Chapter 13 Claire
Claire
Beau was here again. And while I desperately needed the help fixing the place up and was grateful for it, it also made me feel like he thought I was some charity case. And that’s the last way I wanted him to look at me.
He was up on a ladder, patching part of the roof where there was a leak.
He had already replaced the roofing, and I had watched with my heart in my throat as he walked across it thirty feet in the air.
I couldn’t let him get hurt on my watch, doing something for my ranch.
The ranch that was supposed to be his competition.
Neither one of us had brought it up in the five days since I kissed him. We hadn’t brought the kiss up at all since he visited Mama in the hospital either. But he was here when the ambulance brought her home two days ago; he even helped Emmett carry her inside.
I was conflicted. I needed this partnership to save my ranch, but it felt wrong to keep competing against the man who had been there for me so much during one of the worst times of my life. And I couldn’t have that on my conscience with everything else.
He had his own reasons for needing the partnership, his own point to prove to Mount. As much as I didn’t want him to win, I also did. I wanted him to get that closure with his father, to learn to believe in himself the way his siblings and I did.
Like I said, conflicted.
“I can feel you staring,” he said.
“I think you need to stop coming here,” I replied. I instantly regretted saying it, but it was out there now. No turning back.
Beau stopped working and lowered the nail gun slowly as he looked down at me. “What? Why?”
Ugh, I felt like crying. And I was so sick of crying. “Because it’s not fair to you.”
He climbed down the ladder, jumping off when only a few rungs were left. He looked…mad, very mad. His eyes narrowed, hands on his hips. “What about this isn’t fair to me?”
I waved my arms around the barn. “All of this. We have our final proposals for Cavendish due tomorrow, and you’ve been here every day working on your competition’s ranch instead of your own. How is that fair to you? To Joseph?”
“I’m a big boy, Claire, I know how to manage my time.”
“I know that, but—”
He walked towards me slowly. “But what? Do you not want me here?”
My back met a hay bale, the straws rough against my skin, but I stayed silent. The truth was stuck in my throat. I couldn’t tell him that I loved having him here. That watching him with my brother and mother melted me. That I was pretty sure I was falling for him. I couldn’t say any of it.
So I said, “No, I don’t.” It came out weak, pathetic, and so full of need, it made me sick.
His proximity alone was enough to turn me desperate for him.
But that was why he needed to go. We were too much of a distraction for one another.
It was dangerous when we both had so much at stake—me even more than him.
He scoffed, bracing a hand next to my head on the hay bale, trapping me. “You’re a terrible fucking liar.”
“It’s the truth,” I whispered, my eyes darting between his. They were dark, pupils blown wide with lust, likely mirroring mine.
“Yeah?” His voice was taunting and sexy enough that I let out a breathy whimper. His chuckle was low, teasing. “That little whimper says otherwise.”
My heart was pounding, my panties were soaked, and I was dying for him to touch me. “I mean it, Beau.” My voice was unrecognizable, desire-ridden and thick.
I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed roughly. His hand slid down my stomach, a ghost of a touch that sent more heat pooling between my legs. He stopped at my hips, his fingers working my belt slowly enough to give me the chance to tell him to stop. I never would.
“Tell me how much you don’t want me, then, while I show you how much I need you.”
I looked between us as he popped the button on my jeans and dragged the zipper down so slow I almost screamed at him to hurry up. “I don’t want you here,” I whispered shakily. “We’re competing against each other.”
“We are.” His voice was nothing more than a gruff rasp. “I guess that means I shouldn’t do this, then.” I gasped as his hand surged forward past the waistband of my panties, his fingers finding my clit instantly.
He let out a low groan. Something close to a growl. “Fuck, baby, you really don’t want me, huh?”
“No.” The word came out tangled with a moan. I gripped his arm as he began to move his fingers in quick circles that had me panting.
“Really? My soaked hand disagrees.”
I fisted his shirt in my hand and pulled him closer. His arrogant smirk was to die for, and so close that his every exhale was my inhale, imprinting him in every piece of me with every breath we shared. “Kiss me.”
“But I thought you didn’t want me?”
“Beau,” I whined in frustration.
His voice darkened. “Beg for it.” It was that authoritative tone that had me folding instantly.
“Please,” I begged. “Please, kiss me. I need—”
His mouth muffled our moans as he slipped two fingers inside me, his thumb on my clit.
