Chapter 14 Beau #2
It was meaningless because I wasn’t proud of myself.
I was ashamed. Yes, I worked hard for this, but it wasn’t for the right reasons.
I didn’t have the passion or the skill for horses like Claire and Joseph did.
I think a part of me only did it to prove that I could, and that… it made me feel god-fucking-awful.
“Don’t be,” I muttered, eyes locked on the granite counter. I let out a shaky breath. “I’m talking to Joseph, and I’m rescinding the offer.”
Mount sat upright, frowning. “Now why the hell would you do that?”
“I don’t want it anymore.” I wasn’t sure that I ever wanted it. I certainly never wanted it the way Claire did. She deserved this; she earned it with her blood, sweat, and tears. Nothing and no one could convince me to change my mind.
“Don’t tell me you’re throwin’ this away for that girl.”
My hand curled into a fist on the counter, knuckles white. “That girl has a name, and you better treat her with some respect or things are gonna get real ugly real fast.”
My father just stared at me, cold and hard and long.
That contemptuous glare sent my blood boiling.
I was done cowering to him. Done chasing his coattails like some desperate kid begging for scraps.
Done trying to be him. I was never going to be enough for him, and I just didn’t have it in me to care anymore.
Mount narrowed his eyes at me from where he sat. “You think she’d do the same for you? Give this up if the tables were turned?”
“I’d never ask her to.”
He sucked his teeth, shaking his head. “And here I thought I finally made a man outta you. And you’re throwin’ it away for a girl—for Claire Hayes.” There was the Mount I knew.
“I love her, Dad,” I said through gritted teeth. I hated him even more when I realized that the first time I said it out loud was to him, not the person who deserved to hear it most.
“Those people were going to screw us over—”
“We didn’t even exist then!” I yelled, and his mouth snapped shut. Not once had I ever raised my voice at my father, but I refused to let him speak poorly about Claire when he didn’t even know her. All because of her last name.
“I’m telling you that I found the person I want to spend my life with, and you have to bring up that fucking merger again? Let it go!”
He slammed his fist on the arm of his recliner, face red.
“Now listen ‘ere, boy. I poured my soul into this ranch. Gave my life over to it just like every generation before me. It would’ve crumbled because of that merger, because of that family.” He flung a pointed finger at Golden Bridle.
“And now you wanna risk its future over some girl with a dying ranch just ‘cause she batted her lashes at you and let you up her skirt? That ain’t love, son, that’s gettin’ played, and you fell for it like the weak fool you always have been. ”
I saw red. The bottle flew from my hand and smashed against the cabinet, sending glass everywhere and beer dripping down the wood. “Get the fuck out of my house!” I roared, reaching my last straw.
I grabbed my keys off the counter, glass crunching under my boots, and stopped in front of his recliner, so livid my hand shook as I pointed at him.
“When I get back, you better be gone. I don’t want to see your sorry face for the rest of my goddamn life.
Not until you learn how to act like a decent fucking human being. ”
He chuckled, not believing me.
“I mean it, Dad. You’ve been calling me weak my whole life, and I believed you.
” I scoffed. “God, I believed you. I bent over backwards tryin’ to prove I was worth somethin’ to you; took on this partnership I didn’t even want to prove it.
But the truth is, I’m not the weak one. You are.
You’re lost in the past, so bitter and close-minded that you can’t see what’s in front of you.
Mama would be disgusted with what’s become of you.
Absolutely fucking disgusted. I know I am. ”
Mount flinched. A barely there twitch of his lip, but it was there. I didn’t give him a chance to respond beyond that and slammed the door shut so hard the frame shook.
Once in my truck, I let out a long, shaky breath. And then I beat the shit out of my steering wheel, screaming until my voice broke and my throat ached. It was cathartic, healing, and felt so damn good to let go of all the shit I carried because of my father.
I left Circle M and drove aimlessly for hours, trying to think of what to say to Joseph.
Everything I came up with felt insincere, relying on weak excuses for why it wasn’t a good idea for him to partner with me; I didn’t know horses, I didn’t understand the business, I didn’t have the connections.
But there was only one true excuse, one reason, I could’ve given him for why I’d give up an opportunity like this.
