Chapter Thirteen
Zander
When I get to Gran’s house for tea the next day, the first thing Lucy does is take a huge dump. I did not expect it. I especially did not expect it dead smack in the middle of the driveway.
I groan and pull a poop bag from the dispenser on her leash. She kicks her back legs against the asphalt while I bend to collect at least a pound of shit.
“I know what you eat, but, girl, what did you eat?” I ask.
Lucy turns her head and gives me some nasty side eye before heading up the driveway on her usual trek to grandma’s house. I drop her leash and let her go wait on the porch for me. She lays down on Gran’s welcome mat, tail thumping on a printed ladybug. I straighten with a sigh.
“Hey,” a vaguely familiar man says as he passes the house.
Vaguely familiar means nothing in this town.
I probably know him from some version of my life here.
Though, I feel like I know this guy from something recent.
His grey-blond hair and angular, almost too pointed jaw are so distinct, and he’s frowning at me like he knows what I’ve done.
It’s also possible he just reminds me of the guy from Atlantis. I could be overthinking this.
I nod back to him. “Hey.”
He looks between me, Gran’s modest bungalow, and the car with a line of rubber ducks along the dashboard parked by the curb. Which, on closer inspection, must belong to Addie. Huh. I respect Gran’s game.
“Sorry, but did I see you at the library yesterday?” he asks. He pulls out an AirPod and shoves it into the pocket of his hoodie.
“Oh, uh, yeah. I was working there for a bit.”
“With Adelaide, right?”
There’s something about the way he says her name that raises all my alarms and every hair on my body. Aw, shit. He’s her ex, isn’t he?
“Yeah, we were both working on our current projects. Having a little writing date.”
I realize, though it was, in fact, a writing date, it’s the wrong term to use in front of him. He covers it well, but I see the momentary twitch of his lips.
“We went to school together,” he says and takes a step toward me. Lucy barks from the porch, making him jump. “Not sure you remember. I’m Daniel.”
I could be polite and say I remember him. I know that’s what he’s expecting. I also know if I claim I have no recollection of him because parts of my brain are in self-protection mode and make me forget, especially when it comes to my childhood, he’ll take this personally. So I nod and smile.
“Yeah, long time ago now. It was nice seeing you again.”
Daniel doesn’t take the hint as I turn away. Instead, he reaches out and grabs hold of my upper arm. I don’t intentionally flex the bicep, but he shrinks back when I do.
“You better treat her right, man. I always thought you were weird growing up and everything I thought about you was confirmed when you left town. We don’t want you here.
Does she know what you did?” he says then shakes his head.
Hurt and anger swirl in my stomach. “Of course she does. She’s just glass half-fulling it again.
You’re lucky you met someone so na?ve. I won’t let you pull a fast one on her. ”
I grit my teeth and walk toward the house.
Lucy stands before I’m even on the porch.
Her tail’s at a standstill, head lowered as she stares down the man on the sidewalk.
She lets out a low growl, then huffs and paws at the welcome mat.
I bend down for her leash, then straighten and fish in the pocket of my jeans for Gran’s house key.
I see no one in the reflection of her front door. That douchebag’s walked away.
“Gran?” I call as I step into the house.
“No, this is Patrick,” Addie says, poking her head out from the doorway of Gran’s sitting room.
I hear the clatter of ceramic against ceramic before Addie steps around a pillar and into the front hall.
She is literal sunshine. Her shorts are decorated with appliqué sunflowers and her hair is held back with a bright yellow bow.
For the briefest moment, my thoughts completely stop.
I have one shoe on and my head is empty as this beautiful woman rushes toward me.
There may as well be a spotlight shining behind her she is so goddamn perfect.
Addie throws herself into my arms. I drop Lucy’s leash and wrap myself around Addie as her arms loosely loop around my neck.
I could die happy with the crush of her body against mine.
She tilts her head up, smirks, and waits.
I try to behave. I count to five before allowing myself to lean in and kiss her.
And just like the last time, her mouth is heaven.
She fully takes my breath away with a few brushes of her lips.
“Surprise,” she whispers when she pulls back. “For both of us. I didn’t realize Peggy had invited you.”
“I should have known. Gran likes you too much to stay out of it.”
