Chapter 6
Belle
My heart threatens to beat right out of my chest as I force myself to face Ash Griffin. He stays by the door, blocking my exit, and he looks just as intimidating as he did the first time we met. More so now that I know every inch of the muscular body hidden beneath the suit he wears like armor.
Ash had been wearing a tie earlier, but the neck of his white button-down shirt is open. I can see just a little of the tattoo that reaches his clavicle. It’s the feathered tip of a griffin’s wing.
The man I once knew so intimately is scrutinizing me just as closely.
His eyes are devoid of emotion as they travel down my body.
I don’t know what to do with my hands. I shove them into the pockets of my satin dress, but my too-big engagement ring catches on the seam.
As I fumble, Ash’s nostrils flare, giving away his true feelings.
I hadn’t meant to draw attention to my wedding finger, but my recent marriage is why I’m here after all.
After our anti-climactic encounter earlier, I thought I was ready to face Ash. But not like this. Not alone.
“This is a trap,” I rasp. And it’s one that he’s executed perfectly with the help of his friends and family, including Quinn.
“I thought this was something best done without an audience.”
When Ash takes a step towards me, I scuttle back until I’m pressed against metal racking. Is he going to threaten me? Abduct me? I wouldn’t be the first person the Griffins have abducted. I raise my hand, palm out to ward him off.
“For fuck’s sake, Belle,” he says, stopping where he is. “I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. You on the other hand…” He taps his fingers once against his chest.
The too-small room feels suddenly claustrophobic. I knew one day I’d have to explain myself to him, and now it’s finally here. “What I did might have seemed cruel, but I had no choice.”
“Bullshit. You had plenty of choices, and I could have given you plenty more. If only you’d had the guts to talk to me.”
“You don’t think it took guts to walk away?” I demand, grateful for the swell of anger that sharpens my words. “I had to leave behind everything and everyone I knew to get away from you. I was under no illusion about what kind of man you were back then. And I know who you are now.”
I stand by my decision, and I won’t let anyone convince me otherwise.
“You have no idea of who I am,” he says, his voice calm and yet menacing. “And clearly I didn’t know you.”
As we stare at each other, my galloping heart beats faster and faster. “What do you want from me?”
“You know what I want.”
“I’m married to–”
“I know who you’re fucking married to Belle!” he hisses. Color pinks his cheeks. “’But to be clear. This isn’t about us.” He moves his finger from me to him to drive home the point. “There is no us. I’m not here for you.”
I shake my head, knowing where the conversation is leading. Barrett warned me not to talk about Piper without a lawyer present.
“Please, Ash. Don’t make this any harder than it already is. It’s not just me who’s going to be dragged into this mess. Why can’t you just leave us alone?”
“You’ve answered your own question,” he says. “It’s not just you. I’m here for my daughter.”
“Ethan was Piper’s father,” I say, repeating the lie I’d told from before she was born.
“Don’t you dare,” he growls, taking a step closer. “No more lies.” Another step. “No more half-truths.” And another. “And especially no more lies by omission.” One final step and he’s so close I can feel his breath on my face. “No. More. Secrets.”
I barely notice the metal racking digging into my back, or the fear that should have me quaking.
My other senses are overwhelming me. Ash smells exactly as I remember.
Warm oak and rye. And as I tilt my head upwards, the hazel eyes that meet mine no longer remind me of whiskey. They’re my daughter’s eyes.
Ash places his hands on the shelf behind me, one on each side so he’s caging me in. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
A single tear trickles towards my temple. “I was too scared to face you again.”
“But you were happy to talk to Barrett,” he says. “Did you know we were related?”
“No, not while we were together,” I answer quickly.
As I swipe away my rogue tear, my diamond ring must catch the light because Ash is glowering at it again. “Then when?” he demands.
“After you’d gone home to your dad. Barrett paid me a visit.”
Ash huffs out a breath. “And do you think it was a coincidence that he turned up while my dad was on his deathbed?” He shakes his head. “That bastard must have thought all his Christmases had come at once when he realized he could use you to hurt me, especially when he found out you were pregnant.”
“I didn’t tell him I was pregnant. I didn’t dare tell anyone. I was worried you’d come after me.” My eyes bounce between his. “Don’t you understand? I was terrified of you!”