Stars danced along my skin as he worked my body to perfection, like I belonged to him, and I may as well have with how good he felt inside me.
My jaw dropped, a string of whimpered cries leaving me when he hit that spot that nearly pushed me over the edge.
“Right there,” I groaned, my head falling back against the hay. He hit that spot over and over. It was relentless. It was everything I imagined and more.
“Show me how much you want me, baby. Let me hear it.” He yanked one side of my tank top and bra down. His tongue was hot and wet on my nipple, licking and sucking, until I shook against him.
“Fuck, I’m gonna”—I gasped—“Oh God, I’m gonna come.”
He groaned against my neck, pressing kisses along my skin, as I tightened around his fingers. “Yeah, that’s it. Give it to me.” His words only pushed me higher. Wave after wave of it slammed into me until I was trembling in his arms, chanting his name.
I could hardly stand by the time he pulled his hand out of my jeans, his fingers glistening. He brought them to his mouth, and I watched in a blissed-out daze as he sucked them clean. It might’ve been the hottest thing I’d ever seen.
Beau let out a contented hum, reaching for me again. His mouth was on mine before I could comprehend what was happening, and his kiss seared itself like a brand on my heart. “Such a good girl for me, baby.”
His husky whisper gave me chills, the praise unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Just like everything else that I had felt regarding him, and that terrified me.
My movements were slow and shaky as I straightened my clothes. Reality crept back in, turning this perfect moment into something sour. I was disappointed. Disgusted. Not with Beau, but with myself. I was only more attached now, more conflicted.
I sighed, shaking my head. “I shouldn’t have let you do that.”
“I’m certainly glad you did.”
My eyes pricked with the familiar burn of incoming tears at the happiness in his voice. “Don’t be,” I rasped, my voice broken.
“Claire?” He reached for me, confused.
I ripped my arm out of his grasp. “I can’t do this. I told you it was too much, and you didn’t…you didn’t listen,” I choked out and bolted. My truck whirred to life, and I sped off. His concerned face blurred with my tears in my rearview mirror.
The bell to the Wild Creek Diner rang over my head as I walked through the door. I beelined straight for Gran and Louise at their usual table.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Gran asked, worry thick in her voice when she saw me, tear-stained and lost.
I slumped over the table, burying my face in my folded arms. I couldn’t even say it out loud.
How could I explain to them that I was pretty sure I was in love with the man who could ruin my family’s legacy?
The man who could take away my dream as soon as tomorrow?
What kind of person did that make me? Mine, Emmett’s, and now Delilah’s livelihoods were at stake, and I was letting Beau work his way into my heart instead of figuring out how to beat him.
“This is bad,” Louise said when I didn’t answer. “We need a chocolate malt and fries over here. A lot of ‘em.” She had done the same thing when I caught my junior prom date with another girl. And then she helped my sisters and me egg his car.
“Thanks, Miss Louise,” I murmured, my voice muffled and weak. My throat grew impossibly tight, trying to shove all my emotions down.
When I couldn’t hold it anymore, I burst into tears. Right there in the fucking diner for everyone to see. I just couldn’t wait to see what the Whispers had to say about this tomorrow.
“I’m just so confused,” I whimpered.
Gran pulled me into her side, rubbing my back. “Oh, sweet pea. It’s okay.”
I sat up, wiping my face. “It’s not okay, though. Nothing about this is okay. I don’t know what to do.” This wasn’t me. I didn’t get torn up like this over men. I got shit done and took care of my family. But now it felt like I was failing them.
Louise handed me a napkin. “Tell us what’s goin’ on and we’ll figure it out.”
The fries and chocolate malt came, and I scooped some of the shake up with the fries and popped them into my mouth. “It’s Beau.”
“No shit,” Louise laughed. “Only a man could get a woman as strong as you so torn up.”
“He’s been coming to the ranch. A lot,” I said between sniffles and mouthfuls. “Helping me and Emmett fix things. He even came to the hospital to visit Mama.”
“Does he want an award or something?”
“Oh, Louise, hush!”
“That’s the confusing thing. He’s been so nice, so helpful, and I know y’all read the Whispers. I just feel so conflicted about it all. I’m supposed to hate him, to want to win this partnership out from under him, but—”
“But you don’t.” I looked at Gran, her green eyes like Dad’s, like mine. They saw everything.
I shook my head. The admission was both freeing and suffocating at once. Relief and discomfort combined.