Grayson
. . .
FORTY-SEVEN
My knuckles rasp against the mahogany, and I wait. Is this a bad idea? Most definitely, but nothing's holding me back anymore. I don’t deserve a single word from her, but I want them all the same. I want everything, and I think she might too.
A couple minutes go by. I look at my watch, realizing it’s only half past eight in the morning.
Is she even awake yet? My brain wanders to other things she could be doing.
Now, I feel like an idiot for even coming.
What the fuck was I thinking? For all I know, she could be happy and in love, and I’ve come barging in like a wrecking ball once again.
I drop the Lupines at her door, accepting my fate, but one word knocks the breath out of me.
“Gray?” Maisie whispers, her eyes both wide and sleep-ridden. They look red and swollen too. She’s in a pink silk nightgown sitting mid-thigh, detailed with lace.
Fuck, I’ve missed her so goddamn much. Just one look at her has me speechless. This angel fallen from heaven has me thoroughly under her spell. She’s even more stunning now, if that’s even possible. How I’ve gone this long without her is beyond me.
She cracks the door, peeking down the hall. “What are you doing here?”
Her foot knocks the flowers over, drawing her attention. Her eyes widen and then flutter up to mine.
I clear my throat as I pick up the flowers and hand them to her. “I brought you…these.” I brought you these? Really, Grayson? That’s all you could come up with?
Her eyes turn glassy. “You flew all the way to New York to…bring me flowers?” Her brows pinch.
“Yes, well, no. Fuck, I’m already messing this up.” I chance gripping her chin between my fingers, searching her eyes. “Was it true?”
“What?” she breathes, blinking up at me with those decimating eyes.
I stroke my thumb over her cheek. “I read it.” I slip her book from my jacket. “Every last word,” I punctuate, drawing her closer and smashing the flowers between us. “Is it true?”
“How are you even here? Are you real?” she mutters.
“As real as the words I read on your page, I’m hoping. I booked the first flight out after reading it. I had to see you, to know if it’s really true.”
She shakes her head against my palm in disbelief. “It was only published yesterday, Grayson,” she laughs.
“It could have been published an hour ago, and I would still be here, fighting for us,” I declare.
What I don’t add is, wondering if I gave up the best thing of my life.
I stalked her socials every day, watching her follow her dreams she started on the ranch with me.
She looked high on life in all her photos.
Each smile solidified pushing her away was the right decision.
Until yesterday.
I read every page, acknowledgements and all.
I couldn’t put it down. It was us, woven into parchment, ink on a blank canvas.
When I read the last line, my world flipped upside down, and a little ball of hope bloomed in my chest. Just a flicker, but that’s all I needed to hop on the first flight and demand answers.
It made me question every smile I've seen online, every decision I forced her into, thinking it was for the best.
“You promised you wouldn’t push me away. You promised,” she whispers, choking on a sob.
“I know, honey. I messed up, like always.” My heart can’t handle her tears. I pull her into my chest, and her tiny fists beat into me like a drum with each sob.
“You.” Hit. “Promised.” Hit. “Me!” I take each blow, hugging her tighter until she’s melting into me, right where she belongs. My missing piece, finally fitting back into place.
“And I’ll never forgive myself for it, but my number one priority is keeping you safe. It will always be you.”
“And you? Am I not allowed to keep you safe too?” she heaves.
“Not if I’m the monster bringing demons to your door. That's on me to fix.”
She sniffles, bringing those big honey eyes to mine. “And…is the problem fixed?”
I stroke her hair. “Yeah, Mais, the threat is gone. I’m free, and those bastards will never touch you again. I made sure they paid in blood—all of them.” Moretti is still working on bringing the sex trade to the ground, but things are moving in the right direction.
She fully breaks this time, but these tears are for a different reason. They aren’t sad tears, but tears of liberation, of lost time and hopeful futures.
“How long?”
“Has the threat been gone?” I clarify, and she nods. “The week after you left. I couldn’t wait any longer with your life in the balance. It’s still hard to breathe every time I think of that night and how I failed you. I will never forgive myself, and I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t either.”
“Six months of pain,” she cries, her wide eyes searching mine.
“You left me alone for six months. Why? I woke up in the goddamn hospital room alone! The one person I needed was nowhere to be seen. Do you have any idea how many memories that brought up, being there? So what, you just eliminated the threat—and me—from your life and just…moved on like nothing happened?”
I walk her through her door, slamming it shut so we have some privacy.
I tuck a strand of wild bedhead behind her ear.
“Of course fucking not. I’ve thought about you every single minute since I left you in that hospital room.
I sat there with you until I knew you were okay.
It ripped my heart in two when I walked out of that room.
You own the deed to it now. Don’t you understand that?
It’s not mine—it’s yours. It’s been yours for a long time,” I declare against her lips.
“Then why did you never come back to get it?” Her voice is a broken whisper.
“You seemed happy. You were chasing your dreams, doing all the things you craved. You were–are so extraordinary. In a world full of daisies, you’re a lupine, standing tall amongst the rest. You’re so vibrant and full of life, and I was only going to dull you if I brought you back to me.”
Her face falls. “That wasn’t your decision to make. You know nothing of what I’ve been through here.”
I grip her hands in mine. “You’re right.
I don’t claim to know your pain, but I would love to if you’d let me.
I was weak and ran from us. I'm tired of being a coward when it comes to you. I want to love you loudly. Through every rainstorm and broken whiskey bottle. Fill up every room in our house with mini yous. I want all of you forever, honey.” I have to know if there’s still a chance here.
“Did you mean what you wrote?” I hold my breath, waiting for this to blow up in my face.
The air seems to freeze between us as she searches my eyes, and then, a switch flips. She throws herself into my arms. “Every fucking word. Fuck, I’ve missed you so much, Gray. Life isn’t the same without my mouthy cowboy.”
“Thank God,” I groan, picking her up and spinning us around.
She giggles into my chest, wrapping her legs around me.
“I’m never letting you go again.” I drop her and take her face in my hands, letting her see my truth.
“Fuck, I love you so much, it hurts,” I whisper against her lips.
“You are my forever epilogue.” I crash my lips to hers.
She moans into my mouth—until my words register. She pushes my face away, her hands trembling on my cheeks. “You…you mean it?”
I tip up her chin. “I fell in love with you the minute those two-toned honey eyes ensnared me. I’m such a goner.
I consider myself a strong man, but my defenses were like paper when it came to you.
Shutting you out hurts worse than letting myself have a single taste.
I’m tired of chapters—I want the whole damn book, Maisie. I want you.”
I drop my forehead to hers. “I’m calling saddle.
I can’t live another minute in pain without you.
So, if you’ll have me, I vow to love you for the rest of my days.
My infinite love. You don’t deserve a life of tears.
You’ve earned a life full of smile lines painted across your beautiful face.
I love you, Maisie Rae Brooks. So, what do you say?
Would you do me the honor of being mine? ”
“I knew this slutty mustache was going to be a problem,” she breathes and grips my shirt to pull me into her.
“I love you, Grayson Miles, with every last beat my heart has to give. I don’t want an easy love.
I want fire, an epic love story like the ones I write about.
I never thought love was in the cards for me, but you are the whole damn card, baby.
If you ever do that to me again, though, I’ll have your balls so fast, I swear to God. Now, fucking kiss me.”
God, I’ve missed her dirty mouth. I kiss her with the fire and passion she yearns for, show her with my body exactly how much I’ve missed her and how much I love her with everything I have. It’s hers—it always has been.
I’m not sure I would have survived another day without her. She is my remedy, my salvation, my home.
She is mine.