She squeezes my shoulder as she pulls away from me. “I think it’s probably the other way around. Did you know she’s, like, obsessed with you? The embarrassingly lovely things I have heard about you in the last half hour…She’s very happy you’ve found someone. Shame it’s a silly goose like me.”
I catch her hand, wheel her back in. Our bodies draw together like magnets. I run my thumb underneath her chin, feel her breath against my mouth. There’s fire in her eyes.
“I’m quite fond of silly geese.”
“Are you?”
“Zander!” Gran yells from the back of the house. She appears as if out of nowhere, though I assume it was the kitchen, with a cup and saucer in hand. “I’m so glad you could join us!”
“You know I’m always happy to be here,” I say.
Addie frees herself from my grasp and returns to the sitting room. Gran gives me a one-armed hug, then shifts the cup of tea to my hands. She pats the back of my hand, blinks up at me with an I am completely innocent kind of look.
“I won’t keep you long, honey,” she whispers.
“You’re sneaky,” I reply in the same tone.
She taps her nose. I follow her into the sitting room.
It’s the first room in her bungalow, overlooking her front garden from a bay window.
She’s arranged all her furniture around a large, oval coffee table.
The white loveseat with tiny pink roses faces the window and two blush recliners sit on each end of an oval round.
Gran ushers me onto the loveseat next to Addie with a satisfied smirk.
Lucy bounds over and settles between mine and Adelaide’s feet with a contented huff.
I let out a sigh of my own, coming down from the adrenaline of just seeing Addie, and levelling in some serious feelings of self-doubt.
It’s the last place I want to be, a spiral I’m entirely too familiar with. But Daniel’s words echo in my brain. We don’t want you here.
Addie squeezes my knee. I let my eyes fall shut in an attempt to ground myself in the moment. Addie’s opinion is the only one that matters. Gran’s opinion is the only one that matters. My opinion is the only one that matters.
And yet, I find myself unwilling, or perhaps, unable, to participate in the conversation.
Goddammit. Come on.
Focus.
But I can’t get it. So I stop trying.
“Mmm, no. Don’t apologize,” Addie says, well after I’ve lost track of the conversation. “Family dynamics are hard.”
“You’re not wrong that we were all navigating some hard things, but it’s still my biggest regret.”
I don’t need any further context. I know what Gran’s biggest regret is and it eats me up inside. I stare at the untouched cup of tea on the coffee table in front of me and disassociate further.
I don’t need to hear about when my grandpa died.
The universe decided my comfort and safety was unimportant that October sixteen years ago.
My grandpa passed away two days after my stint in the ER, so when Gran was asked if she’d be able to take care of me, she was too entrenched in grief to say yes.
Grieving the loss of her one true love, and a wayward daughter who she’d grown to fear.
She didn’t know what would happen if she took me in; whether my parents would come after her or if she was even capable of raising a child troubled by circumstances outside of his control.
She isolated herself. She didn’t see me again until there were bars between us.
For years, this hurt me. I appreciated her coming back into my life and helping me get on my feet again. The love and support I hadn’t been given for twenty-one years. It was a finally. But it was also a what the fuck took so long?
“It matters that you’re here now,” Addie says. She squeezes my knee, drawing my attention away from the drone of existential dread. “We all deserve second chances. I firmly believe that. I actually wish more people were willing to give.”
“What do you mean?” Gran asks.
“I mean that not everyone is good or evil. I could say my mom is a terrible person, and maybe she is, for leaving me and my dad like she did. But I’m also open to a second chance, should that ever come up.
We all make really stupid mistakes, but we don’t have to hold onto them forever.
” A weight lifts off my chest, and I actually believe things could be okay.
And then, she exhales. Just the way she does it sets me on edge.
“I’m actually kind of fighting with my dad. ”
Fuck.
“Addie.” I breathe.
My stomach twists. Because I don’t want to hear this. I don’t want to be the reason there’s a wedge between them.
“Zander, no, it’s fine,” she insists. I meet her eyes and try to hold onto the reassurance I see reflected. She brings her hand up to my cheek and caresses me gently. “It’s not your problem or your fault. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“It’s about me, isn’t it?”
Her hand slides down to my chest, flattens against my ribcage where my heart is pounding.