CHAPTER 13
“Emissary?” Cerridwen asked, her surprise carrying cleanly across the dinner table.
“And you accepted it?” Gwinifer’s voice cut in, her eyes holding mine in utter disbelief.
I could only nod, grateful my mouth was full.
Cerridwen observed me, dumbfounded, as if the idea of us agreeing on anything, let alone working together, was some impossible twist of reality.
That thought had followed me all day. More than once, I had considered asking for a different assignment or saying I had changed my mind altogether.
But what job would he ever trust me with?
I was certain Reagan had picked this one just to keep an eye on me.
And perhaps there were opportunities to be found in following him around.
“My, my,” Finn murmured, rubbing his chin in mild amusement.
“And how will she travel on her own?” Cerridwen asked, her gaze swivelling to Reagan.
I didn’t blame her. In less than a month, I went from being a prisoner to being an emissary to the estate. Of course, they would have a lot of questions, maybe advise against it.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Barracus Crow. He hadn’t yet spoken, though his furrowed brow suggested he wasn’t happy about this. I wondered what he made of Reagan’s judgement.
“She’ll travel with Finnegan or me,” Reagan replied smoothly, as if he were prepared for these questions already.
The room fell into a brief, tense silence. Reagan waited, showing no sign of self-doubt, his eyes moving from face to face.
Crow finally spoke, his voice a low, cold sound that raised the hairs on my arms. “So you intend to place your trust in her, a creature who is a stranger and whose reason for trespassing remains unknown.”
Reagan regarded his adviser. “I trust that I can handle her.”
I felt a wisp of concern at what it meant to handle me. And, in truth, this job suggested the opposite of trust.
“A temporary position, then?” Finn asked. “Interesting.”
When silence settled over us once more, I felt the weight of their watchful, uncertain stares.
I knew that distrust well. It was the same feeling I had when I first arrived, though mine had been mixed with fear.
Yet, I remembered how Cerridwen, especially, had tried to provide some sort of comfort. I decided to do the same.
“I asked for this job to repay the debt from my trades,” I said. It was the only reason I’d agreed to this. “Reagan and I both agreed that if it doesn’t work out, either because you feel I’m unsuited, or if I come to that conclusion myself, we’ll end it.”
Cerridwen still hesitated, though her surprise softened it. Barracus, however, remained impassive. Whether I’d failed to reassure him, or whether that was simply his typical expression, was hard to tell.
I looked back at Reagan. His face was mostly a blank slate, but he dipped his chin in agreement.
A sense of relief settled in, quieting the nervous churn in my stomach. It was a validation I hadn’t expected, and I had no idea why I appreciated it.
“Then . . .” Cerridwen started, casting a quick glance at Crow. “Congratulations, Jane.” Her tone felt sincere. “I suppose this means we should discuss the terms of your position.”
“I’ll handle that,” Reagan interjected smoothly.
She raised a brow, momentarily surprised, but then nodded, as if they had a silent understanding.
“Any other objections?” Reagan asked, his eyes sweeping across each face in the room. Silence held as no one voiced further doubts. “Then it’s settled.”
He leaned over the table to where I sat, extending one hand to me.
I sealed the handshake, and with it, my new job. The payment for my debt. His grip was firm, the calloused pad of his thumb brushing over my knuckle. I leaned in, drawn by the faint glow between our hands. The blue veins along his forearm seemed to shimmer.
I froze, watching as it faded slowly. He forgot to mention if this was some sort of binding agreement that I’d just committed to. I pulled my hand back, my pulse quickening as I caught the flicker of excitement glinting in his eyes.
“Welcome to the staff, Jane Darling.”
◆◆◆
On the morning we were set to leave for Erisea, I found myself making my way to training.
I’d been sleeping poorly, my mind tangled in endless questions about the trip.
No matter how many times I counted, willing my thoughts to settle, concerns kept surfacing unbidden.
I wondered if I could trust him, if I knew what to do there.
And the biggest question: if there were an opportunity to leave, would I take it?
I couldn’t make up my mind about any of them.
My neck was stiff, and I could only hope practice with Gwin would loosen it. But when I stepped into the training room, it wasn’t her at the centre of the mat.
“Where’s Gwinifer?” I asked, pausing by the entrance.
“Gwinifer and Finnegan left early for Vaelon,” Reagan replied, turning to face me. “They have a longer journey and want some time to prepare before meeting the lady of the estate. Today, you’ll be training with me.”
