CHAPTER 24
I listened to the only noise in my bedchamber at Mountheim Hall.
His breathing.
Even. Rhythmic. Reagan was still asleep, half his face buried in the pillow. His arms stretched toward me.
In sleep, his features were relaxed. Almost human. I peered at the glinting gemstone on the left side of his chest, its facets seizing the light and shattering it like a crimson jewel. I swept a strand of hair aside, admiring the face I had been so intent on despising.
And the moment we stepped out of my room, this reality would splinter.
Human. Mage. I had to remember what we were. Just as I had to remember that he was a lord—expected to wed, to choose a mageborn lady befitting his title. Someone who could wield the same power as him, who could rule with him.
Besides, I would be gone in just a few more months, and this night would fade into nothing more than a fleeting memory—No, not even a memory.
The sheer abuse of their power was jarring. Forfeit my own memories. I didn’t want to; I wanted to remember this.
I sighed. At the sound, Reagan shifted, his bare torso rising as he inhaled deeply. And in the daylight, he looked just as devastating, with dewy pale blue eyes blinking at me.
“Are you enjoying watching me sleep?” His voice was hoarse. “It’s a little disturbing.”
My situation is a little disturbing. Squirming against my pillow, I made an excuse. “You were snoring.”
He grinned. “No, I wasn’t.”
Reagan stretched his arms and tugged me to him. And just like that, I was nestled in the crook of his neck, surrounded by the blissful scent of cedarwood. Just a little longer.
“Was last night enough to satisfy your curiosity?” I asked, my tone quiet.
He rested his cheek against my hair, that rough voice now soft, laced with a familiar wit. “I can’t imagine saying that I’ve had enough of you, Darling.” His fingers traced slow, languid lines down my back, over my nightgown.
“You’re louder than I would’ve expected,” he mused, his voice a lazy drawl.
“Gods.” I let out a breathless laugh.
“Yes, you moaned that too,” he murmured, a wicked lilt to his tone. “I enjoyed it immensely, but I warded the walls so no one else would hear you but me. Next time, I’ll make sure you’re even louder.”
Reagan’s mouth brushed over my hair, then my nose, then my lips. And the second he licked into my mouth, a pleased sigh escaped me.
Next time. Right.
I broke the kiss, my hands trailing over his muscled chest. “I think we shouldn’t let this happen again, or we risk pissing off Cerridwen.”
An excuse. A piss-poor one at that, but I couldn’t very well say I didn’t want to be caught up in this. In him.
“It must have been an ordeal for you if you’re rejecting me already,” he said, his voice solemn. “You wound me, Darling.”
“No, it wasn’t—” I cut myself off as I leaned back to look at him. Reagan was grinning. I hummed. “I should have known.”
He chuckled low. “I know it wasn’t unpleasant for you. I remember you vividly from last night. I have the most exquisite memories in my head.”
My voice was breathy, my body betraying me as Reagan’s hands continued to roam up and down my back. My desire flooded my body once more. “You’d better enjoy those then.”
He toyed with a strand of my hair, his grin fading as he seemed to take in my words. “Is that really what you want? Because I’m certain I’ll want to relive those memories again.”
Honesty. Raw and alarming. I wondered what harm it would do to let him steal my sanity for another night. Or several others. And let myself get swept up in the avalanche my need for him had become.
“I think it is a mistake. In a few months, I won’t even be able to remember you.” I stared at him, my eyes half-lidded. “To even know you exist.”
Reagan claimed my mouth, his hands gripping my bottom as he pulled me on top of him. And, gods, I went along with it, no argument. “I asked what you want. Answer me.”
“You know,” I murmured, my hands resting on his chest. “I want this.”
“So take it. Take what you want,” he urged, cupping my hand that lay against his chest, holding it firmly, the other hand gripping the side of my hair. “The months ahead will wait.”
“Reagan . . .” I started, his given name almost slipping out instead. My claim on him. “It’ll be worse then. And what do you expect? That we keep it a secret from the staff? Or shall we tell them and your entire estate, too?”
The thought of Gwinifer and Erica pulled at the edges of my mind. The look on Gwin’s face. How long has it been since Erica returned to the human lands? Gwin still visits her.
His gaze narrowed, eyes still bleary from a deep sleep. “They saw plenty at the Rite.”
“They only saw us dance.”
“My people have greater concerns than who I take to my bed. Besides, I don’t want to keep it a secret.” His chin lifted, one hand trailing up my thigh, his mouth almost touching mine. “I told you in Erisea that I chose you.”
“What is even the point?” I exhaled, something drawn tight in my chest. “We can only be fools for letting this happen just to have it wiped out of my head in a few months.”