The only thing that had felt real in my life right now: love.
And it was the only reason I’d give him, and if he tore into me the way Mount did, then so be it.
So when Anna answered her door, her smile fell. “What happened?”
I stormed past her into her living room, the anger hitting me all over again, like salt in a wound. “You gotta go to my house and get Mount out. Today. Now.”
“Oh God. Why? What did he do?”
I sat on the couch, my elbows on my knees, with my hands steepled against my mouth. “I can’t be around him. I can’t take it anymore. The shit he said—God, I could fuckin’ kill him.”
Anna sat on the coffee table in front of me, and I took her hand in mine. “Just…please, Anna, I’m begging you. I’ll never ask you for another thing in my life if you just get that man out of my house. I don’t care where he goes. I just need him gone and out of my life.”
Her eyes searched mine, looking so confused and worried. But then she nodded, wrapping her other hand around mine. “Okay. Just tell me what happened, so I know what I’m walking into.”
“Where’s Joseph?”
She called for him, and with every step he got closer, my heart sank lower and lower. He would be devastated at best, and at worst, I’d end up with a black eye.
“There he is,” he beamed, and then he rounded the couch, and his smile fell. “What happened?” It was eerie how much alike they had become after a decade of being together.
“There’s something I gotta talk to you about.”
His eyes darted all over me. “What happened with the partnership?”
“Nothing…yet. I knew I needed to come talk to you first, but I can’t do it. I’m so sorry, Joseph. I know how much time and energy you’ve put into this, and I feel like utter shit for doin’ this to you, but I can’t go through with it. It’s not right.”
He placed his hands on his hips, face stern. Not hostile, but definitely defensive. “Why the hell not?”
“Because he’s in love with Claire,” Anna said without looking away from me, her eyes tearful, but not with sadness. “Aren’t you?”
My lips pulled into a thin line, and I nodded. “Yeah, I am. And I can’t take this away from her.” I looked up at Joseph. “I’m so sorry. I never planned for this to happen. It just kinda slapped me in the face.”
He let out an amused huff, smirking. “That’s how love usually works. Although I’ll say I saw this coming a mile away, so I’m not exactly surprised we’re here. Disappointed but not surprised.”
“Me neither,” Anna giggled. “Beau’s in loooooove,” she sang, waving my hands around, and I fought a smile. “Just make sure to thank me at the wedding, okay?”
I rolled my eyes. That was if I ever heard from Claire again. She might never forgive me for not answering her calls and texts; at the very least I’d catch shit for it.
“You’re doing the right thing, brother,” Joseph said sincerely, patting my shoulder. “It sucks, but it’ll work out how it’s supposed to.”
“Have you told her yet? Do you think she feels the same?”
“No. The first person I told was Mount, who then said I had been played and some other things that may or may not have had me throwin’ shit.”
She smirked. “I’ll send you my cleaning fee.” She looked over her shoulder at Joseph. “Oh, by the way, Daddy’s moving in today.”
He scratched the back of his head, grimacing. “Greaaaat. I’m so excited.”
I let out a long sigh, running my hands along my thighs. “I guess it’s time I call Cavendish.”
“You sure you want to go through with this? It can’t be undone,” Joseph said.
“Yeah. I’d never forgive myself if I continued on when my heart wasn’t in it. That’s not fair to you—or Claire.”
He grinned. “Who knew you’d turn out to be such a sap?”
I looked down at my lap, laughing. “Not me, that’s for damn sure.”
The call went about as I expected. They were shocked, tried to change my mind, and offered different incentives, but I rejected them all.
“Listen, I know you’re blindsided, but you want your company to thrive? Then you need Claire Hayes and Golden Bridle. I know it’s small and not what you had planned for this expansion, but she has more drive than anyone I’ve ever met, and not choosing her would be a massive mistake.”
“Well, thank you for your time, and we’ll take your advice into consideration. You’ve left us with a lot to think about,” Trent said.
Once I hung up, I felt a weight lift. Free for the first time in my life. I wasn’t chasing after an expectation. I wasn’t trying to prove myself. I wasn’t looking for anyone’s approval. I was just living for myself. Completely limitless.
Now all I had to do was wait for Claire.