Chapter 4
Sidharth
I’m leaning against the wall just a few feet from her room, staring at the closed door. I don’t even know why I can’t make myself leave the hospital. Instead, I had one of my colleagues bring me a change of clothes and freshened up in the hospital washroom.
It’s been twenty-four hours since I last saw Nisha with my own eyes, breathing, healing, alive. I know she’s safe now, surrounded by people who love her and who’ll take care of her. I also know the bastard who did this to her is finally behind bars, and nothing can harm her now.
But still, something in me won’t let go. Like I need to be here too. Like I belong here, among the ones who truly care about her.
The only control I’ve managed is stopping myself from barging into her room.
Reyansh senses the tension coiling inside me too, because every time his eyes find mine, he shoots me that calculating look, his mind clearly racing with questions he hasn’t voiced yet.
I know he’s waiting for the right moment to ask.
But what the hell would I even say? There’s no explanation that makes sense.
Because the fucking truth is, even I don’t know what the hell this feeling is that’s tearing me up from the inside.
Even now, when I know she doesn’t need me anymore, every instinct in me is still screaming to see her, if only for a second.
As if it’s some kind of an answer from God, the door opens and Sunita Aunty steps out first. Right behind her are Kavya, Reyansh, and Nisha.
I take my time to study her. She looks beautiful. There’s no other word for it. Dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a T-shirt, with not even a trace of makeup on her face, she looks effortlessly gorgeous.
Feeling my gaze on her, she lifts her head, and her eyes widen as they meet mine. Just the reaction I knew she’d have. I shove the sting of her anxiousness aside and force a smile on my face. I then push off the wall and walk towards her.
“Hey, man,” I say to Reyansh.
He gives me a nod, and then my gaze shifts to Kavya.
“Hey, Kavya,” I say, offering a polite smile, which she returns. Then I turn to Sunita Aunty.
“Namaste, Aunty,” I say, bending down to touch her feet, something I never did in the past, but somehow, it feels right now.
Sunita Aunty’s face lights up. “God bless you, beta. It’s good that you’re here.”
“Thank you, Aunty. I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” I say, my eyes shifting to Nisha. She’s standing there, silent, her guarded gaze locked on mine.
I smile lightly. “You happy you’re going home?”
“I… I’m,” she says in a soft voice, her eyes dropping as she nervously tucks her hair behind her ears.
I nod, choosing not to press further, and we all start walking towards the elevator.
Kavya and Sunita Aunty talk about the medicines Nisha needs to take once they get home, and Reyansh adds something about picking up Kavya’s vitamins.
I mostly just listen. Nisha’s quiet too, and she doesn’t look even look at me.
Not even when we step into the elevator and stand shoulder to shoulder.
I notice how she shifts ever so slightly, creating just enough space between us, her gaze fixed straight ahead.
Once we reach the ground floor, we head towards Reyansh’s car parked outside the entrance. I walk ahead and open the door as Reyansh and Kavya help Nisha into the back seat. She still doesn’t look at me. Her eyes remain lowered, quiet and distant.
Sunita Aunty pats my cheek. “Keep dropping by, beta.”
I nod to her as she moves around to the other side, then slips into the back seat beside Nisha.
“Thank you for everything,” Kavya says, slipping into the passenger seat.
Reyansh shuts Nisha’s door gently and looks at me. “We need to talk.”
I meet his gaze without flinching. I knew this was coming. I know the question that’s burning in his mind. And I can’t avoid him forever. So I might as well face it head-on.
“You know where to find me.”
He doesn’t reply, just gets behind the wheel.
With one last look at Nisha in the back seat, I step back. My hands slip into my pockets as they drive away. I stand there a moment longer than I should, watching the car disappear down the road, before finally turning towards my own car and pulling out my keys.
Starting the engine, I shake my head, hoping it will clear the storm of emotions crawling under my skin.
But it doesn’t. The way she ignored me, like I’m the last person she wants to see cuts deeper than I’d like to admit.
But that doesn’t deter me. If anything, it only makes things clearer.
I’ve got my work cut out for me. Nisha’s not going to make it easy.
She’s built walls the size of mountains, and after everything she’s been through, no one can blame her. But I’m not walking away either.
???
I slam my laptop shut. It’s been an hour since I got to the office, but I haven’t been able to concentrate on a damn thing. Every time I try to focus, her guarded eyes flash in my mind.
Damn it. What is this woman doing to me?
“You’re really on edge today,” Reyansh says, strolling in without knocking and flopping onto the chair across from me.
