Chapter 20 #2
“I’m sorry, my queen,” Axel said, reading the torment on my face. “If it is any consolation, our understanding of the timeline is that he had escaped a few days ago and we did not have eyes on him until recently. Perhaps he could have had others accompanying him before we caught sight of him.”
Kayn might have helped them escape and stashed them somewhere, like the ruins of the old temple. My mother had once taken refuge in the Hall of the Gods.
“So he was definitely alone?” Drak asked again, his gaze slicing to me. Concern softened the edges of his chilly eyes.
“Yes, my king.”
“Now use some of your spies to locate Soren,” Drak said. “And if they don’t before I return, you have my word that I’ll repay you for everything and use the foresight to find him.” With a slap against Axel’s back, Drak thanked him and tilted his head. “Lux, come.”
That was it. We left Axel and Sif at the threshold of the arched entryway and pressed onward. Equipped with fresh blood donated from one of the humans at court, Drak would keep his energy up whenever mine waned. I’d keep my strength with regular rest and plenty of meat and water.
As we walked, I inquired about Soren, but when Drak only shared that he was a relation of Axel’s that he’d lost track of years ago, I turned my attention to the path ahead.
From this height, we glimpsed the dull, unnatural clouds hanging over the wasteland. But once we descended the peak Mara’s Keep rested on, the thick tree cover blocked our view. It didn’t matter. Soon we would cross that threshold too.
I’d never been to the wasteland, but the skin on my neck and shoulders already prickled at the thought of navigating through toxic fog.
What would Yggdrasil look like? Drak had said it sat at a peak, like Mara’s Keep. Did its branches stretch above the sickly clouds? How fast would it burn in that environment? Too fast for me to stop it if Silver sparked a flame?
If it became ash before I killed her army, I would have failed not only my mother and Stasia but also the Gods I worshiped.
Odin, the Allfather who created us. Freya, mother of love and death and fertility.
And all the girls in the villages across Vylheim who dreamed of simple lives weaving and gathering.
Many of them caught glimpses of what it would be like to train as a warrior and shield-maiden now that the bloodshed law withered with the collapse of The Blood Council.
Perhaps they’d learn to fight, and we could expand beyond Vylheim to find better soil and safer land from the storms.
Now that vampires were exposed, so many possibilities emerged—if only I succeeded and saved Yggdrasil.
The heat of Drak’s gaze burned through the images in my mind. “What is it?” I asked as I eyed him. The forest welcomed us with deeper shadows.
Drak hefted the heavy pack higher on his shoulders. “I want to know what you’re obsessing over.” His lips split into a sardonic smile. “I would know if it were me consuming your thoughts because I’d be able to hear it. And I’m greedy—”
“Jealous, I’d say.” I returned a flash of the grin he gave me.
“Yes, I’m fucking jealous of whatever you can’t stop thinking about. So, tell me.”
I lifted my chin to the thin stream of light filtering in through the branches overhead. “What if we don’t make it?” His eyes narrowed. “What if Silver destroys the tree?”
“Then she can’t stake me,” he said with another mischievous grin.
I huffed and rolled my eyes. “Sure, but you can’t reach Godhood either.”
At that, his eyes darkened. “We’ll make it. Silver’s only guessing at its location, and I’ve been there before. Besides, once we catch up with them, you’ll gut half her company. How likely is she to get away from us again?”
“She can compel multiple vampires at once, so I’d say it's possible.”
“You need a little hope.”
“Like some ridiculous dream that we were both warriors in a past life, destined to fight and fuck and love once we found each other in the next life?”
Drak ran his tongue along his exposed fangs. Clearly, that had made him mad, since his fangs only emerged when he was starving, aroused, or furious.
Ripping his gaze from me, he fixed his eyes on the path ahead. He barely breathed, even though his usual rhythm was always steady, a simple habit that rarely wavered. Perhaps he wasn’t as angry as he was…disappointed?
I squinted at him, catching dim glimpses of his face in the slices of moonlight that broke through the forest. Did he truly believe that he was Myrah’s lover, and that I was…her?
