Chapter 13
Indie
my sacrifice - creed
Present Day
Stuffing my hands into my pockets, I roll back on my feet, hearing her footsteps grow louder from outside her room. “Hey,” I say as soon as the door to her room opens, showing Jenna in her matching, but extremely oversized leggings and hoodie.
I make a mental note to see if Dawson can order her something that actually fits.
“Hi.” She smiles, and this time, it looks a little less forced.
Stepping into her room, I drop down on the couch, emptying my pockets of the hidden protein bars we’ve been stocking for her.
The guys are onto us, well not Regina and I particularly, just that there’s a thief ransacking the good shit. “How you feeling today?” I ask, watching her sit on the bed, crossing her legs.
“The nightmares are still intense, hence the eyebags.” She drags her fingers down her cheek, sighing.
“Yeah, they’re the hardest to shake off.” They’ll never completely go.
Even though my ordeal happened once, it’s traumatic enough to last a lifetime. Jenna had to go through it repeatedly for six years.
Quite frankly, I have no idea how she’s still standing.
“Is Gina back yet?”
“She should be back in the morning. That’s what I was coming to speak to you about actually. I’m headed to my…sister’s, with Saint.”
We stare at each other for a beat. The room temperature plummets, nothing to do with the snow fluttering away beyond the window.
Jenna’s eyes soften when she takes me in, her gaze travelling my face. A silent understanding passing through. “When did you find out?” she asks.
“I saw her on stage.”
Those dark brows pinch together. “Oh, Indigo.”
She gets up from her spot, coming to sit herself beside me.
The walls of my throat feel like they’re thickening. “It’s been a weird couple of weeks to say the least.”
She holds out her arms, and I huff a laugh, leaning into her. Give it to Jenna, who’s been through hell and back, to still find it within herself to give someone else comfort.
Tears well in my eyes even further.
She jerks back, looking down at me. “Wait…if you know, why are you going to see her?”
“I need her to think everything is normal, but I think she already knows. We’re both playing against each other.” I feel that new familiar feeling dropping in the pit of my stomach when I think of my sister.
I have a role to play, a mask to wear. And fuck, do I wish I took acting classes during school.
Jenna’s voice is laced with alarm, the pitch heightening. “Do you know what you’re doing?”
I’ve no idea what I’m getting into.
Saint’s people have successfully managed to infiltrate the forest behind their home, noting nothing of concern, or any security walking the perimeter.
That doesn’t mean things will change tomorrow.
“We have half of Ultio coming with us, they have a skeletal crew here to hold the fort, plus Gina and Dawson will wait it out here with their group.”
She bobs her head, and I can see the cogs working. She’s still trying to get over the information we’ve already come to terms with.
Granted, if the Omnia hadn’t injected themselves into our lives the way they did, our reactions would be a hell of a lot different.
“What are your plans?” she asks.
“Saint wants to see if they’ll make a move first, or whether everyone’s going to play dumb at this meal. Him and Rex plan to take Barry out once Malcolm gets here then move in on the others.”
Saint’s been learning their routines all week. The Montgomerys have been watched for years; my sister and Barry are pretty unpredictable.
And the Chief? His seemed to have proved the most reliant routine.
He’s always at the station, or at home, or in seedy hotels all around the state. No spouse, children, or friends. Just a lonely, sad existence.
It’s the least he deserves in my opinion.
“What are you doing about Louisa?” she asks.
Even the sound of her name feels like someone’s sticking their finger in an unhealed wound. The closer this dinner gets, the more painful it gets.
“She’s already dead to me. I’ll just make sure my feelings match her living status.” My fingers twist together as I glance down at them.
I might kill off members of this society without a second thought, but knowing my own flesh and blood is weaved in with them? It’s had my thoughts and decisions scattering like a packet of cards.
The anger has dulled to a low, painful hum, and clarity often tries to come through.
But my sister knows exactly what she’s done, what she’s continuing to do.
She’s playing me like a fucking fool.
“You should kidnap her and make sure you get the truth out of her.”
I bark a laugh at her, and she flashes me a smile. I lean up to look at her, her small dimples showing, causing my heart to twist, seeing them after all this time. “And here I was, tiptoeing around all the awful things we’ve done.”
Regina and I have tried to keep the blood and gore to a minimum, not wanting to overwhelm her. Jenna hikes a shoulder up. “I’ve survived quite the dose of horrors so far, at least we’re all morally questionable together.”
I shake my head, glancing at the ground. It’s a sad truth.
Our lives have all been altered by this society, and not for the better. It seems the only positive we’ve gained is dark humour.
Jenna’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Are you going to be the one who? You know.”
Kills her.
She wants to know if I’m going to be the one that kills my sister.
“It has to be me,” I admit, feeling the coldness spread through my veins.
All I’ve known these last six years is seeking vengeance; it’s skipped past that night of the event. Now I just feel an unrelenting wrath slowly burning within me.
I don’t think I’ll ever find the right words that pinpoint just how much this betrayal seeps into me. And I don’t know how it’ll affect me once I do, but anything is better than living with knowing she believes she’s gotten away with what she has.
My soul is already darkened; what’s another shade at this point?
“You do what you have to, Indie. I’m with you. I hope I get the same strength you have to come back at those who fucked with me.”
I sigh, softening my features. “You will, you’re still in the early stages of recovery, Jenna. And when the time comes, and you want to join? Gina and I will be there. If you don’t? There’s not a burden I wouldn’t bear for either of you. Trust me on that.”
She gives me a smile, glancing down at our joined hands. “Despite everything that’s happened, I really am the luckiest girl to have friends like you. It actually feels like an understatement.”
I smile at her, giving her a hug.
“I’ll let you know as soon as I’m back. Have you got a cell phone yet?” I ask, rising from the couch when she releases me.
“I think it’s been ordered, just waiting for it to come.”
“Good, well the doctor has Saint’s number. We can put Gina’s and mine in it. I’ll write them down just in case.”
Jenna gets up and rips a piece of paper out of what seems like a diary, handing me the sheet and a pen.
Once I’m done, I head towards the door, but come to a stop, my hand frozen over the doorknob at the sound of her childlike voice.
“I’ve had to live with the regret of pushing you and Gina to come to that party. If I didn’t…If we had…”
I whip round so fast my hair smacks me in the face. “Hey,” I gasp, walking towards her and kneeling down before her, “none of what happened was your fault, Jenna. None of us were to know.”
She sniffs, her dark eyes glistening against the whitening of the snow beating against the window.
“I know, but it doesn’t change the weight of it, does it?”
Fuck, do I know it. I’ve danced with the ‘what ifs’ for six years in my own waltz. It doesn’t change anything; it just eats you alive.
She has enough on her plate without letting this drown her.
“It should, because neither of us have ever thought like that. We’re only glad to have you back where you belong.” A lazy smile tugs at my cheeks. “It’s been fucking boring without you.”
Her laugh is sad, and it scrapes against my heart.
I don’t want Jenna to live like this.
I, out of anyone, know what it’s like to hold on to these regrets, what they do to your mind.
“Yeah, right. I’m sure you two have gotten on just fine without me.”
“Nothing felt right without our girl.” I squeeze her hand.
She shakes her head, wiping the tears away with the back of her sleeve. “Stay safe, please.”
Gripping her to me again, I hug her just as hard as I did the first time she woke up, and whisper against her hair, “Always.”