Chapter 15 #2
I bite the inside of my cheek to avoid sighing in admiration, and grab the bowls, hurrying to his side. “Hope you like it. You must give me a list of your favorites, so I don’t accidentally make something you hate,” I say, settling next to him.
Oh, this sofa is comfortable enough to sleep on!
The furnishings don’t look particularly expensive, but everything is clean and well-maintained, which must be a reflection of Logan’s personality, because even now, with his leg broken, he’s so put together.
I won’t lie, it impresses me. Everything about him does.
“I just hate seafood,” he says and digs in as soon as we’re both seated. “Thanks for this,” he adds as if he’s not the one saving me from another night in my car.
He’s not much older than me, but I can’t help feeling like we’re on different levels.
He’s a university graduate, has his own place, a job, and is obviously more versed in the gay world than me.
It only makes me want to get my ass in gear more so I can match up to him.
Maybe he just thinks I’m some homeless loser and doesn’t want to take a chance on me for that reason?
“Oh, that’s nothing. You just wait until I spread my wings,” I say, chewing the food.
He looks up, and I’m ready to take a dip in the steel pools of his eyes.
They spear me like twin knives, as if he wants to get to the bottom of my intentions.
But he still eats the food I made with so much gusto it makes me giddy.
I want to treat him, and this is the best I have for the moment. Of course I’d love to serve his other needs just as much, but he’s so guarded I don’t know how to offer him that. I know it would help him relax after a hard day if he took the edge off in my mouth.
I’d be lying if I claimed I didn’t spend a large part of the trip here fantasizing about how he’d taste on my tongue.
It was something he didn’t get the opportunity to treat me to, and I can’t help but steal a glance at his crotch, but his sweatpants are pretty baggy.
Is he wearing underwear, or did he opt to go commando with his foot in the orthopedic boot?
“I’ll take you shopping tomorrow, since I only have some basics in my fridge,” he says and I don’t know if I should remind him that he can’t currently drive.
I nod. “This is such a cool apartment. Really modern. Did you… design this yourself?” I ask, because I want to know everything about him.
He looks around as if it’s the first time he’s seeing his own house, and I’m fighting the urge to wipe a spot of tomato sauce off his chin.
“I rent it, so it’s mostly the way it was when I moved in, but I did fill it with my own stuff.
It’s more expensive to live on my own, but I had someone break into my room when I was sharing with roommates and decided I was sick of it.
Fortunately, I also got a raise at work, so it’s not too bad.
You’ll just have to find out how you even like it here as you get back on your feet. It’s a small town.”
We’re not talking about anything special, but I’m soaking it up like a sponge.
I don’t know if the sparks are really flying between us or if it’s just my imagination, but now that I’m in his presence again, I’m dying to touch him.
Even his shower gel smells good, so fresh and yet somehow spicy.
He’s either unaware of my stares or chooses to ignore them.
I can live with that for now. He’s been through a lot today.
“Yeah, but I remember you said you’re out. As in, people know you’re bisexual?” I ask, lowering my voice without thinking, as if an acquaintance or family member could somehow overhear us.
But they can’t. This is the house of a grown-ass man who does what he wants with his life.
Logan nods and puts his empty bowl on the coffee table. “I haven’t put up a billboard about it in front of my house, but my friends know, I date guys, and I go to LGBT events when I feel like it. Because of the student population, the town has a young demographic. You feel ready for that?”
My mouth dries, but I finish my food. “I need to be. This is why I’m here.
Everything that happened since we met at my family stables has been like a cold shower.
After… after that evening, I realized I’m not really attracted to women.
I just see that they’re pretty, but it’s not comparable,” I say, catching his gaze to make sure he understands that he’s the one who showed me what I truly need.
“I can’t live a lie any longer. It’ll only bring everyone more pain.
So I’m here, and I want to be gay here.”
He snorts, and this is the first time I see him smile in a while. I might be losing my mind while he just sits there all casual with his leg in a plastic contraption.
“I like your confidence. It will take you far. So will an ass like yours. I’ll give you a few pointers about the town once I’m not as fucked up as right now.”
