jesse had not wanted to test fate. So he’d stayed away from town. He’d stayed away from Cooper Springs. He’d stayed away from Holiday Ranch. He hadn’t called Liberty, texted her, and had even refused to read her text when he’d gotten it tonight.
Instead, he had played solitaire with an old deck of cards he found in a drawer. He lost every game until he realized the deck was missing the queen of hearts, the five of spades, and the two of diamonds. Then he tried entertaining Tay-Tay with the cat toy Mimi had given her. After disinfecting his scratches, he’d gone to bed.
In the dark with nothing to distract him, his phone had whispered to him.
Just read the text. You don’t have to answer it.
He’d read it and the jumbled mess of words had made him laugh . . . and worry. So he’d texted her back. When she didn’t answer, he called her. When she still didn’t answer, he’d called the Holiday Ranch and talked to Darla who had told him Liberty’s whereabouts. The thought of her being drunk at a bar with a bunch of horny cowboys had sent him running for his truck. Once he’d walked into the Hellhole and seen her in another man’s arms, his oath to stay away from her had completely dissolved.
All he’d felt was unmitigated jealousy and anger. How dare another man touch what was his?
Except she wasn’t his.
Liberty would never belong to any man. But that didn’t stop him from wishing she was . . . or from bringing her home when he knew it was a mistake.
Now here he stood in the bedroom of Corbin’s trailer looking down at the most beautiful woman he’d ever met in his life lying naked on the mattress and he didn’t regret reneging on his oath to stay away from her. Not for one second. He had told her that he needed her, but the ache he felt inside was so much more than need. She had become an all-consuming necessity. Like air and water.
All he could hope for was that if he glutted himself on her, the feeling would go away.
“Are you just going to stand there staring, cowboy?” she said in a husky voice that made him harder than he already was. Her eyes trailed over his naked body before they settled on his flagrant erection. “Or are you going to make good on your claim?”
“Oh, I’m going to give you that third orgasm, darlin’. But first I want to look my fill.” His gaze slid over every inch of her body from the tip of her toes that were surprisingly nail polish free to the ends of her hair that was spread out on his pillow like raven’s wings.
She wasn’t a curvy woman. Her breasts weren’t large or her hips full. And yet, she had a sex appeal that took his breath away. Maybe it was her long, lean legs that seemed to go on forever. Or her small breasts that rested on her rib cage like two perfect scoops of vanilla ice cream topped with plump ripe raspberries. Or the sweet spot shadowed by her toned thighs.
Most women he dated, shaved completely or had a thin strip of pubic hair. But Liberty wasn’t most women. Like a small black velvet gift box, neatly trimmed dark hair hid the treasure he desired most.
Unable to wait to open the gift a second longer, he knelt on the mattress and picked up her foot. He kissed the high arch and all five unpainted toes before he lowered it and spread her legs.
The sight of her glistening center took his breath away. He didn’t hesitate to lower his head. As he intimately kissed her with lips and tongue, he watched her face to gauge what she liked best. When he found the right tempo of tongue flicks, he gloried in the sight of her coming apart. She held nothing back. She cussed. She moaned. She gripped the sheets in tight fists. She tightened her thighs on his head as if she wasn’t ever going to let him go.
He would have gladly stayed there forever. But she finally came down from her orgasm and her eyes opened and her green-eyed gaze found him.
“Get inside me,” she whispered.
He followed her order. Once he had a condom on, he slipped inside her still-clenching sheath. Damn, it was a perfect fit. He had to count to twenty and breathe deeply to keep from coming right then and there.
Then she went and ruined his composure by hooking those long legs around his hips, tipping her pelvis, and taking him even deeper into her heavenly warmth.
“Jesse,” she said his name in a half moan half groan that dissolved the last of his restrain as a tidal wave of need and emotions consumed him.
There was no more holding back. No more hiding from the things this woman made him feel. She had stripped away his shield, leaving all his emotions completely exposed, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it.
“Damn you.” He thrust deep. “Damn you.”
She hooked her arms around his shoulders and met his next thrust with fire in her green eyes. “No, damn you, Jesse Cates. Damn you to hell and back.”
She took him to hell and back. She took him into a fiery inferno that burned right through his soul. When he thought he couldn’t take one second more, she pulled him out of the flames and thrust him straight into heaven.
As his orgasm hit, he chanted her name over and over again.
“Lib. Lib. Lib.”
He came back to earth to find her smiling up at him. “That’s my name, darlin’, don’t wear it out.”
For once, he didn’t have a clever retort. He was too blown away by what had just happened. He knew what sex was and this hadn’t been it. He didn’t know what it had been, but it hadn’t been sex. And once again, he was scared shitless.
Without saying a word, he got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. After disposing of the condom, he stood in front of the sink and stared at his reflection. His face was pale and his eyes terrified.
“I take it you’re not a cuddler after sex.”
He turned to see Liberty standing in the doorway completely dressed. He knew he should say something, but he didn’t know what. So he just shook his head.
