Chapter 39
Lux
Where is your fire?
A voice echoed in my head, though it didn’t belong to Loki or Freya, and it certainly didn’t sound like Odin. Show me your fury.
“Drak?” I whispered before opening my eyes. When I did, I was only met with the sting of smoke. Of course he wasn’t here. The words were only echoes of my own memories, pieces of this lifetime that’d been stolen away from us. Are you not angry at the injustice of it all?
Which injustice? The gods taking my mind captive? That Drak and I had spent so long apart, unable to remember that we had returned to this realm for each other? Or that Silver had won and would finally take the one throne of Vylheim?
What about Kayn’s final betrayal? I almost pitied him for what his desperation pushed him to do. We shared a connection, however small, and though his choices were terrible, his death added a feather to the weight pushing me into the ash-covered ground.
Perhaps the injustice was that I’d fought this hard and this long to stop my mother from being sent to certain death at sea, and even if it wasn’t as dangerous without Thor’s storms, I had failed.
Despite failing Drak as well, his voice continued to trouble me, breaking through my numbness and stopping me from giving up.
Curling tighter within myself, my instinct was to block the words.
But this wasn’t from the gods, and Drak wasn’t here to infiltrate my mind.
These were my thoughts, coming from a buried memory of the moment he’d stopped my execution.
He’d stepped in because he saw something in me that led me all the way here, scrunched into a pathetic ball beneath a burning tree.
He’d saved my life, and yet here I was, wanting to throw it away.
Rage welled up inside me, scorching my throat. My sister, the gods, and my own desperation took everything I had fought for.
I was alone again, but not unchanged. Drak gave me the truth until the end, and he gave another chance at life—again. The memory of his voice was clear and firm in my mind. My memory was all I had left, and it would not quiet.
You’re the only part of this world I’m connected to, Lux. He’d been right. My desperation to find him again created vampires, and in this lifetime, he became one whose soul was stripped away. But he was still connected to me because it was from my own power that vampires existed at all.
And a Valkyrie’s power was tied to Odin’s power, the power of creation. Could I really restore a soul? The answer felt just out of reach, like it lingered at the edge of my mind. And what had Silver said about a vampire’s soul according to Brynhild’s interpretation?
The words suddenly came to my lips as if I were reading them.
“Shattered,” I said. “Scattered across Midgard.” Like the remnants of bodies, both human and undead, after they were destroyed.
And like ash dispersed on the ground, their fragmentation prevented them from ever mending as a vampire’s body once could.
An ember landed on my shoulder, and my eyes flew open. I scrambled to brush it off me as I jumped to my feet.
Walls of fire surrounded me. Branches broke and rained down, clattering and splintering into pieces as they hit the ground. I seethed, the heat too much now that I was more aware of the world around me.
In the haze, I could barely make out Silver as she walked away, flanked by Ylva and Darius. Others were likely nearby, dozens of them. It was either burn alive or die at the hands of a vampire, and my sister hadn’t ordered them to kill me yet.
I hung my head, taking one last look at the flecks trapped in the moss. Whether they were pieces of Odin or Drak or ash from the tree, I didn’t know. This wasn’t him. Drak was gone.
But his soul… Was it scattered out there somewhere? A curious thrill sent my heart beating faster.
Where did the aspects go?
Step by agonizing step, I dragged myself out from under Yggdrasil and into the shadowy night.
I raised the necklace and bowed my head through the chain.
The weight of the gaudy ring fell heavy between my breasts.
Though it had originally belonged to Sten, the ring had become a symbol of Drak’s protection of me.
In the end, he gave me everything. I would push forward, gradually learning to harness the powers that would come with time—powers to see the future, to command Odin’s ravens, and so much more.
Hope was within reach, but for now, I still relied on what Silver knew.
Hel, I didn’t trust my sister for one second, but desperation had an energy of its own.
She knew Drak at the time his soul had shattered.
