33. Maisie #2
“Me either,” I whisper, looking up into his big green eyes.
They speak of a million emotions, but the one that catches my breath is the raw compassion.
He sees me more than anyone ever has, my brother included.
He’s dug his way under my last layer into uncharted territory, and it scares me.
What if he doesn't like what he finds? What if he changes his mind? The way he’s looking at me speaks of none of those things.
His eyes tell a completely different story.
“Are you okay?” he asks with genuine concern.
I swallow, dragging my dress back down. “Yeah, I’m perfect now.”
“We’re almost there. We could walk if you want.”
I wave him off, scooting out of his lap. “No need. I’ll be okay.”
“Swear?”
“Swear,” I whisper, a smile back on my face because of him. “Thank you again. I’ve never been able to stop a panic attack from fully taking me over before tonight. All because of you.”
“I’ll chase all your demons away for the rest of our days if that’s what it takes to keep that pretty, carefree smile on your face.
” My cheeks heat, and I turn away from him so he can’t see how deeply his words affect me.
“That pretty blush comes in a close second,” he teases, opening my door for me.
“You and your pretty words,” I joke, swatting him away when he tries to buckle me in. “I’m fine. Go drive us somewhere so I can experience this legendary date the Grayson Miles planned for me.”
He chuckles, jumping into the truck and pulling back onto the road. We drive another couple minutes before we’re turning into an abandoned parking lot. Grayson’s hand remained firmly planted on my knee the entire way, making sure I was okay.
I prepare to get out, but Grayson keeps driving right over the sidewalk. “Have you gone mad?” I squeak when we bump over it.
“Trust me, honey. It’ll be worth it.” He winks at me before veering left down a narrow path barely big enough for his truck. It opens a second later, and my breath hitches in my throat. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
I lean forward in my seat, trying to get a better look. “It’s magnificent. People could write books based on this place.”
Grayson brings the back of my hand to his lips, kissing it. “Well now you can, beautiful.”
Goddamn this man is a sweet talker. I’m still shocked I haven’t fallen to my darkest desires since living under the same roof. A girl can only be so strong for so long.
Grayson flips the truck around and backs us right up to the edge before throwing it in park. He runs around to open my door like a gentleman. I look at him, confused, but I take his hand anyway.
“Trust me.” He leads me to the bed of the truck.
The scene looks straight out of a romantic comedy movie from the early 2000s.
The truck bed’s cleaned out and full of blankets and pillows.
“Wait right here.” He rushes back into the cab, pulling out a bag he must have hidden under one of the seats.
He dangles the bag in front of my face. “Can’t forget the snacks! ”
I let out a snort, snatching the bag from him. “A man after my own heart,” I tease before I freeze. We lock eyes, both unsure what to say after that.
Is that what this is? Does he want to keep me here, in Lupine, with him? Do I want to stay? My feelings on that have been changing daily. It's confusing on the best of days.
“I just know how hangry you get,” he shoots back, giving me a flirty wink to drop the tailgate. I roll my eyes, which has Grayson charging me and throwing me over his shoulder.
“Hey,” I laugh, “I’m going to drop the snacks.”
“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” he rasps, plopping me down on the tailgate.
I’m stunned, frozen, when I take in the scenery behind Grayson.
A canyon opens up, winding rivers snaking through it with the most beautiful sunset slowly sinking low in the sky.
It looks like an oil painting, bright pinks and reds making bold strokes through the canyon slopes.
We are parked right at the edge of a cliff drop off, overlooking it all.
“It’s breathtaking,” I marvel.
“It truly is,” Grayson whispers, but when I turn to look at him, he’s not staring out at the canyon. He’s not even facing it.
I make room for him, scooting back until I’m pressed against the pillows, leaning on the truck bed window. He shuffles up next to me, moving the snacks between us so we aren’t separated. His arm snakes around me, drawing me close and throwing a blanket over us.
I melt into him, drawing in a deep breath. “This is perfect, Grayson. Thank you.”
His thumb strokes my scar under the blanket.
“I used to come to this spot when I first moved here. I accidentally stumbled on it when I took a wrong turn. I’ve never seen a single car parked in the lot, like some forgotten treasure.
I like to think it’s my own sanctuary put here for when I need a breather.
There’s nothing like nature. These canyons have a way of reminding me nothing is permanent.
I like to watch the curves of the river and pretend that all my worries are washing away with them. ”
“You’ve officially taken spot number one for my most memorable first date, that’s for sure. Have you wowed all the women you’ve dated by bringing them here?” I tease, but there’s a little insecurity that lies behind my words. The roots rustle ever so slightly.
“It’s only you, Maisie. Always you. No one has broken through my barriers the way you have,” he promises.
“Not all of them,” I whisper, deciding I'm tired of ignoring the one thing that’s been on my mind.
“I like you a lot, Grayson. And it scares the shit out of me, if I’m being honest, but I can’t keep walking with a blindfold on, wondering if I’m heading towards heaven or a blazing fire.
I need the truth, even if it’s ugly. If you feel this as deeply as I do, then you need to trust me.
Let me in, please,” I beg, laying my heart on the line one last time.
This is it for me. If he keeps pushing me away, my mind is made up, and I’ll be heading back to New York without a single look back. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since coming here, it’s that it’s okay to choose myself for once.
“You want all of me, honey? The ugly truth? I’ll tell you, only because I fear losing you more than I fear them, and that’s an unfathomable amount.
All I’ve ever done is try to keep you safe, all of you.
My sister, the Foxes, and now you. I did my part—put my head down and paid my dues—but it wasn’t enough, and now, I’m in over my head. ”
I place my palm over his hand still stroking my thigh. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He nods, clearing his throat and looking out at the canyon.
“It all started when Laine got sick. Cancer. The day she called me crying was the worst day of my life. She was so young. She still is. She’s my little sister; I was supposed to protect her, and I failed.
I couldn’t understand after everything she’s been through that it could get worse. ”
He pauses, his jaw grinding. “She needed a lifesaving surgery, one we couldn’t afford.
I was desperate and out of options. I would have done anything to keep her alive, and I still would.
A man approached me in the hospital lobby late one night.
He must have read the sheer panic and desperation written on my face.
He played into it, acting sympathetic to my pain and wanting to help me.
He said he ran a small recreational fighting club. ” He scoffs, seething.
“He pulled out a wad of cash, more than enough to fund Laine’s surgery, and said I could pay it back by fighting in his club.” His pleading eyes turn to me. “I didn’t know the monster I was making a deal with. I saw the money and a solution to all our problems, and I took it.”
He strokes my scar again. “The man who gave me the money ended up being the head of one of the largest mafias in America, operating right here, under our fucking noses. His fighting club is actually an illegal fighting ring. They make us fight like animals for their entertainment with no end in sight. If they call, I come.”
His face turns desperate under the dying sun.
“I swear to you, I tried to walk away. I want no part of this. I’ve paid all my money back and then some, but they don’t care.
He doesn’t care. They’ve leashed me like a pet, and, anytime I step out of line, they threaten the people I care about, like you.
That’s why I pushed you away for so long.
I didn’t want them learning about you. I couldn’t let them have you too.
But I couldn’t help myself. You drew me in like an addiction, and that night, when you ran out of my truck, something snapped in me.
I knew I had to do something, or I would risk losing you forever.
But by doing so, I damned the both of us.
I’m so sorry, Maisie. I wish I was a better man, but you make me pathetic in my need to have you. ”
I have no words.
Research notes: cowboys are thieves.