Chapter 12
J alon lingered outside before going back to the house.
He stared at the land again, the outlines of the corn stubble barely visible in the shadowed light of dusk.
If he didn’t get a job soon, he’d miss the planting season because he couldn’t afford to buy seeds.
He’d also inspected his father’s plow, and it needed repair.
The two old draft horses might be able to plow one more year, but he’d need to purchase a new pair and break them in by next year.
That would cost a lot of money. Money he didn’t have.
He turned to go inside, tired of dwelling on his problems. The kitchen was dark.
He turned on the lamp and it hissed to life.
He opened the oven, expecting to see a foil-covered platter sitting on top of the rack.
The Hunan beef should still be good. If not, he’d heat it up on the stove. He was used to leftovers.
The oven was empty.
He walked over to the opposite counter, which was spotlessly clean like the rest of the kitchen.
He opened a couple of cabinets, even though it didn’t make sense that Phoebe or Karen would put leftovers in the cupboards.
When he didn’t find anything, he shut the doors, then looked down at the trash can beside the counter and saw clumps of Hunan beef.
Sighing, he walked away, his stomach still hungry but his appetite gone. Yeah, he deserved that. She’d prepared the meal for him and he’d left without eating it.
“You’re a jerk, you know.”
Jalon looked up to see Karen in the doorway, her arms crossed over her body, clearly recovered from the spicy food. “I know.”
“If you know, then why are you acting this way?”
He sank down onto one of the kitchen chairs. “That’s something I don’t know.”
Karen joined him at the table. “Why don’t you geh talk to her?”
“And say what?”
“That you care about her. That you love her?”
He blinked. “How do you—”
“Know that you’re in love?” Karen rolled her eyes. “It’s obvious to everyone. I can’t believe she hasn’t figured it out by now. You two ...” She shook her head. “I don’t know why you’re both making this so complicated.”
Because it is . Jalon rubbed his hand over his face. “I can’t tell her how I feel.”
“Why not?” She leaned back in the chair, her arms crossed again. “Jalon, I knew you were thickheaded. I didn’t realize your head was as thick as a brick.”
“You should mind yer own business.”
“Right now this situation is mei business. The only reason I’m here is to keep an eye on you two, although Daed had nothing to worry about. You can’t even be in the same room together for more than five minutes without one of you running away from the other.”
“She wants to leave. She has a cousin in Ashtabula—”
“I know. Unlike you, I talk to her.” She got up and headed for the doorway to the living room. “Did you ever think if you were honest with her about how you feel, she wouldn’t want to leave?”
With that, Karen left, and Jalon stared at the empty doorway. She was right. He was making this complicated. He loved Phoebe ... he never actually stopped. Simple as that. It was past time he showed her how much. Whatever her response to his feelings were, he’d handle it.
Thursday afternoon Phoebe sat on the front porch and watched Malachi and Karen’s youngest brother, Judah, chase each other around the yard.
Blue curled up beside her, and she was glad for once to get the cat’s attention.
She stroked Blue’s back as Judah ran several feet in front of Malachi, then slowed down a bit so he could catch up.
Judah was almost eight, but he didn’t seem to mind playing with Malachi.
As for Malachi, he was screeching, laughing, and having a great time.
A part of her enjoyed seeing him having so much fun, while the rest of her knew it would be short-lived.
She hadn’t received a reply from her cousin yet, but if she didn’t hear from her by Saturday, she would figure out other arrangements. Jalon left before Phoebe and Karen got up, cementing in Phoebe’s mind that he was avoiding her.
“Judah! Malachi!” Karen said when she came outside. “Cookies and milk are ready.”
Malachi and Judah skidded to a stop on the damp grass. The snow had melted that morning, but it was still cold enough for Phoebe and the boys to wear coats. They scampered up to the house and slipped off their boots on the front porch. Malachi paused to pet Blue before going inside.
“Are you coming in?” Karen asked.
“In a minute.”
“Stay out here as long as you want. I’ll keep an eye on the buwe .”
Phoebe looked over her shoulder. “You don’t mind?”
“Not at all.” She smiled. “More milk and cookies for us.”
Phoebe smiled. She brought her knees up to her chest and watched as a few birds pecked on the grass, now that the boys weren’t running all over it. For a minute she thought about getting her sketchbook, then remembered she didn’t have one anymore.
She started to get up, pushing Blue to the side a bit, when a car pulled into the driveway.