I’m burning, because all I can hear is that he complimented my backside.
And of course he did, since he so clearly enjoyed it.
“Um... yeah. I hope. And how does all of this work for you? Do you date? And in what proportion?” I ask, trying to breathe like a normal person, because I imagine myself getting up and bending over so he can rub and squeeze my buttocks without needing to move.
He looks thoughtful but when he slouches a little it only emphasizes the way his nipples press on the fabric of his T-shirt.
Jesus, I’m such a pervert. He’s a nice and normal hot guy, a person, sitting and chatting to me on the sofa, and all I can think of is if he’s got underwear beneath the sweatpants.
“I’d say I like men and women in a similar proportion, but I’ve probably dated more men lately. You know my own wedding was a fuck up years ago, and it’s made dating women a bit weird for me. Also, men are easy.” That cocky smile is back and he winks at me.
I don’t know if I should be offended, but if the word had negative connotations for him, he wouldn’t have said it to my face. I hope.
I swallow when my throat tightens, because being close to him makes me both excited and unsettled.
The two times I had sex with him made all my other sexual experiences pale so much I can barely remember their details.
But his touch? I can recall it with such clarity it’s forcing me to change position, to take pressure off my groin.
My body gets excited at the very idea of his proximity.
“But… is it that you date them less seriously than women? Do you want to get married in the future? Sorry if that’s offensive, or something, but I never met anyone who was bi.”
“After that fuck-up of a wedding you had, do you think marriage is worth trying? Half the people there were divorced.” He shrugs, but his yawn is suggesting he might be heading to bed soon.
I feel like I should be cynical like him, or else he might laugh, but I’m not, so I bite the inside of my cheek and speak.
“You inspired me to be honest with myself, but at the end of the day, that’s still something I want.
I’m a romantic. Maybe it is stupid of me to hope for this one big love when fifty percent of marriages fall apart, but there are people who make it.
Maybe if I am kind and dedicated and choose better this time, I can have the loving family I want.
And you said it yourself that I could still have kids, even if I’m with another man. ”
“You can, and it’s… sweet that what happened didn’t break you.
If it counts for anything, I do think you made the right choice not going through with marrying someone you don’t love.
Just watch out, because lots of guys, including me, are shitheads who will take from you given half the chance.
” He shakes his head as he makes an attempt to get up, but I place my hand on his thigh, not wanting him to go.
My body feels stiff, and I hear ringing in my ears, as if I’ve just been hit in the back of the head, but when my eyes meet his, I know that no matter how much I loved having him take charge, I’m the one who followed him, and it’s me who should take risks.
I’ve taken initiative before, though the potential consequences of failure are much more dreadful than they seemed with any of the girls I’ve dated.
“You haven’t done anything I didn’t want.
It’s like you flipped a switch in my head, and now I understand what I really want. ”
He sucks in air, staring back at me as I move my hand up his thigh, and when he doesn’t protest—to his crotch.
I don’t think he’s wearing underwear, and he might have wanted to leave for the same reason I had to shift on the sofa.
He swallows, watching me with intensity in his gray eyes. And unlike the other times we were close, there’s no one outside the door about to barge in, nowhere I have to be. The silent house is ours to enjoy.
“You don’t want this, Kyle. I am not a good choice for you.”
What does he know? I make my own choices, as I’ve already proven by turning my life upside down and coming here.
I shake my head and lean in, squeezing him through the sweats. I can barely breathe when fire rushes through me, as if my insides were combustible. “But this feels good. And I haven’t even seen your cock. Not from up close.”
Logan’s breath becomes shallow, and his gaze alone could set me on fire. I don’t regret the hundreds of miles I’ve driven to reach this man, even if this night were to be all I get from him.
“How close?” he rasps, and I get the feeling he’s fighting to make a decision. I need to help him with it.
I want to kiss him but end up pressing my lips to his growing cock.
He smells so good. I do mostly sense fabric softener, and the spicy gel he washed himself with, but underneath both those layers is a musky aroma I need to lick off him.