Chapter 14
Aella
Almost two full days had passed since we brought Darrow back.
I barely slept while watching over him, and when I took a break, I was either training with the Andalagar or spending a little time with Rynn.
We tried to eat breakfast and dinner together.
She kept busy healing wounds during the afternoons when the mock battles turned especially fierce.
Though Prince Armin had already proven motivated to join the fun, the other royals were doing it as well.
I stood observing the after-dinner practice as Princess Lillian and her daughter, Hadrien, worked to keep their shields up while protecting a group of older children.
In front of them, Lord Jacthor and his Frostdar fought back against the Andalagar warriors, trying to overcome them.
The battle was so fierce that half of each side was bloody already.
Tamasine stood next to me. “Once they break the shield, it’s your turn.”
“I’ve got it,” I said, well aware of my role for this exercise. During the day, I focused on improving my physical fighting strategies, using only a little magic to help. In the evenings, they encouraged me to use a lot more power.
Over the line of Frostdar heads, the Andalagar were striking the princess’ shield with arrows, axes, and other projectiles. They were all spelled to have greater force than usual. The sweat beading on Lillian and Hadrien’s brows was a testament to how hard they worked to keep the barrier stable.
I’d never seen a more brutal mock battle than tonight. One by one, warriors from both sides were being dragged to the healer’s tent after sustaining significant injuries. Anyone who could still stand had to keep fighting.
After fifteen minutes, the shield broke.
I gathered my power, letting it surge within me until I could hardly contain the build of raw energy.
Then, I directed a gust of wind so fierce toward the Andalagar that it swept all of them off their feet and sent them flying across the training field.
Groans and grunts chorused from the pile of men and women I’d created as they tried to untangle from each other.
“Sorry.” I grimaced. “I hadn’t meant to stack them together like that.”
At least this time, my wind hadn’t touched the Frostdar, who remained standing, though now they had grins on their faces.
Several of them gave me respectful nods.
Last night, I’d sent half of them careening toward the shed, which required repairs afterward.
They were undoubtedly happy to have escaped that fate again.
Tamasine laughed. “It’s fine. In a real battle, that would be exactly what we’d want you to do. It makes finishing the enemy easier.”
She had a point.
I caught sight of Rynn stepping out of the tent, her ivory skin flush from exertion, and her auburn hair pulled back in a loose bun.
She wore a drab brown dress someone had loaned her that was covered in blood.
Was I a terrible guardian for exposing a twelve-year-old to such horrors?
The only consolation I had was that she wanted to do it, so at least I wasn’t forcing her. I’d never do that.
She moved to a table with a pitcher of water and cups, poured herself a drink, and gulped it down. When she turned and saw me, she waved. A smile crossed her face. It told me all I needed to know. She enjoyed what she was doing and liked that it gave her a sense of purpose.
As Rynn went back inside to return to work, Tamasine looked at me. “It’s a small miracle that the two of you turned out as well as you did with your family.”
“We had good parents before we lost them, so that helped,” I said.
The Andalagar woman’s brows drew together. “I can’t say I knew all of them to agree, but everyone certainly thought highly of your mother.”
Except for my uncle, I’d never heard anyone say a bad word about Nerine.
Mom had been my sister’s and my shining example for how to behave and live life.
Oh, sure, she had times where she became overly distracted with projects, but she never failed to make us feel loved.
Even after more than twenty years, I still missed her warm hugs and kind words.
“Are we done for the night?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.
Tamasine nodded. “Yes, go see to your husband.”
I didn’t linger a moment longer, knowing the Andalagar woman would settle Rynn in her spare room for the night again. It took about ten minutes to reach my cabin from the training field. A soft glow backlit the curtains, but no sounds of a struggle came from the place.
Loden sat in a chair by the bed, stress lining his features. His short brown hair desperately needed a combing. He also had a shadow of a beard growing across his warm ivory skin. I still didn’t know him well, but he’d always appeared well-groomed when I’d seen him in the past.