She studied him with those intense green eyes for a long moment before she shrugged. “Me either. I need a ride back to my car.”
Once they were on their way back to the Hellhole, he tried to apologize for his weird behavior. “Look, Libby, I’m sorry. I’m not good at . . .” He let the sentence drift off because he didn’t know what this was. If it wasn’t casual sex, what was it?
She held up a hand. “You don’t have to apologize, Jesse. I’m a big girl who can handle a one-night stand.”
He should be happy she wasn’t making any demands or expecting more than he could give. Except he wasn’t happy. He felt angry and confused . . . and needy. One night hadn’t been enough to satisfy that need. He wanted more. He wanted more of her body and her mind and her challenges and her laughter. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to say it. All he could do was sit there like a pathetic fool and stare out the windshield.
When they got to the Hellhole, the parking lot was completely empty except for her SUV. He pulled next to it and then opened his door, intending to get out and go around to help her out. But she got out and was in her car before he could even make it around the front of his truck. She didn’t wave or look at him once as she pulled away.
“Dammit!” He hit the side of his truck with his fist. He didn’t care that it hurt like hell or left a dent. He hit it again and cussed a blue streak, but it didn’t ease the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He figured if he didn’t want to break his hand and ruin his truck, he needed to get a grip.
There was only one person who could soothe him when his emotions got to be too much.
He pulled out his cellphone. He didn’t even think about the time until he heard Shirlene’s groggy, concerned voice.
“Jesse, honey, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you injured? Sick? Speak to me, baby.”
“I’m fine, Shirl. I shouldn’t have called so late.”
“Nonsense. You can call me anytime day or night.”
“Like hell he can!” Billy’s muffled voice came through the receiver. “If he’s not sick, injured, or in jail, he needs to call at a decent hour.”
“Now, don’t you pay any attention to Billy, honey. You know the man gets grumpy if you wake him up. What’s going on?”
He lied. “I just needed to hear your voice.”
There was a long pause. “Well, that’s real sweet, sugar. It’s nice to hear your voice too. But since we just talked a few days ago, I’m thinking you calling doesn’t just have to do with hearing my voice. Did you get into it with Corbin? I tried to tell you to take it slow with him. He needs time to learn how to trust.”
“It’s not Corbin.”
“Then what?” She hesitated. “Is it a girl?” There was a hopeful note in her voice. Shirlene had been hoping he’d meet a girl for the last thirteen years.
He heaved a long sigh. “Yes.”
“It’s a girl!” Shirlene said in a voice that wasn’t even close to a whisper.
“Great,” Billy said. “Now tell him to call back when it isn’t two o’clock in the friggin’ morning.”
“Oh, hush up,” Shirlene said before she returned to Jesse. “So tell me all about her, honey.”
Jesse had never told Shirlene about the women he dated. Not only because he didn’t want her getting the wrong idea, but also because they hadn’t exactly been the type of women you brought home to Mama.
Not so with Liberty.
Once he started talking about her, he couldn’t seem to stop. He told Shirlene about her showing up at Cooper Springs and not being the least bit afraid of him. He told her about all their challenges—minus the seduction one—and how Liberty bested him most of the time. He told her about Liberty’s business and what a great businesswoman she was. He went on and on and on until he finally realized he was babbling and cut off.
“Sorry. I guess I got carried away.”
There was a distinct smile in Shirlene’s voice when she spoke. “That’s okay, baby. I’m a bit of a babbler too when I get excited about something. And it sounds like you’re excited about Liberty. I can understand why. She sounds like a lovely girl . . . and a lot like you.”
“That’s the problem.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t think she’s looking to get into a relationship. I’m not even sure I am.”
“Then why do you sound so upset?”
It was a good question. “I don’t know. We just had . . . this moment tonight. And after . . . well, I got scared and it ended badly and now I feel—”
“Like you lost something you didn’t want to lose?”
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Yeah.”
“Oh, Jesse, my sweet baby boy,” Shirlene said. “Showing your emotions has always come so hard for you. I get it. You’ve had a lot of heartache in your life and you’d just as soon not have any more. I think that’s why you don’t stick around in one place long enough to make close friends and have worked so hard to make Corbin love you. You don’t want to feel rejected again like when . . .” She let the sentence trail off.
He finished it for her. “My mama and daddy rejected me.”
“They didn’t reject you, Jesse. They just don’t know how to love. But you do. You have the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. You’ve opened it up to me and Billy and Adeline and Brody and Mia. To Corbin and I’m sure Sunny when she finally comes home. Now it’s time to open it up all the way. I don’t know what happened tonight between you and Liberty, but I’m sure you’re not blameless. Men do stupid things when they have feelings for someone. Billy can tell you all about that.”
“Hey now, sugar buns,” Billy said. “I thought I’ve made up for my stupidity.”
“It’s an ongoing process . . . Bubba.” When Shirlene used Billy’s nickname, he usually shut up and conceded the argument. “Now you need to find that girl and tell her how you feel, Jesse.”
