Chapter 22 #3
“Stop!” Ash roars. “If you want to know if you hurt me, then yes, Belle, you fucking destroyed me!” His fists clench and his jaw locks.
“Losing you crushed my heart to dust, and when I found out you’d kept Piper a secret, and that Barrett was her new daddy, I fell into madness.
I’ve never lost control like that before, but then I’d never known pain like it either.
And I never want to know pain like it again. ”
“Then hate me!” I yell back. My breath stutters with sobs I have to swallow back.
“Hate me for what I did to you! I might have been Barrett’s weapon, but I was the one who cut you.
And I knew what I was doing. I knew it when I left you all those years ago, and I knew it when I put this ring on my finger. ”
I lift up my left hand and brandish the gold band.
“Hate me, Ash,” I beg, tears rolling down my face. “Please, you have to. I don’t deserve your love.”
Ash’s chest heaves as he stares at the ring. “Take it off,” he growls.
I want to stand up to him. I want to make him so angry that he drops that cool exterior. I want him to stop dismissing the pain he suffered at my hand… my hand.
My left hand is still raised and I stare at the gold band Barrett slipped onto my finger.
It’s not as tight a fit as the invisible noose that’s been around my neck from the day I met him.
My hand starts to shake, and I fight the urge to gag as I yank the cursed thing off my finger.
It drops to the floor and I watch it roll in ever decreasing circles.
Before I know what’s happening, Ash slams against me. He pins me against the table, and as soon as my head snaps up, he wraps a hand around my throat and uses the other to rope my ponytail around his fist.
“Are you done spinning?” he asks.
“I can’t do this,” I say on a gasp. “Everything I thought was true has been shattered into a million pieces. It’s too much. And I’m too broken. I can’t begin to put it all back together. I can’t.”
Ash’s stare is cold and deadly, but there’s the faintest tic in his cheek muscles, like he wants to smile. “What did I say to you in the helicopter, Belle?”
I blink hard. I’ve no idea. I’m clinging onto reality by my fingertips.
“I said, I’ve got you,” he reminds me. “I’ve got you, Belle, and I’m going to help you put those pieces back together because you’re mine.” His thumb strokes my jawline. “You’re my woman, the mother of my child, and no one else gets to claim you ever again. Do you understand?”
When I don’t answer, he pulls my ponytail.
Hard. “You ran away, but I was the one who let you go. If you want to apportion blame, then I’m guilty too.
We’re even. And now we get to start fresh.
Us. In this room where you’re going to rebuild your father’s legacy, because that’s the woman I fell in love with.
You might have lost sight of who you are, but I see you, Belle.
” His gaze finally breaks with mine as he leans in close enough for his lips to ghost mine. “Please. Tell me you see me too.”
There’s a hint of desperation in his voice. It’s why he can’t look at me as he asks the question. As I reach for his face, his grip on my ponytail loosens. His hands drop to my waist.
“I see you, Ash,” I whisper, as I allow a final tear to slide down my cheek. “I see the man I fell in love with. The one who sacrificed his own happiness for mine. I wish I could give you back the years I stole.”
“That’s not what I’m asking for, sweetheart. I want us to look forward. There are still a few bumps in the road we need to flatten,” he says, his jaw tensing. He’s talking about Barrett. “But when you’re ready, we plan our future, and don’t you dare imagine one without me.”
I scratch my fingernails through his beard, following his tensing jaw. “I’m done running,” I whisper.
Ash presses his body against mine, and I can feel the hard ridge of his cock against my stomach.
“I’ll go wherever you lead,” I promise. “So, tell me, Ash. Where do you want me?”
“Here,” he says gruffly. “I want you here, Belle. Right. Fucking. Now.”
Our noses narrowly miss smashing together as our mouths collide. Ash seals his lips over mine and our tongues tangle. He groans, and as soon as our mouths disconnect, I tip back my head and take a gulp of air.
“I can’t breathe,” I say, sniffing back the tears that have blocked my nose. “I need a Kleenex.”
Ash watches with a bemused look on his face as I check my pocket and pull out a tissue. He takes it from me, and as he unfolds it, something drops onto the table. We both stare at the square foil wrapper.
“Do you always carry condoms, Belle?”
“I asked Tandy if she had one this morning, and you don’t want to know how that conversation went,” I say with an actual smile. We’re not through the storm by any means, but we’ve reached its center, and I want us to enjoy the momentary calm.
