Maisie
. . .
FORTY-TWO
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.
Jesus, make it stop. The constant beeping has slowly drawn me from my sleep until it becomes so persistent, I slam my eyes open—or more like peel.
My head swims with the blinding light that floods in. I use my arm as a shield, and that’s when I realize I’m in a hospital, gown and all, with an IV in my arm. I’m assaulted by memories of waking up alone in the hospital as a kid.
The beeping becomes louder until the machine is blaring out of control. A nurse runs in, checking over my vitals and flashing a light in my eyes. “Hi, Maisie, I’m Harley. How are you feeling?”
I shy away from her light while she taps away at the beeping machine. My voice refuses to work. “G-gray,” I mumble, licking my chapped lips. I look around frantically for him. There’s no way he would leave me.
“Stay calm for me, honey. You’re still recovering. Can you feel this?” She taps my feet, then my hands. I nod. “That’s great news.” She beams.
Honey. The word doesn’t sound right on her lips. My panic flares. Maybe he stepped out to get coffee? He can’t. He wouldn’t.
“I’m going to give you a little something to help you relax.” She pushes a button, and liquid flows through my IV line.
“No,” I mumble, instantly feeling drowsy. My headache disappears, along with the pain when I take a breath. It also takes away my coherent thoughts. I forget what I was even worried about and fall back into a deep sleep.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.
This time, when I wake, I don’t immediately panic. I’m still in a hospital room, the sterile smell drawing me from my slumber. The seat next to my bed sits empty.
He’s not here.
There’s already a nurse in here. She smiles at me when she sees me awake. “Hi there,” she says, checking over my vitals and updating my chart.
“Where’s Gray?” I rasp. “How long have I been here?” I have so many questions, but those are my top priority. I stay calm this time as I wait for answers.
The new nurse’s eyebrows pinch. “I’m not sure who you’re talking about, but you’ve been here going on four days now.”
“What?” I can feel that panic setting in. I tamper it so they don’t drug me again. I feel much better now, and being here is causing more harm at this point.
“You are healing up nicely; if all goes well today with your test, you should be free to go home,” she cheers, reading the worry on my face wrong. I don’t care about me. I want Gray.
“How did I get here?”
Her eyebrows furrow. “I’m not sure, dear. I’ve been off the past few days. I was just assigned to you. No one has been in here today.”
She has to be mistaken. “Who’s in charge?” I demand.
“I can notify the doctor on call,” she rushes, and that’s when I see it: the little note left on my bedside table, addressed to me. My heart bottoms out, knowing what’s coming.
“No need,” I whisper, picking up the note. “Some privacy would be nice, actually. I’m feeling tired.”
“No worries, dear. Just click that button if you need anything.” She smiles before slipping out the door.
My hands shake when I bring the note to my face, the tears already falling.
Maisie,
Time has finally caught up to us. We aren’t good for each other.
This was a dream while it lasted, but you’re a liability that’s going to get us both killed if we continue this way.
It’s best if you go back to your life, the one you’ve dreamed about since you were a little girl.
I don’t need you here getting mixed up in mine.
It’s better this way, for the both of us.
I’ve already taken the liberty of having your stuff packed and shipped back to New York.
Lan set you up with a temporary place until you figure out where you want to live.
Hunter has been taking care of Evie. You can grab her on your way out of town.
I have a plane ticket with your name on it—you just have to book it.
This was always supposed to be temporary. You and me. Lupine. You have your life in New York, and I have mine here. I told you I don’t do relationships. All I do is ruin the things I touch. I can’t be the man you need, the one you deserve.
Don’t call or text. I’ve moved on, and so should you. We are fire, and you deserve wind, someone to breeze through life seamlessly with and put out your fires, not start them. You’re a liability that’s not worth keeping.
Have a good life, honey,
-Grayson
Liability? Have a good life? Is he fucking kidding me? I thought he was falling for me, that I could trust him with my heart. He’s wrong. I don’t want a boring wind. I want fire, like my mother always predicted for me.
I want him.
He doesn’t want me, though. He said so himself. Is he lying? Trying to push me away the only way he knows how? How could he walk away and forget everything between us? He was in just as deep as me. There’s no making up what we shared.
But he left me here, in a hospital, just like when I was eight. Hurt, alone, and scared. If he truly loved me, he would never abandon me. He would protect me, my heart included.
Love is a joke, a made up feeling people chase their whole lives. What a load of shit. All love has ever gotten me is heartache and abandonment issues.
I won’t let him break me.
My phone sits untouched on my bedside table. I try to call him, but it goes to voicemail without even ringing. He’s blocked me. I dial Hunter next, begging her to come pick me up.
I don’t let the tears fall. I won’t give him the satisfaction. If I don’t cry, it means he can’t win, that I’m not fully broken.
I rip my IV out when Hunter texts she’s here and slip out my door to the parking garage.
It’s time to start the life I’ve always dreamed of, one where I take the reins for once. I can have enough love for myself to fill my cup.
Research Notes: never fall for a cowboy’s lies.