Finaan
Chapter twenty-four
He's Gone
He’s gone. Regret, fear, anger barrel through me. And despair?
Part of my soul grieves, a shimmering flame deep in the place where my bond with Panta lives.
It’s being stretched thin, a cord that will break if his trip to Helheim traps him there for good this time.
I’m not sure if I’d survive without it. And I have no idea what to make of that. How to live with it.
Ruxi needs help. The elves and their mounts surround the dragon, the consolation prize as their drake is whisked away by that serpent who brought us to these caves. Jormungandr always seems to emerge from nowhere and stir up shit.
He did good this time, though. He may have saved Wregen’s life.
And I’m grateful. I’m horrified and a little disgusted with myself—maybe a lot disgusted—but I need Wregen to live.
I can’t have him in my life. Our mating bond is too corrupted and broken to ever bring joy to our lives.
But his death would break something inside me.
Shaking my head to drag my thoughts out of the chaos they’re descending to, I focus on what’s happening and what I can do.
At least three dozen pairs still live, maybe more, including Balin.
He’s focused on Ruxi, ignoring me for now, and I can’t figure out why.
Wregen and Wrath rejected them. If the elves want to try to get him back—not that Hel will give him up again—I’m their only bargaining chip.
Balin must realize it too. He barks something I can’t hear, and turns toward me, nudging his unicorn into a canter. “You’ll return to álfheimr with us,” he demands when he’s close enough.
I rise to my full height, projecting Wregen’s disdain for this bastard. “I won’t. My dragon’s trapped in these caves and I’m going to her.”
“I can’t allow that,” he drawls, resting his hand on his bow as one corner of his lips lifts.
“It’s treacherous down here. You’re in danger without Wregen and his monster to protect you.
You’ll return with us.” He pauses, eyebrows punching together for a moment, before adding with the smallest bow, as if he’s doing me a favor, “I insist.” Turning, he flicks a wrist at one of the other elves, who dismounts from his unicorn and starts digging through a pack for rope, then stalks toward me.
My fingers tingle as I reach for my blades and prepare to fight my way out of this fiasco. Fuck, do I wish I had a sword. I should have stolen one from these bastards when I had a chance. But if knives are what I have, they’ll die by my blade.
“I’ll be your prisoner? Is that it?” I ask, my mind scrambling for some way to get us out of this before I’m bound and carried away.
He shrugs, that smirk turning into a scowl as he crosses his arms. “If that’s what I must do to protect you, it’s what I’ll do.”
“And what will that accomplish?” I push. “Do you think you’ll win my allegiance? That I’ll help you get Wregen back somehow? You’re no better than the monster you accuse him of being. And if you knew Hel the way you claim, you’d realize she’s never letting him go again.”
“Accuse?” he laughs. “Have you seen him? Do you have any grasp of his evil? The vile things he’s done? How the fuck can you defend him? You should want to be with me!” he finishes, swinging his arms wide.
I’m surprised he’s not pounding his chest, the asshole. This thing between him and Wregen is deep and I almost wish I could go with him just to understand what happened between them. But if they take me back to álfheimr, I’ll be the one trapped this time.
Still, it’s worth asking while we’re both here. Maybe he’ll let his guard down and give me or Ruxi a chance to figure something out.
“What is it with you two?” I ask, dropping my tone so I sound less combative. In the distance, I can see Wregen’s dragon, Svend and Rata on their back, surrounded by elves. They want Ruxi alive too. It’s a weakness we could exploit if we could speak with each other.
And what if we can? I don’t know where Panta is, and I can’t hear her, but dragons are attuned to the bond in a way that elves often aren’t. If she could hear me and relay my thoughts to Ruxi, we’d have a better chance.
Balin flicks his wrist at the rider approaching me, who draws to a stop. He’s watching my expression, as if he’s trying to decide whether to trust my question or capture me and be done with it.
I’ll play along for now.
My beautiful beast, I scream through the bond.
I don’t know if you can hear me, but I need to get a message to your draikani.
They can get us out of here. The elves won’t kill them.
Tell them I’m going to pretend to cooperate and get closer to Ruxi.
They need to capture me and fly away when they see a chance.
Some of these tunnels go up or down, and we can lose the unicorns there.
We’ll take a risk with one and hope it goes through.
If it doesn’t, we’ll need to tuck and fly through them, with a prayer to Freyr that we’re not shot along the way and that we can hide from them.