She recognized it as the taxi Jalon took to work every morning.
She should have gone inside at that moment.
She could play the ignoring game as well as Jalon.
Yet as he got out of the car—tall, lanky, and handsome—her breath hitched.
Why wouldn’t her heart do what her mind had already done—dropped Jalon Chupp like a hot potato?
But that wasn’t right either. Her mind was also betraying her, because all she could do was sit there and watch him as he leaned through the window of the passenger door and handed the driver his money for the ride.
Not wanting to get caught staring, she stood up and stepped back, only to hear a shriek from Blue that shot straight through her spine.
She looked down as the cat dashed off and realized she’d stepped on his tail.
“Sorry, Blue.” When she looked up, the taxi was pulling away, and Jalon was walking toward her.
She turned around, ready to go in the house.
“Phoebe.”
She twisted her fingers together. Maybe this was it. He was going to tell them he’d made a mistake and they had to leave.
“Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
Swallowing her nerves, she nodded.
“Not here.” He looked around at the empty yard. “I was thinking somewhere more private.”
Oh, this wasn’t good. Whatever he had to say to her, he wanted it out of Malachi’s earshot. “We have privacy here. Karen and the buwe are inside,” she said.
“ Buwe? ”
“Judah’s here.”
Jalon nodded. “Karen said he might be coming over. It’s good for Malachi to have company, ya ?”
“ Ya. ” She and Jalon were on shaky ground, but he had a soft spot for her son, and that meant everything to her.
He opened the front door. “I’ll let Karen know you and I will be gone for a little bit.”
Gone? She couldn’t even nod as he brushed past her to go inside. Where were they going?
After a minute he came back out, but she didn’t move. Forgetting her awkwardness around him, she said, “What’s going on, Jalon?”
He pushed his hat back from his head. “ Nix. And that’s the problem.”
“What?”
“I’ll explain everything in a minute.” He walked down the porch steps. Then he turned around and extended his hand toward her. “Come with me, Phoebe.”
She couldn’t resist him when he sounded like that.
Confident. In command but not pushy or overbearing.
Letting her know that he was secure in what he wanted .
.. and right now he looked like he wanted her.
As tired as she was of these seesawing emotions, she went to him.
She stared at his hand, not knowing if he expected her to hold it or if he’d made the gesture just to get her off the porch.
Before she could decide what to do he dropped his hand.
Phoebe walked with him past the field. “This is where mei daed used to farm,” he said. “Last year he stopped.”
“Why?”
“He gave up. That’s the short answer.”
She looked at his profile, saw his jaw clench.
“He was never able to make a real geh of things here. He tried. I tried to help him ...” He didn’t finish, and Phoebe didn’t pry further.
They were walking past the field, Phoebe noticed, and toward a copse of woods. She wondered where he was taking her, but she didn’t dare interrupt him.
“When mei parents decided to geh back to Mespo, Leanna and I wanted to stay. We’ve been in Birch Creek most of our lives. This is home to us.” He glanced at Phoebe. “There are a lot of great things about Birch Creek.”
“Like?”
“Like this.” They walked into the woods, which really weren’t woods but just some thick trees surrounding a small pond. A wooden bench was positioned near the bank. It was a perfectly hidden little oasis.
“I spent a lot of time here when I was a kin .” He moved toward the bench. “Not as much when I started working construction and ...” He cleared his throat. “I like to come here and think. It’s peaceful.”
She looked around, listened to the bullfrogs, the chirping birds. The trees were tall and so crowded together that it cut down the sunlight by half.
“It’s a great fishing pond. Leanna likes to skate on it during the winter, although the past couple of winters it hasn’t frozen over completely.” He bent down and picked up a rock, then tossed it on the pond. It bounced off the ice. “I guess it did this year.” He went and sat down on the bench.
When he looked up at her, her breath caught. Gone was the sullenness. The awkwardness, the trepidation. The confusion, the betrayal. All that was replaced with an almost searing attraction. He seemed like the man she knew from his letters.
“Sit with me.”
She couldn’t resist his offer. She sat beside him, and he angled toward her.
“I owe you an apology.”
“You don’t owe me anything—”
He held up his hand. “I do. I’ve had a lot on mei mind and I’ve been acting like a jerk. I’m sorry about that.”
He stared out at the pond and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “I’ve been confused.”
“About ... about us?”