If I wanted any chance of bringing him back, I had to deal with whatever she was going to throw at me.
I dragged myself forward, gasping for air, forcing my focus on the world ahead. Yggdrasil, the witch and huntress, was behind me. Now I was at my sister’s mercy.
Silver and her army were already several paces away, but two vampires awaited me. They grabbed me before I could take another step.
“Silver!” I shouted.
She flashed me a wide, painted smile. “Right on time.”
I scraped my molars together. Even after all this time apart, she’d accurately predicted how I’d behave. “I don’t trust you, but you know something.”
“I know something,” she echoed, dipping her head in confirmation. “If you want to know it too, I’d be happy to tell you.” How she managed not to blink against the brightness of the fire, I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what pleased her…
A chill shot through me, crisp and severe, even with the fire burning behind me. It was far worse to think about what Vylheim would become under Silver and the vampires’ reign. Would they reinstate the Blood Council or the bloodshed law? Could it get worse?
But I couldn’t stop an entire vampire army on my own.
They dragged me forward, their grip unyielding when Silver’s grin met me like a blade. “Bow before me and declare me queen in front of all of Vylheim, and I’ll tell you where to find him.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
That peculiar laugh seeped out of her again. For someone who hungered for authority and vengeance, she was oddly gleeful. A bit like Loki.
She leaned into me, her breath warm on my ear as she yanked me back to the present. “I know where the first fragment of his soul is.” When she pulled away, she shrugged. “It’ll be up to you to find the rest.”
“Find the rest of…his soul?”
“All of him, yes. Hel, Lux, did you lie about loving the sagas too? I thought you’d read everyone there is to find, especially after Drakkar built you that damn library.”
I shook my head. “This is a trick. I’ll bow to you and then you’ll throw me in the dungeons.”
She spun around, half-shrugging again as she strode away from me. “Throw a god into the dungeons? Maybe you don’t care for them anymore, but I’ll not risk angering Thor and Freya and Loki by keeping one of their kind captive beneath my castle.”
“They don’t care for me.”
“No, but they care about their image, and about how those who still worship them perceive them.” She halted and turned again with her neck bent and her eyes glistening with a type of delusion I did not recognize. “I’m going to restore Vylheim to honor them.”
Now I was the one who couldn’t stop a laugh from bursting out of me. “You just set fire to Yggdrasil.”
“Cleansing of the old ways,” she said. Holding up a fist, she uncurled her fingers. At the center of her palm sat a tiny seed. “To bring anew.” Snapping her fist shut, she smirked. “On my terms, of course. You gods will make bargains with me this time.”
I frowned. Nothing about that sounded…okay.
“And what stops me from killing you after you tell me where this…”
“Fragment,” she said.
“Where this fragment is.”
That disconcerting smile spread before her lips shaped around a barely audible word. “Time.” She spun on her heel and kept walking.
I tugged against the vampire's grip, but they didn’t loosen. Instead, they thrust me forward. “What does that mean?” I asked. Silver was as cryptic as the gods themselves, but I was done with riddles. I was so depleted that my soul felt like it hung heavy in my throat.
“You won’t have time to kill me. I have an entire army protecting me, and the longer you take to weave the fragments, the more impossible it becomes to complete.
His ashes were just scattered. The most difficult part is to knit his body back together, and without the body, his soul will only have one place to go… ” Her pale lips stretched.
“Valhalla?” I guessed, speaking in a crackling whisper. This couldn’t be possible. My rational mind grappled with the idea of restoring a shattered soul. A vampire’s lost soul.
But the less rational side of me, well…my heart sped up, pounding faster and faster at the thought of keeping my promise.
Drak had kept his vow to follow me. He’d come back from Valhalla and found me, and as soon as he knew the truth, he’d tried to tell me.
He’d been the only person in my life to tell me the truth every single time.
Hel, I missed him. The way he’d warm my hands when they turned blue.
How he looked at me, care swimming in both his scarred eye and his clear eye.