Balin leans forward, eyebrows drawn together as if he’s trying to solve a puzzle. And maybe he is. Finally, he dips his chin quickly. “Maybe you’ll understand if you know more.”
My heart pounds in my ears as I start walking toward him and Ruxi, putting my part of the plan in place, in case the dragons are able to speak. We can’t be dragged back into the sun. Our path to Panta—or Wregen?—starts in these caves.
Balin relaxes when I get closer, his hands moving to his thighs as he straightens his spine.
“Yes, it might do you good to learn more about him,” he muses, looking down at me from his perch atop his unicorn.
He’s got a haughty air to him, as if he’s doing me a favor.
The friendly elf who flirted with me when we walked in álfheimr is gone.
“I’m all ears,” I respond with an easy smile, even as my hands grow clammy. He can believe I don’t want to be taken prisoner, while still thinking I might agree to go voluntarily. If I lead him there, we might have a chance to get away.
“I’ve known Wregen a long time, since before he swore fealty to the dark queen.”
“Hel?” I assume that’s who he’s talking about, but if I can slow his storytelling down, that’s what I’ll do.
“There is no other. The rest of the pantheon is bright, full of love and light. Our Queen Haleth is a star, her shining essence a beacon in álfheimr.”
I shift my expression, lighting up like I’ve heard the best news possible. “She sounds unbelievable.” Literally unbelievable, but I don’t tell him that part.
“She is, truly,” he agrees with a nod. “It’s how I know she’ll welcome you to our home, embrace you as one of our lost elves.” His eyes grow distant, as if he’s picturing her, before he focuses again on me. “But I digress. I knew Wregen when Wrath emerged…”
“How old was he?” I ask, stretching out his walk though his memories, but also hoping he’ll answer something I’ve wondered since I met Wrath. His monster led him to an impossible decision. If the serpent appeared when Wregen was too young, he might have believed he had no choice.
“Old enough to control his beast,” Balin announces dismissively. “Old enough to know better than to swear to the dark queen.”
“But how old was he?” I push. Something about Balin’s response—its defiance, or perhaps the return of that condescending tone—tells me he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. He doesn’t want to give Wregen an excuse.
“He’d lived at least a dozen turns of the seasons before Wrath appeared,” he tells me with a shrug. “It was a difficult life. He’d learned by then how to be the male he needed to be to survive.”
“Twelve years old?” I respond, one of my eyebrows flicking up. “And you expected him to control a beast like Wrath?”
“I expected him to control himself,” Balin spits, his eyes flashing. “Will you believe anything I tell you, or are you too far gone to him already? His dark soul attracts even the best elves. I think you’re already lost.”
“Because I defend him?” My hands lift to my hips before I can stop them, Balin’s arrogance breaking through the polite interest I’m trying my damnedest to portray.
“Because you freed him,” the asshole yells, flinging his hands into the air. “He’s dangerous, and now he’s gone. I’d hoped to get through to him, convince him to abandon Hel and swear his allegiance to his true queen. You fucked it up.”
Flame ripples up my spine, spewing into every part of me.
My breath stutters, I’m so shocked at the change in this elf, who a moment ago was trying to convince me he has Wregen’s and my best interests at heart.
My legs move of their own accord, stalking toward him to drag his ass off that fancy horse and beat some respect into him.
Thank the gods, Ruxi’s got a better head on their shoulders than me.
I’m not even halfway there when they see their chance.
The elves are more focused on me than they are on the dragon, and they fling themself into the sky.
Before I can take another step, I’m in their claws and they’re throwing everything they have into their wings.
I cling to them, arms and legs wrapped around the claw holding me, and spin my head to watch for the arrows I know are coming.
Ruxi shoots up, and I realize there’s a tunnel above us I didn’t notice.
My stomach twists and I slam my mouth shut to stop the vomit that wants to spew out when I see our destination.
It’s not wide enough to slow the unicorns down much, since they’ll only need to do smaller circles.
And I don’t think we’ll be able to get through them if we have to turn around.
There’s nothing I can do about it, though. This is our path and I trust Panta’s draikani to protect us with everything they have.
Balin raises his bow, smiling at the chaos he’s about to unleash.
“We’re going to die!” Rata screams from above me, and I’m pretty sure he’s right.
And then Balin looses his arrow.