And I’m still terrified of him. I’m terrified of the feelings he evokes. He’s not a good man. He’s not a good man. I say it over and over in my head. Ash Griffin isn’t the man I fell in love with. He never was. It was all an illusion.
Veins pop in Ash’s temple. “What horror stories has Barrett been filling your head with?”
“You’re blaming Barrett? What about the horror stories you told me, Ash?” I hit back, jabbing a finger at his chest. The strike ricochets off hard muscle, but I prod him again, aiming for his heart with the pad of my finger. “You were the one who scared me off!”
He wraps his fist around my hand. I couldn’t pull away if I tried, but I don’t try. My traitor body tingles from his touch as it remembers my lost love.
“I thought I was doing the right thing, Belle,” Ash says. “It was my duty to warn you about what I was involved in. My brothers and I had just spent a fucking month in…”
His brow furrows, and as he wrestles with his thoughts, I feel that tiny bit stronger. “What happened to telling the whole truth?”
The warmth of his labored breaths washes over my face, caressing my lips. “I’ll admit I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but I would have protected you,” he says. “I would have protected our baby.”
I tense my jaw. No! It’s not good enough. He’s the goddamn reason Piper needs protecting. I aim my next strike low. “Was killing Ethan your way of protecting her, Ash?”
He pulls back with a jerk, releasing my hand.
“There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I don’t even know where to begin.
” He presses the heel of his hand against his brow and closes his eyes.
When he looks at me again, there’s pain etched into his features and bitterness on his tongue.
“Are you suggesting I had Ethan killed because he’d married you? Is that what you think of me?”
I shake my head. That wasn’t what I meant. “I’m not saying you murdered him,” I reply. I can imagine Ash is capable of many things, but he’s not a cold-blooded killer. I don’t think.
“Good,” he says. “Because I swear to you, Belle, I’ve never killed an innocent man. And I never would.”
The inference is that he has taken lives. Maybe some of those people deserved to die, but I can think of one who didn’t. “Ethan was an innocent man.”
“I don’t doubt it, but I wasn’t responsible for his death.
Either deliberately or accidentally,” he says, his tone measured.
“Despite what Barrett might have you believe, I had nothing to do with the factory fire. Yes, I have connections with the McConkeys, but I’m not involved in their day-to-day operations.
I’d never heard of Poulton Springs before the arson attack, and I had no idea that the guard who died was your husband.
Or that you were his widow. Do you think I would have put off having this conversation until now if I’d known about you and Piper? ”
“But how can I believe you?” I whisper, a crackle of desperation in my voice revealing how much I want to accept what he’s saying. It’s getting too damn hard to see Ash as the monster I’ve been running from while he’s standing right in front of me.
Is it possible I’d been too quick to accept Barrett’s theories? There’d been an investigation after the fire and it was officially classed as an accident. Maybe it was easier to believe the worst because it meant I’d been vindicated for keeping Piper a secret.
My thoughts spin as Ash leans in closer. What if he isn’t the one with the blackest heart? What if that’s me?
“I don’t expect you to take my word for it,” he says.
When our foreheads touch, I don’t push him away. It feels so achingly familiar. It feels safe, and when he takes my hand and presses my palm against his chest, I swallow a sob. His heart races in competition with mine.
“What you can do is judge me by my deeds,” he continues. “I didn’t charm you with words back in Eastham Grove, Belle. I showed you who I was. I exposed more of my feelings to you than I’ve ever shared with anyone. Not even my own brothers. Fool that I was, I thought you saw me.”
“I did see you,” I whisper. “I saw a man who was terrified of the life he was inviting me to join.”
When Ash straightens up, his stare is intense. Too intense. I feel the thud of his heart beneath my hand. “Because it was a world I was still trying to navigate. I’m sorry if that scared you too. I’m so fucking sorry.”
His confession saps the last of my willpower, and I slip my free hand beneath his jacket so only the thin fabric of his shirt separates the hard planes of his chest from my fingertips. Ash might claim that this isn’t about us, but I feel a connection being reforged whether we want it or not.
Calmness radiates from Ash’s body to mine, and as his heart rate slows, mine does too. There is an ‘us.’ For my sins, there always will be.
“You’re not the only one who wants to protect Piper, Ash. From the moment I knew I was pregnant, I put her needs above anything else.” I can’t look at him when I add, “Everything I’ve done has been with her best interests at heart.”