“If you have something to say, do it directly. I’m not in the mood to play riddles with you,” I mutter, reaching for a file on my desk to avoid looking at him. I flip it open, pretending to read about a seven-year-old kidnapping case we closed months ago.
“You want it straight? Fine. You look like hell. And it’s written all over your damn face that you’re hopelessly drawn to Nisha, someone you don’t even know.”
I look up and lock eyes with him. “Yeah, I don’t know her. But I don’t need a damn biography to know what I feel. She matters to me. That’s all you need to know.”
Reyansh doesn’t say anything at first. He just leans back in his chair, studying me like he’s trying to see through me.
“She’s not your redemption, Sidharth,” he finally voices.
I narrow my eyes at him. “That’s not what this is. Didn’t you hear the part I said she matters to me?”
“I did. But I also know you, Sidharth. I know why you’re hovering around her.
You’re confusing your instinct to protect with the guilt you still haven’t let go of.
This isn’t just about Nisha, it’s about you.
” His eyes lock on mine as he leans forward.
“You’re doing this because you couldn’t save her. ”
I stare at him, unblinking. He’s never brought her up before.
He knows how much it hurts. Even now, after a year, the pain of losing my sister still feels raw.
And just like that, all of it comes rushing back—the way she’d gotten involved with that asshole who was into drugs, the way I’d tried to talk sense into her.
But she didn’t listen. She just shut me out.
And by the time she realized the danger, it was too damn late.
Nevertheless, I carry that guilt every single day.
The guilt that I should’ve fought harder.
The guilt that I’d failed her. That’s on me.
And that’s the reason I left London. I just couldn’t bear to stay in that place, even though my parents are still there, my dad running the export-import business, and my mom helping him with the accounts.
Over the months, they begged me to stop blaming myself. They tried to make me understand that my sister made her own choices. That none of it was my fault. They even pleaded a hundred times for me to come home. But I turned a deaf ear to all their pleas.
Starting my detective agency in India was my way of dealing with it. I threw myself into other people’s mess. Solving crimes and hunting for justice became my salvation, the very thing I couldn’t get for her.
“You can’t bury yourself in this damn case. Solving it is enough. It’s done. You’re not meant to fix every part of her life, Sidharth,” Reyansh interrupts, cutting through my thoughts.
“You’re wrong,” I snap, standing up. “I’m not doing this out of some goddamn guilt.”
“No?” Reyansh lifts an eyebrow in challenge. “Then tell me, why are you personally getting involved in this case? You’ve never crossed that line before. So why now?”
I open my mouth to reply, but he cuts me off.
“Because it’s a trigger. Nisha is around the same age your sister would’ve been.
And Prakash is involved with drugs… just like the guy who ruined her.
You couldn’t save your sister, and now you’re protecting Nisha like it’s your second chance,” he says bluntly, his eyes locked on mine.
Then he adds, his tone softer but firm, “But she’s not a substitute for the past you couldn’t change. ”
My jaw clenches, and my hands are pressed flat against the desk.
Maybe some part of me knows he’s not entirely wrong.
But he isn’t right either. Because whatever this is, whatever I feel for Nisha…
it isn’t just about guilt. It’s something more.
Something I haven’t felt with any woman before.
Not even with the ones I’ve bedded and forgotten by morning.
This is different. And that’s what scares me.
“Don’t you dare,” I growl, glaring at him.
“Don’t you fucking dare reduce her to my redemption arc.
Nisha is not a stand-in for my sister, and she’s sure as hell not my guilt playing dress-up.
” I push back from the desk. “What I feel for her is real. And it has nothing to do with the past. So stop trying to box it up like you’ve got it all figured out. ”
Reyansh folds his arms across his chest. “Just for the record, even the best men break when they try to fix what was never theirs to fix.”
This time, I don’t respond. He’s pushing for a reaction, but I won’t give him one. He knows me too well, knows my mind’s made up and there’s no turning back now.
He exhales, running a hand through his hair.
“Look, I’m not old-fashioned enough to tell you to back off just because she’s my woman’s sister.
All I’ll say is…” He rises to his feet. “You’re a good man, Sidharth.
I trust you won’t hurt her. But think carefully about how you want to move forward with her.
Given her condition, you know better than anyone that you’ll need to tread carefully. ”
With that, he heads for the door, then stops at the threshold, flinging one last look over his shoulder. “Think about what I said. Tread lightly.”
And then he’s gone.
I flop back in my chair, my mind spinning. No matter how it looks to the world, I know one thing—this time, I’m not doing it for the ghost in my head.