CHAPTER 26 #2
So we did, and he told me how he had known Silas from a young age.
The man had been invited to several dinners when his parents were still alive.
I refrained from asking more about his mother and father, though I wanted to.
Reagan explained that they would need to find Silas and end his existence. His life was already lost.
It didn’t take long for us to return to the Hall. A battle mage handed Reagan a cloak once we crossed the tunnel to the courtyard, which made me sigh in relief. His skin was still freezing by the time we entered the foyer.
Cerridwen caught sight of us as we stopped on the staircase.
“I’m leaving for Eldritch,” Reagan said.
“I will go with you,” she offered with a quick chin dip.
“Maybe you want to bathe first,” I suggested, earning a nod from him.
When we arrived in the antechamber leading to his room, I realised it was my first time there. It was on the same floor as mine, but at the opposite end of the wing.
“Now I see why we stay in my bedroom,” I said, halting at the threshold. “This place is a disaster.”
He gave me a half-smile, his eyes flicking around the room. Clothes and towels were strewn across the floor and draped over a chair. In the next room, more clothes lay piled on one side of the bed. Mugs and books were scattered across the nightstand and desk.
A frame sat on the desk, its photo side turned down. The furniture matched the dark wood of my own room, but the blankets and cushions were deep grey and coal-coloured. A balcony connected to the room offered a view of the city below.
“Yeah, I guess it is,” he said, sounding exhausted.
“I’ll let you bathe.” I turned toward the hallway.
“Would you stay?” he asked.
His voice was so unsure, as if he wasn’t used to asking for this. For company.
“Yes, I’ll stay,” I said, removing my cloak and shutting the door behind me.
He strode to the washroom, unclasped his own cloak, and tossed it onto the floor.
A white bathtub was already filling with water by the time I joined him and leaned against the wall tiles.
He stepped into the water and grabbed a bar of solid soap, scrubbing harshly at the stains on his shoulders. Tension radiated off him, leaving his skin red and raw.
Before I had time to second-guess myself, I was there, kneeling beside the tub and grabbing the soap from his hand.
“Let me do it before you scrub your skin off,” I said, firm yet gentle.
A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Are you going to bathe me?”
“You expect me to believe you didn’t ask me to stay for this reason?” I dipped the soap into the lukewarm water. “Lie back.”
Reagan’s mouth twitched, his gaze lingering on my face as I brushed the soap over a bloodstain on his shoulder, far softer than he’d been with himself.
He leaned back, eyes half-lidded. “Giving orders seems to come naturally to you,” he remarked.
I met his gaze. I had no idea what possessed me to offer to bathe him. It was a sudden urge I didn’t question, as if I could rinse away his misery along with the grime. And somehow, it seemed to work. His shoulders had relaxed.
I lathered the soap in my hands and smoothed it over his chest. Reagan’s gaze didn’t leave me.
“You wore that in the woods?” he asked, his eyes flicking to my cotton lawn dress, to the short silk sleeves, thin enough to see through.
“I didn’t exactly have time to change,” I replied, pursing my lips. “I was worried when you ran.”
He seemed to grip the edge of the tub before releasing it with a sigh.
“I’m sorry. It’s just . . . The wards should have worked. Every time I think a problem is resolved, it’s like I imagined it. It comes back again and again, no matter what I do. It shouldn’t be this bad. I’ve already—”
But he stopped himself, shoulders sagging.
“It wasn’t only you. Everyone thought they were working.”
“And yet, they failed, and Silas is tainted with a cursed existence. So much for my attempts.”
“So we keep looking for what’s breaking them. Maybe your patrollers can inspect the area.”
“The wards are on me,” he said, his voice taut with frustration. “For them to fail again, and for a decent man to die, it’s unforgivable. And now we’re left to deal with him in that cursed estate.”
My chest tightened as I watched him sigh, a hand dragging down his face. He knew all too well how it would feel.