“We’ll not be fools.”
“I will.”
“Fine. Then I’ll be a fool as well.” His voice was low, albeit a little riled up.
“If anything, I’m an even bigger fool, because you’ll leave and forget about me, and I’ll remember.
But if this is all I get, a few months with you, then I’ll take it, Jane.
I’ll take five more months. A week more.
Five minutes more. Any time you’ll give me, for as long as we have. ”
His sleep-rough voice sent a thrill skittering over my skin. I lifted my hands to that sensuous face, cupping the sharp planes of his cheeks as I studied it, my heartbeat an uneven staccato in my chest. He was completely serious.
“Jane, the point is that you want this.” His voice was steady, intent. “And I’m damn near losing my mind with how badly I want you. I can’t focus, can’t even think when you’re near me. And the truth is, ever since I kissed you, I knew I would have you. And you could own me if you chose to.”
I shook my head, taking in his dishevelled dark hair and those brimming ice-blue eyes. I wanted him.
“All right,” I whispered. “For as long as we have.”
He tried not to smile, but by now, I could see through the facade.
“You’re belligerent this morning,” he said, sounding delighted. He tilted his chin, capturing my mouth, a hand sliding beneath my nightgown. “Maybe I can help with that.”
Maybe he was right. Maybe I was worrying too soon. Maybe tomorrow’s problems wouldn’t come. In the months ahead, this was likely to fall apart.
His fingers trailed up my leg, sliding to the inside of my thigh, and my own voice echoed in my head in response, It’s a fool’s hope.
◆◆◆
“There were no casualties, just minor injuries,” Cerridwen informed us over breakfast.
“Battle mages couldn’t find the source of the breach, so at this moment we still don’t know how the horde of Grims reached the castle,” Barracus spoke grimly, his hands resting on his lap, concealed beneath the black robe that hid his feathered arms. “Seven more patrollers were assigned to each of our four closest stations. Two of them will search perimeters for the cause of the breach.”
They didn’t wait for a proper meeting to start discussing what had transpired at the Aurora Rite. Reality didn’t wait to burst the bubble of bliss that lingered in my room.
“We might not know how it happened, but we know who’s guilty of it,” Gwinifer said, tapping her fingers on the armrest.
“We don’t have the luxury of insinuations. Speak plainly,” Cerridwen said, a picture of calm.
“Varian clearly had a hand in this,” Gwinifer replied, her nose wrinkling as if she were physically repelling it.
“He is an obvious candidate, especially after his provoking game,” Cerridwen answered.
“There is no way he’d make himself look that guilty,” Finnegan argued. He sat next to me, resting his chin on his hand and frowning at the omelette that he had practically left untouched.
“Unless he wanted us to think he’d been there all along,” Gwinifer retorted.
“So you think it was an intentional attack?” I asked. “Do you think he planned it?”
“Yes, I don’t think it was merely a ward failure. He was deliberately provoking Reagan, drawing him out, waiting for him to turn.” She cast a glance at him. “Sorry, brother, but that’s a fact.”
Reagan shrugged. “I have difficulty believing he would put our people in danger. It’s the one thing I think he wouldn’t risk.”
“Are you joking?” Gwinifer asked with a crease in her forehead. “You give him too much credit.”
“Let’s say you’re right. To what end?” Reagan continued. “How does attacking the Rite get him closer to what he wants?”
“He could have been looking to discredit you,” Cerridwen said, her arms crossed elegantly over her chest. “A large number of citizens were present. If he intended to trigger you, as Gwinifer says, then you would seem like the unruly lord while he might have come across like the level-headed one.”
Reagan stared at his plate, considering it.
“There’s another thing,” Finnegan said evenly. “We were surprised to see Scions at the Rite.”
“Who?” Cerridwen asked, her arms falling into her lap.
Finn shook his head, as if to say he didn’t know.
“And how do you know they were Scions?” Barracus asked.
“Gwin and I saw their mark, but we didn’t recognise them,” he answered. “There were three of them at the west end of the courtyard. The same direction the attack came from.”
I mindlessly shifted in my seat. The memory of my attack in Erisea crossed my mind, and maybe Reagan’s too, because we shared a glance.
“They were dead calm when everyone was running. Plus,” Gwinifer added, “the mark was very clear. All the more reason to think Varian is behind this.”
“He could. He associates with them. But Varian doesn’t command them. The group would need a reason to attack the Rite,” Cerridwen reasoned, her eyes flicking quickly to me.
“There aren’t any sympathisers in this city, so they must have come from elsewhere,” Barracus added, taking a sip of his coffee.