If only Gwinifer had mentioned this last night. It would have made me think twice about showing up to train this morning. Then the reason struck me. That was why she hadn’t told me.
“Worried?” he asked, and I might have heard a hint of that prickling amusement.
Perhaps I might find a few answers to my questions here.
“No, just surprised,” I lied, stepping forward. “So, what are we training today?”
“Nothing different from what you’ve learned, just who you’ll be up against.” He gestured to the mat in front of him. “Shall we?”
“I haven’t warmed up yet.”
“By all means,” he replied, crossing his arms. “Start whenever you’re ready.”
Holding his gaze for a beat, I turned away, stretching my arms and pacing the room. I had seen him running outside a few times and figured he’d probably done it already today.
“I still don’t know what you expect me to do there,” I admitted, quickening my steps into a jog.
“I expect you to show up,” he said, his voice dripping with that insufferable arrogance, “stand by my side, look pretty, which, of course, will make me look even better, and listen. Take in everything you can on this first assignment. That’s all.”
His words made my nostrils flare. He was baiting me, riling me up to train. That was what I told myself.
“You’re just as arrogant as Gwinifer,” I muttered.
He actually smirked, as if my criticism had entertained him. In fact, every time I criticised him, he seemed amused. Except when I called him a monster.
His gaze followed me until I moved out of sight. “No, I’m more arrogant. But I’m also far nicer than my sister. I’m sure you’ll see that on this first liaison.”
I huffed a laugh, and when his face came into view again, he had quirked a brow. “Well, that’s alarming if you actually think Gwin is nicer.”
“I wouldn’t call either of you nice,” I retorted, still smiling just as a gust of air whooshed by.
My feet lifted from the mat, and I braced myself for the fall, expecting the impact of my back against the floor. But it never came. A firm hand cradled my head, and an arm wrapped around my lower back, holding me close to the ground, my heels just brushing the floor.
My eyes flew wide open, arms instinctively clutching his shoulders.
His smug smile was inches from my face. “I didn’t let you hit the floor or add to those bruises. I’m nicer.”
He was in my space, and I didn’t think. I just drove a knee into his ribs. Reagan released me, and I dropped to the floor. His free hand caught my leg mid-kick, pinning me to the mat.
I hissed at the weight pressing me down and pulled my arms back. His hand left my neck, catching my arm just shy of his chin, stretching it across my chest and immobilising my other arm beneath it.
“I think I made you angry,” he said, his voice calm, unbothered. “How are you going to get out of this?”
Gwinifer had shown me how, though I hesitated. The move had hurt a lot last time, and it hadn’t done much to break free of her hold. On the other hand, I might hurt him too.
I drove my head forward, aiming the hard part of my forehead at his nose. He dodged sideways, clearly anticipating it, giving me just enough room to roll out from under him. This time, he didn’t try to stop me, and I rose to my feet.
“Good,” he said from where he still sat on the floor, one elbow braced on his knee.
“You let me get away,” I panted, my heart racing, “and I wasn’t even done warming up.”
“Really? You looked . . .” He stood smoothly, giving me a smirk that had me frowning. “Anyway, I just wanted to prove to you how nice I can be.”
His breathing hadn’t quickened in the slightest.
I stared at him, worried that this was his idea of being civil now that we had to travel together.
“Gwinifer doesn’t fling when we practise,” I said. “I know you can, but that’ll make it impossible for me to learn.”
“You make a good point,” he said, eyes on me as I wiped a bead of sweat from my brow. “I won’t do it anymore.”
“Right,” I said. “I’m done warming up.”
“Then come closer.”
“Are you going to show me a different move?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
“No, just the drill. We’ll work with what you learned.”
He sidestepped, and I mirrored him, fists raised. He held no stance, arms still relaxed at his sides.
Bloody arrogance.
“Are you really not giving me any tasks for this mission?” I asked, keeping my gaze locked on him. “Either this isn’t a real job, or you just think I’ll fail.”
“It’s a very real job,” he said evenly. “And I want you to succeed. This is just the first one. Emissaries usually learn on the first one.”
We paced around each other, him slowly closing the distance. He hadn’t moved to strike, as if he were waiting for my first attempt or for a lapse in my attention.
My pulse quickened.
“And what if I try to sabotage your visit?” I asked.
He didn’t even blink. “Then I’ll punish you,” he replied smoothly, his easy movements gaining a hint of intent.
There was one move I’d learned that hit a nerve, one that might actually work here. He disliked being thought of as a monster.