“I suppose I should have seen it coming, with all the sightings we’ve had. I just don’t know what else to do.”
I let my hand rest on his shoulder, holding his gaze.
“Maybe you shouldn’t try to handle everything on your own.”
“What do you think I should have done? What would you do instead?” Reagan asked.
“You would be better off asking Cerridwen or Barracus.”
“I’m asking you.”
I noted the stern set of his jaw, the concentrated intensity in his eyes as he searched for solutions. Part of me warmed to the question.
“I don’t think I would do anything differently,” I said quietly.
“Talk to the battle mages. Search the area. Speak with his family, if they want to, and understand if they don’t.
I’d like to think I would use my anger and guilt where it could do some good.
Aiming it at those threats and trying not to let it become a hindrance.
” My hand slid to his chest, just over the heartstone.
“You’re giving everything, Caed. You’re giving your best.”
His expression softened, and a deep exhale left him.
I dipped my hand into the water, scrubbing at the bloodstain on his thigh.
My cheeks warmed as I took in his submerged form.
The water was clear enough to reveal the lines of muscle along his legs and hips.
I scrubbed higher, reaching the uppermost part of his thigh, and under the water, his body responded to my touch.
Reagan’s hands gripped the edges of the tub, knuckles whitening. I didn’t miss the subtle shift in his breathing. When I looked up, his gaze held mine. Steady and impossibly intense.
“I must be a real bastard, because I don’t even feel bad about wanting to take you right now.” His voice was sad and thick.
I inhaled quietly. “You shouldn’t feel bad about that.”
Maybe neither of us should feel bad about this. He was already drowning in so much remorse. It wasn’t the time, yet if there were any way to brush away that expression, I would take it. Being this close felt like a rare chance to glimpse the emotions he kept hidden.
Dropping the soap, I rose to my feet and pulled the hem of my dress over my head, letting it fall to the floor.
Reagan was frozen in the tub, but his eyes still devoured my body as I removed the last of my clothing. His gaze roamed and roamed until it stopped, brows furrowing.
He stared right at my upper thigh, seeing a perfect scar of the Algiz rune carved into my flesh. For a moment, he looked disoriented, hesitating, and I worried this was a bad idea. I’d forgotten about the scar.
But then he stretched one hand toward me, his voice a quiet command. “Come here.”
I took his hand and stepped into the tub, lowering myself, my knees settling on either side of his thighs. His eyes skimmed over all my bare skin, his thumb brushing over the scar. The tips of my breasts tingled.
There was no judgement as he looked at me.
“Is it for protection?” he murmured, his thumb still stroking the rune.
I nodded, catching a muscle twitching in his jaw. This might have been the worst moment for him to see it.
My hand trailed to his length. Reagan shuddered.
“We’ll talk about it later,” I said, sliding my hands around him.
“You are,” he breathed, tucking my hair behind my shoulders, his head lowering to place a kiss in the crook of my neck, “formidable. And wild. And I want you desperately.”
He tugged me further into his lap until I settled over the hardest part of him. He groaned into my mouth, his hands roaming my body with reverent touches, as if I were his harbour and he wanted nothing more than to anchor himself to me.
Here, in the soothing, tepid water, a breath of air seemed to fill his lungs.
It wasn’t hurried or frantic; it was something good to cling to.
I raised my hips, and Reagan moved with me, guiding us together. He held me close, his mouth kissing between my breasts as he brought me down. I gasped as he filled me.
Reagan paused, meeting my gaze as his hands steadied my waist, giving me time to adjust. His breath was warm as he kissed my damp skin.
Finally, I lowered my hips, and he groaned against my chest.
“My darling Jane, you’re my home.”
I kissed him again, my arms wrapping around his neck as he lifted me by the thighs, moving me along his length. Our breaths came ragged, panting.
Instinct, or some nameless feeling I didn’t seek to understand, didn’t dare to, whispered the same unrelenting words through my mind.
He felt like home too.