Ash pulls something from his pocket and sets it down next to my condom. It’s another foil wrapper. “Good to see we’re on the same page.” We’re both smiling as he brings the Kleenex to my nose. “Blow.”
I let Ash take care of me, and when he’s done, he gives my nose a final swipe.
“Can you breathe now?”
I sniff. “I’m good, thanks.”
He drops the dirty Kleenex on the floor, then stoops as if to pick it up again. Except it’s a burlap sack in his hand as he straightens.
“More surprises?” I ask.
“A good one this time,” he promises, reaching into the sack and pulling out a bottle with a red label. Ash’s name is stamped on it in gold lettering. He breaks the seal. “I thought you might need a stiff drink.”
I take the bottle in my trembling hand. “Is this…?”
Ash simply stares, absorbing my every reaction. “Taste it.”
As I bring the bottle closer to my mouth, I don’t need to taste it. My nose is clear and I know what this is. The only gulp I make is a gasp for air.
“Belle,” Ash whispers. “Put it in your damn mouth, sweetheart. And swallow.”
I bring the bottle to my trembling lips and let the warm liquid roll over my tongue. I’m staring into amber eyes that darken when the whiskey slides down my throat.
The blend has all the trademarks of a Simmons whiskey. Notes of vanilla and spices carry me back to my family, my father, my home. But the smoke that coats my tongue is pure Ash. The whiskey has trapped the fiery passion we subjected those casks to over one long, lost summer.
“It tastes like us,” I say, my voice trembling.
Ash grins. “Ready to find out how well we’ve aged?”
I go to hand him the bottle, but he refuses. “I’m flying a helicopter, remember,” he says. “But I’m happy to settle for the taste of your lips.”
Setting down the bottle, I grab hold of Ash’s shirt and pull him towards me. “Then kiss me.”
When Ash’s lips press against mine, I’m ready to float away. My feet lift off the floor as he picks me up and sets me down on top of the table. He pulls my thighs apart and as our tongues dance, I grind against his cock.
I feel a tug at my side. He’s undone my dress, and flicks one side open. His broad hand wraps around my waist, while his other hand works on the inner tie. I suck his lower lip into my mouth as he drags my dress off my shoulders.
Ash peppers kisses along my jaw and down my neck. My bra is undone and discarded by the time his mouth finds a pebbled nipple. My back arches as he licks and sucks the hardened peak, and I tilt my head back. I’m staring up at the old familiar rafters of the barn.
“I can’t believe I’m back here,” I whisper. “It’s like I’ve finally escaped the nightmare and stepped into a dream.”
“Our dream,” Ash whispers. “And one we don’t have to wake up from.”
As I bring my gaze back to him, he cups my breasts, rolling both nipples between his thumbs and fingers. He’s not as interested in the barn as he is my body. “Your nipples are darker, bigger.”
“Childbirth has also made my breasts sag and given me stretch marks,” I point out because the way he’s scrutinizing my body, he’s going to notice soon enough.
Ash’s hand slides down to my stomach and he pushes me back so I’m resting on my elbows.
I should squirm as he continues his explorations, but my insecurities vanish as he marvels at the changes in my body.
He kisses my stomach then covers his mouth over my panties.
He bites softly, tugging at the lace he’d torn during our helicopter ride.
His fingers wrap around the remaining fabric, and he rips my panties apart, leaving only scraps of lace that fall to the floor.
When Ash flattens his tongue and drags it along the length of my pussy, the intensity of the sensation makes my toes curl.
My breath catches as he sucks on my clit, then flicks his tongue over the swollen bundle of nerves.
The flutters he creates in my belly disappear too soon as he pulls away so he can devour my body with his eyes again. “You’re more beautiful than ever.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “And what about you? What changes will I find beneath that shirt?”
Ash smirks wickedly as he starts to unbutton his shirt. “Why don’t you tell me?”
As he drags his shirt over his head, my insides twist at the sight of him, and my thighs press tightly against his hips.
There are more tattoos covering his torso than before, but the ink only serves to highlight the contours of a body that hasn’t softened with age. If anything, his muscles are more defined.
I trace a serpent slithering across his abs and it ripples at my touch. I move my hand to the griffin on his chest, then follow the hard plane of muscle to a collection of other mythical creatures that have been added to the battle.
But not all of Ash’s skin is smooth and taut. I frown at the puckered flesh on his bicep that looks like an old bullet wound. Perhaps of more concern is the fresh bruising around his ribs. “You’ve been hurt.”