That he knew every horrible choice I’d made and, still, he chose me.
Even though I was the witch who’d damned this entire realm to the scourge of vampires in the first place.
Now, he was lost in the ether with no soul, no afterlife, and no way to keep the vow he’d made during our first wedding.
And our second wedding.
I’ll follow you. An unseen grasp tightened around my heart and throat.
Silver’s smile was enough to confirm my suspicions about Valhalla. I would lose Drak again if I didn’t restore his body to his soul in time. “If you want to save Drakkar, you’ll do what I say and then you’ll leave me the fuck alone.”
Was I this selfish? Did it matter if I bowed before her?
She’d already won; she’d take the throne.
Even Drak’s loyal guards couldn’t stop an onslaught of vampires—especially many of whom were courtiers and on the Blood Council.
They were well aware of Mara’s Keep and its weak points, and without Drak and the huntress, very little stood in their way.
I licked my lips, eyes narrowing on my sister. “Is this a trick?”
“I know you’ve lived a life of lies, Lux, but even you feel the truth.
Deep down.” Reaching out, she poked the base of my rib cage.
Somehow, she found a bruised rib, and the pain of her touch sucked the breath out of me.
“Sure, you’re not as well-read as a girl who grew up in Mara’s Keep, but you know pieces of the sagas. ”
Frowning, I wriggled under the grip of the vampires.
Though sagas and the history of our people were my obsession, she was right; I didn’t have access to the complete records that the Blood Council had buried in the castle.
If only I’d hung from Yggdrasil and gained Odin’s knowledge, this slow fucking process of fully developing into a god would kick forward and my life would be a Hel of a lot easier right now.
But it was coming. I just had to bide my time and deal with Silver a little longer…
“You were in the dungeons,” I said. “The records were kept in a hidden library nowhere near you.”
“And Drakkar knew exactly where they were. We were friends once, you know? Me and your precious Drak. We grew up together. He brought me material to read and food, and in exchange, I kept him company. And then, when he grew up, I gave him the greatest gift of all.” Pausing, she let the full effect of her words sink in.
My frown deepened. “You broke his soul when you turned him.”
Shrugging, her smile shifted to one of pride. “He wanted it.” Of course, I knew that was the truth. I squirmed from the sting of the vampires’ fingernails digging into my arms.
Losing interest, Silver’s smirk vanished. Her lashes flickered as she looked away and continued down the cliff. Neither of us spoke, and the two vampires holding me simply marched on with me under their grip.
Over and over, my mind returned to only one thing: Drak’s words.
I wish we had never left Old Skaldir. If we’d never marched into the Battle of Sundered Sky, we’d have lived a quiet life as a farmer and skald.
I’d still be his skald, and we might be together in the afterlife.
Life on the farm was stolen from us. A simple, happy life together had been torn away.
Both by our own choices, and the choices of the gods.
Now I was the only one of us left. My choice could change everything and bring us back to the life he wished for.
Drawing a biting breath, I raised my chin. “I’ll do it.”
She didn’t stop walking as she snorted. “Do what?”
“I’ll bow before you while you take your seat on Vylheim’s throne.”
“Hmm.”
“Where is the first fragment?”
Hair tumbled down her back as she threw her head back and laughed.
She didn’t answer, and I didn’t prod her.
Somehow I knew my sister would make good on this deal.
Once I touched my forehead to the ground in front of her, and once all of Mara and Vylheim watched me relinquish the throne to her, she’d give me the location of Drak’s soul.
Or a piece, at least.
With a last look at the gods’ domain, I followed the path back into the haze of the wasteland.
“I’m coming back for you.” After I’ve practiced and harnessed Odin’s powers, I’m coming back.
Thank you for giving me this. A rush of energy surged through my veins, a reminder that I was a god and could shape my own fate.
Our fate, Drak, to be together. I formed the words around my tongue but didn’t give enough voice to them. Drak couldn’t hear me anyway.
Not yet.