“Go eat and sleep,” I urged, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll look after him now.”
He rubbed his face. “This is more than twice as long as ever before, and a thousand times worse. He’s saved me so many times while I can’t do anything for him now.”
“You really care about him, don’t you?”
None of the men in my family had ever inspired this level of concern from their friends. Jax and Loden especially had a hard time leaving Darrow for long. I’d had to put my foot down, insisting we rotate every few hours.
“I was bullied a lot when I was a kid,” he admitted, drawing in a haggard breath. “The first time Dare saw the other kids pushing me around, harassing me for being half druid, he beat the hell out of them. He said if they touched me again, he’d kill them.”
Many people still viewed the native races of Paxia as inferior to the fae.
A smile quirked my lips at the thought of a young Darrow defending someone with a similar lineage to me. “Do you think he would have?”
“He did stab one of them in the heart when they ignored his warning, so yeah,” Loden replied, shaking his head.
I wanted to be appalled, but a part of me appreciated that he’d gone to those lengths for a boy who was considered low-born.
Both my parents, being strong magic wielders of high status, had given me that one advantage, which kept me from receiving the same harassment. “It’s hard to believe Dare can’t love.”
“He still could when I met him. I think he tries to keep all of us close who he once felt affection for, so that he doesn’t forget it entirely,” Loden mused, staring down at the groaning and trembling man on the bed.
I sighed. “Maybe, but he can still be cold and ruthless.”
Anytime I began to soften toward him, I reminded myself of that.
Hearing the good things he’d done in his life would eventually result in heartache if I wasn’t careful.
Seeing him vulnerable like this didn’t help, either.
I hated that he had to endure it, especially since I could relate to it on some level.
We weren’t as different as I wanted to believe.
Loden frowned as a fresh cut appeared across Darrow’s chest. “I think he dreams about his winters in Karganoth. It lines up with the wounds he’s had and some words he’s mumbled, though he hardly talks about what happened there while awake.
I’ve had to get him quite drunk just to hear a few vague details. ”
“I don’t know anything at all,” I admitted as I cleaned my husband’s chest as each slice developed across his tan skin. They were in exactly the same places as his scars.
“Maybe he’ll tell you when he’s ready,” Loden said, standing and stretching. “It would help if you’d complete the mating bond.”
I scowled at him as I dumped the bloody rag in the bowl. “Don’t tell me Jhene has been in here filling your head with her theories, too.”
“She has.” He met my gaze. “Dare has done all he can from his end, so it’s up to you for the rest.”
“I refuse to fall in love with someone who can’t love me back.” I grabbed the bowl and rag to clean them in the kitchen sink. “Forget it.”
Loden didn’t respond, simply leaving the cabin and shutting the door firmly behind him.
I returned with fresh water and took the abandoned chair.
No more new wounds had appeared. I was also relieved that the latest ones had already stopped bleeding, so I didn’t need to clean them again.
It was a good time to change the bedding and his clothes while he was in a lull and only muttering unintelligible words to himself.
I managed it quickly now that I’d had a lot of practice.
After tossing the dirty items into a bag I left outside the front door, I washed up and changed into a nightgown before returning to bed.
It was so quiet in the room that my exhaustion pulled at me, and my eyelids felt heavy.
I extinguished all the lamps except one that I kept on a low setting on the dining table.
Wanting to give Darrow a break from his nightmares, I climbed into the bed with him, wrapped an arm around his waist, and nestled my head into the crook of his shoulder.
His face took on a peaceful expression. Something deep within me stirred at being this close to him.
Whether I liked it or not, it felt right when I lay with him like this.
I’d been doing my best not to miss him or think of him too much these last days, but even in his tortured state, I felt better at his side.
As if he held a piece of me I didn’t know existed, yet needed it to be whole.
I desperately wanted him to wake up and annoy me again.
His lying in bed, vulnerable, tore at me.
Despite wanting to watch over him closely, I fell into a deep sleep.