While we ducked branches and climbed the slight ascent toward the wasteland, I mulled this over for the next few hours.
I was probably the closest she'd ever come to being reborn, inheriting her abilities while Silver took on her learned skills after creating the first vampire. Witches shared many powers, but that didn’t make us the same person.
Still, I’d had the urge to call him by a name I’d never used before.
Drak stopped abruptly, and I blinked at the cloud before me.
The forest gradually transformed from tall, sturdy trees with lush leaves to thinner trees with darker wood, burned and leaf-bare.
Further out, only stumps remained, and the earth was no longer covered in leaves, moss, or life, but cracked like splintered logs.
Black veins snaked through the reddish-brown soil, and further still, the dirt held the crimson stain of our ancestors’ blood.
Thick fog, gray and brown, and tinted red in places, carried spots of black. My stomach churned, and the throbbing in my head expanded.
This was the last step from the forest of Mara to the wasteland. Once we entered, our survival became uncertain. Drak was moving closer to the tree that held the only wood capable of destroying him, and I was risking the land our ancestors had fled after it claimed so many of their loved ones.
Nervous tension pressed against the walls of my mind, threatening to collapse them as scattered thoughts slipped through the cracks.
Worthless failure.
Just turn around, you’ll never beat her there, you’re too weak.
“If you don’t listen to me, you will fail. Kill him, wild little weapon.” Odin’s voice was shrill, unsteady, grating at my raw nerves.
I need him to show me the way.
“Then swear on your life, your mother’s life, and every life, that you will do what needs to be done once you glimpse Yggdrasil, or I’ll meet you there, beneath the tree, and make sure you suffer.”
You would threaten me? My heart hurt when Odin didn’t respond, but in his defense, I’d been listening to him less and less…
I gnawed at the inside of my cheek, biting down hard as I tried to give him the promise he wanted. I couldn’t swear on their lives as much as I couldn’t imagine killing Drak now. The ice cracking inside my skull confirmed Odin’s disappointment, anger, or perhaps even hatred.
Whatever it was, I shuddered.
Drak took my hand in his. “Lux, look at me.” Peeling my eyes from the black specks, I met his gaze.
“Whatever shit you’re thinking about yourself, or whatever poison the Gods are feeding you, isn’t true.
You’re just afraid, and you fucking should be.
There’s no shame in it. Fear tells lies because it wants to keep you alive. ”
“And shouldn’t I want to stay alive?”
His eyes narrowed with a thoughtful look. “You know you’re meant for more than merely surviving. That’s one of the many things I’ve always found fascinating about you. You take control.”
I scoffed. “You can’t control everything, and I don’t care to.”
“That’s not what I mean. You don’t listen to me. So don’t listen to the lies in your head either.”
My body failed me often, but that didn’t mean I was weak, and even if I was one of the slowest at the footraces, I loved running.
I loved the challenge. I loved the witches and Skaldir and my mother more.
For once, Odin’s disappointment didn’t curdle in my gut and cling to the recesses of my mind. Somehow, I blocked him out.
Perhaps I could care for Drak, and refuse to hurt him, while also refusing to summon Odin. They could both exist, right? Hel, I hoped so because when Drak looked at me with softness warming his icy gaze, my heart skipped.
He placed his foot on the cracked earth, crossing the threshold into the wasteland. Dust puffed around his black boot, leaving a hint of red.
Reaching out, he offered to guide me beyond Vylheim for the first time in my life. A strange smile tugged at my lips as I took Drak’s hand. He was right here with me. Even if he had his own twisted goal, right now it seemed he saw nothing else, cared for nothing else. He was only looking at me.
The pride in his eyes swelled in my heart, and I thought, perhaps I loved Drak, too.
With that thought curling in my mind, Odin’s anger surged. All the effort I’d made to calm my nerves and the peace I’d felt with Drak by my side withered away. I felt naked and exposed to the elements of fear and frustration.
“Monsters don’t know love.”