Chapter Five #2
Jesse hesitated, as though she wasn’t sure if she should say more.
Then she squared her shoulders. “They just... don’t seem like your type.
I’ve seen you have more in-depth conversations with your door.
You’re smart, successful, so why settle for superficial when you’re clearly capable of something deeper? ”
My frown softened. “You think I’m smart?”
She rolled her eyes. “You know you are. Although you don’t show it by the women you date.”
I traced my finger along the rim of my coffee cup, buying time. “Maybe I’m still figuring out what I really want. Or maybe I’ve just been waiting for someone who sees past the packaging. Someone special. Unique.”
I met her eyes then, steady and unflinching. “In the meantime, I’m not made of stone. Don’t tell me every guy you’ve dated was a deep philosophical thinker with a subscription to Scientific American.”
She made a tongue-in-cheek face. “Fair enough. Not every date has been a TED Talk. It looks like we have the same problem. Superficial, dead-end relationships.”
I propped my chin on my fist, studying her. “Any ideas on how to fix that?”
She gulped. “No idea. They say that the harder you look for something, the harder it is to find it. Sometimes, it’s better to wait until that something—or someone—finds you.”
“And how do you know when that special someone finds you?”
“If it’s special, you’ll know.”
I took a sip of coffee. “See now, I disagree. I believe in making my own luck.” I watched her over the rim of the mug. “Do you think we could save each other from shallow relationships?”
Her lips parted, but she made no sound. She didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t know what I meant. The words had just slipped out before I could analyze them, censor them, make a plan.
My phone beeped with a text.
Jesse let out a breath that sounded relieved. “You should get that.”
Reluctantly, I took the phone out of my pocket. Candi was here.
I looked up at Jesse. I couldn’t judge her expression, but I felt a wave of disapproval.
“Sorry, I have to go. Candi came over to talk.”
She smirked. “Right. Have fun. It doesn’t look as though you need saving from that relationship.”
I faced her squarely. “Look, Candi and I are not… There’s nothing serious between us. She’s not seeing me exclusively.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Are you sure about that? Or are you just assuming because it would be convenient?”
I was taken aback. “What the hell? Of course I’m sure. Besides, I don’t plan to marry her and father her children. We’re just having fun.”
“That’s a nice way to put it.” Color rose in her cheeks as she shook her head and stepped back. “It’s really none of my business. Enjoy your day and thanks for the waffles.”
My steps were hesitant as I moved to the door. “You’re welcome.”
I looked back, wanting to say something else, to glue the fragile bridge that was now cracked. Her gaze told me nothing I said would make things better.
I reached out and opened the door. “See you around.”
“Say hi to Candi.”
She slammed the door behind me.
Upstairs, Candi was waiting by my door, a shopping bag hanging from one arm, her smile wide and bright as always.
“There you are!” She kissed me quickly, sliding inside past me with effortless familiarity. “I brought Prosecco and sushi.”
Normally, I would’ve cracked a joke, stolen a kiss, and let things follow their course. But Jesse’s words kept echoing in my head.
Why do you date women you don’t seem to really connect with?
I closed the door behind us and lingered by it for a moment, watching Candi kick off her heels and flop onto my couch. She tucked her legs under herself, all glamour and practiced charm.
“Candi,” I said softly.
She glanced up at me, mid-scroll through her phone. “Mm?”
“Can we talk for a second?”
Her brows lifted. “That’s usually the start of a bad conversation.” But she set her phone aside, folding her arms.
I walked over and sat on the couch beside her. My hands itched to fidget, but I forced them still. “You need to stop wasting your time with me.”
She tilted her head, curiosity flickering across her face.
“I mean it,” I continued. “You’ve got talent, Candi. You light up a room. You’ve got the looks, the charm—you’ve got what it takes to actually do something with your life. If you want to be an actress, go be an actress. You can do it.”
She let out a soft laugh, masking something nervous. “And why can’t I see you while I’m doing that?”
“Because you need to focus,” I said honestly.
“I’m not your future, and you know it. I’m just a distraction.
And you deserve better than that. You deserve to take your acting seriously.
To stop leaning on your guy to foot the bills and start building something of your own.
You’re too smart to keep playing the side role in your own life. ”
Her smile faded. She sat straighter, eyes narrowing just slightly. “You mean my sugar daddy.”
I nodded once, unapologetic. “Yeah. You think he’s going to bankroll your dreams forever? One day he’s gone, and then what? You’re left with nothing but wasted time. You’re better than that. I’ve seen it.”
For a long moment, silence stretched between us. Then she exhaled, slow and shaky, and leaned back against the couch. “Damn, Sebastian. You’re really breaking up with me with a pep talk?”
A wry smile tugged at my lips. “I guess so. I don’t want to hurt you, Candi. I actually care what happens to you. And I don’t want to be the reason you don’t chase the life you deserve.”
Her eyes softened, and for once the giggles were gone. “No one’s ever said that to me before.”
“Maybe they should have.”
She gave a small, rueful laugh, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re a good guy, Sebastian. Just… not my guy.”
“Exactly.”
“Is it Jilly?”
I smiled at the floor. I knew she was perceptive and had good instincts. “It’s Jesse, actually. And… I don’t know. Maybe.”
She got to her feet, slipping her shoes back on with surprising composure. “Well, at least I can say I got dumped by a gentleman. She seems nice, very competent and confident.”
I stood, taking her hand to my lips and looking her in the eyes. “You’re just as nice, competent, and confident. All you need is to be more focused, and you can do anything you set your mind to do.”
She didn’t believe me.
Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Thanks for saying that.”
I pressed her hand hard. “I mean it.”
She kissed my cheek, quick and light. “Friends?”
“Always.”
“Goodbye, Sebastian.”
When the door clicked shut behind her, I stood in the silence, my chest hollow and strangely heavy. I’d cut ties with the chatter, the sweet perfume, the easy company. With an uncomplicated woman who never asked for more than I wanted to give.
What the hell was I doing?
Candi was fun and available. She didn’t expect commitment or deep conversations. She didn’t challenge me or make me question myself. With her, I knew exactly what I was getting—and what I wasn’t. No pressure, no risk, no chance of getting hurt.
And I’d just walked away from it. For what?
A woman who’d made it crystal clear she wasn’t interested?
Who’d slammed her door in my face less than an hour ago?
Jesse Nielsen was prickly, guarded, and about as accessible as Fort Knox.
She’d probably laugh in my face if I tried anything serious. Hell, she might punch me.
I could call Candi back right now. We could pretend this conversation never happened and go back to the way things were.
Candi was easy.
Jesse was impossible.
But for the first time in decades, I wanted the impossible.
I walked to the window, looking out at the city lights.
My chest still felt tight, but now it was anticipation more than regret.
I’d done the right thing. For Candi, sure, but mostly, for myself.
Because I was tired of easy and shallow.
I was tired of women who didn’t challenge me, didn’t make me want to be better.
Now all I could think about was a fiery redhead whose studio smelled of paint and turpentine, whose every word left me off balance. Damn the woman! I wanted her now more than ever.