“What if I don’t know how I feel?”
“I think you know how you feel. You wouldn’t have called me if you don’t have strong feelings for this girl.”
That was putting it mildly. His feelings for Liberty weren’t just strong. They were overpowering. Which brought him to his main concern. “I don’t want to get hurt, Mama. Or hurt her.” He could almost see the tears welling in Shirlene’s green eyes. She always cried when he called her Mama.
“Then take things slow, baby. Tell her that you really like her and you want to spend more time with her. Start there and see how things go.”
“And if they go somewhere I’m not sure I want to go?”
“You worry about that when you get there. One step at a time, my sweet boy—Billy, stop that. I thought you were tired.”
“I’m awake now.”
Jesse rolled his eyes. Billy had never been able to keep his hands off Shirlene. He loved her with a passion that all the women in Bramble envied. Jesse wished he could love like that too. But Billy’s blood didn’t run through his veins. His cheating daddy’s did.
“I’ll let y’all go,” he said. “Thank you, Shirl.”
“You don’t have to thank me, honey. That’s what mamas are for. Here, Billy wants to talk to you.”
Jesse figured he was going to get yelled at for calling so late. Instead, Billy surprised him. “Trust your heart, son. It will never steer you wrong. And even if you’re not wrong, say you are. Believe me, it just makes life easier.”
After Jesse hung up, he stood there in the parking lot for a long moment. Was Shirlene right? Should he tell Liberty how he felt and take it one step at a time? But what if she didn’t feel the same way? Maybe she had just viewed tonight as a one-night stand. But even if she hadn’t, she wouldn’t let Jesse know. Like him, she didn’t show her feelings easily. Especially her hurt. And having the person you just had sex with jump up like a scalded cat and race off to the bathroom without a word would be hurtful to anyone.
“Shit.” He jumped in his truck and peeled out of the parking lot. With no traffic on the highway, it didn’t take him long to get to the Holiday Ranch. Liberty’s car was parked in front and the house was completely dark when he got there. He should turn right around and come back at a decent hour.
He couldn’t. He needed to talk to Liberty and he needed to talk to her tonight. If he had to wake up the entire house, so be it. He just hoped her daddy didn’t shoot first and ask questions later.
But it turned out Jesse didn’t have to wake Hank Holiday. Before he could even knock on the door, Liberty stopped him.
“Just what the hell are you doing, Jesse Cates?”
He glanced over to see her sitting on the porch swing. She’d taken her boots off and her bare feet were resting on the edge of the swing, her arms wrapped around her legs as if she’d been giving them a hug. Her hair spilled around her like a moonlit waterfall. Once again, he found himself tongue tied with emotions.
“Hey.”
She released her legs and set her feet on the floor. “Answer the question. What are you doing here?”
He took a few steps closer. Her face was in shadow, but he could see the tensing of her body. “I’m here to apologize for being an insensitive idiot.”
“Like I told you, I don’t need an apology. I can handle a one-night stand.”
He hesitated for only a moment before he spoke. “Well, it seems that I can’t. At least, not a one-night stand with you.”
“And what does that mean?”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I don’t know what these feelings are I have for you, Libby. And that’s what’s making me so freaked out. You aren’t like any woman I’ve ever met. You challenge me and you make me laugh . . . and you drive me completely crazy.”
“So you came here to tell me that I drive you crazy?”
“Yes . . . no! Shit. I’m really messing this up. And that’s the crux of the problem. I’m usually this calm, collected man who has no problems figuring things out. But I can’t figure this”—he waved a hand between them—“out. All I know is that I want to be with you. Not because of a bet, but just because I like being with you. Which scares me shitless because I’ve never done this relationship stuff before. And I don’t even know if I can.”
“So you’re saying you want to have a relationship with me, but you aren’t sure you can have a relationship?”
Laid out like that, it sounded absolutely ridiculous. “You’re right. I’m an idiot. Who would want to get involved with someone who is as emotionally screwed up as I am?” He turned, but she jumped up from the swing.
“Is that a challenge, Jesse Cates?”
He turned back to her. “No challenge, Lib. The stakes are too high.”
“Shouldn’t the one taking the challenge be the one who decides if the stakes are too high?” She stepped out of the shadow of the porch and into the moonlight. Moonlight that reflected off the tear tracks glistening on her cheeks.
His heart squeezed. “Libby? You’ve been crying.”
She snorted. “Crying? Absolutely not. I was just cutting an onion. Like I said before, I’m not the type of woman who gets all weepy over a one-night stand.”
He moved closer and gently traced the tear tracks with his finger. “It wasn’t a one-night stand, Libby Lou. I think we both know that. But I don’t want to hurt you and I’m afraid I will.”
She hooked her arms around his shoulders. Her fingers sliding into the hair on the nape of his neck and causing need to pool in his gut. “You are so arrogant, Jesse Cates. Maybe I’ll hurt you.”
He was sure she would, but he couldn’t stop himself from taking the chance.