Chapter Thirty-Eight Sage
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Sage
Even though I’m not looking forward to the insane amount of preparation ahead, I am looking forward to a busy day.
I’m going to have a lot to film. Plus, helping my parents with everything they need before the festival begins is going to put my mind far from Travis Blacksburg. It’ll be a much-needed reprieve.
Not only am I going to be filming the actual festival for my vlog, but I’m also going to have an entire video series about the commune. When I’ve mentioned it to people in the past, they’ve all been very curious about where I grew up, and now is the perfect time to give them that information.
“What’s up, travelers!” I excitedly say into the camera.
Filming today, I don’t have any fancy lighting or microphones, just a lavalier on top of my camcorder and the beautiful sunlight shining down.
“Today I’m filming in the commune I grew up in.
Sunroot has been around for decades, and one of its most exciting features is the annual summer solstice festival. ”
I point the camera at my father, who is standing in the center of the commune with a clipboard, frantically flipping through papers as he directs people where to go.
“Say hi, Dad!” I say, waving in front of the camera. He is momentarily distracted from all the work he has to do as he starts talking to the camera and introducing himself. I can’t help but laugh, thinking about all the comments I’m going to get about how funny my dad is.
After a minute, my mom walks up and slaps him on the butt.
“There’s no time for funny business right now.
Get back to work.” She smiles at the camera and waves.
Just as she’s about to strike a pose, someone from the crystal meditation tent sprints over in a panic because the rose quartz has been mixed with the smoky quartz, which apparently “messes with the vibrational frequencies.” Mom sighs, muttering something about how the only frequency she wants is coffee.
I walk around and introduce a lot of the other people in the commune, giving little bits of background about each of them.
When the festival finally starts, I stand by the gate and film all the people who were lined up to come in when the gates opened.
Some of them wave at the camera and smile excitedly as they’re ushered into the heart of the commune.
The central hub is now decorated with celestial charms that make it look like we worship the sun year-round.
An artisan market is set up with just about every person from the commune running some kind of stall to show off their role in the community.
Live music is being played from a stage, showcasing a whole lineup of bands from both the commune and the surrounding area.
People are gathered around and clapping their hands as they sway their hips to the gentle rock music.
The festival is absolutely bustling. My parents are still running around with their clipboards and helping to direct all the festival workers on what they’re supposed to be doing.
Despite the stressed looks on their faces, I know that they live for this.
They’ve been high-priority volunteers before, and they love the fast-paced environment.
Unfortunately for me, it’s almost impossible to get a moment with them to interview.
Instead, I focus on B-roll shots of the festival itself.
I walk around with my camera in hand and film the various artisan booths, some of the performances, and I even go on one of the sunshine hikes through the woods.
I feel like I’m on autopilot for the most part. But even though I’m trying to focus on filming alone, Travis still creeps his way into my mind.
I get caught up wondering if he would like this or if he would hate everything about it.
Part of me thinks he’d like it because everything is homemade and organic, things I’m sure he loves because it wouldn’t throw his precious body out of whack.
But then again, it’s loud and crowded, and a lot of the people here are just being performative sun children, only here for their Instagram feeds.
I’m filming the entrance from afar, trying to show just how vast the crowd this year really is. I zoom in on it and freeze as Travis’s face pops up. I lower the camera and squint to look out at the market, but I can’t see any clearer.
I must be dreaming. There’s no way in hell Travis, of all people, is here.
I lift the camera up again and zoom in, shifting the lens around slightly to try to get a closer look at whoever I thought was Travis. I just know that I can figure out who they really are and rule out the possibility of him being here altogether.
But as I do, the camera lens lands on a face I know without a shadow of a doubt is his. Travis is here. My heart skips a beat in my chest, and I feel like I’m not breathing. I don’t know why he’s here, but I know what I want him to be here for.
He’s searching the crowd for something, and I keep the camera on him the entire time. Eventually his eyes land on me, and he pushes through the crowd, getting closer with each step. I zoom the camera out and watch until he’s close enough that I can see him perfectly clear without the optical zoom.
Up close, I can see how exhausted he is. His eyes are heavy with bags under them, like he hasn’t slept in a while. His hair is normally perfectly put together, but it’s unkempt and disheveled today. He barely even looks like himself.
“You’re here” is all I manage to say when he’s standing right in front of me.
“I drove all night to get here in time,” Travis says. He seems more alert than he did before. His eyes widen, and the exhausted look on his face is replaced by what I might interpret as peace.
“I don’t understand. Why come all this way after everything?” I bite my lip while I wait for his answer. I drop the camcorder and stare at him, saying a silent prayer in my mind that this is what I think it is.
“Because I love you, Sage.”
My breath hitches in my throat, and he takes a step forward to put his hands on my arms.
“I started thinking about losing you, all the things that we could be doing together that we weren’t. The idea of living my life without you by my side is unbearable. I would rather not live at all.”
I’m far enough away from the crowd that no one can hear us. I look over his shoulder, nervously double-checking that we’re alone before continuing anything else. There’s a lot between us that nobody else can know about, and I have to be completely certain.
“What about Nicole?” I clench my fist beside me, digging my fingernails into the palm of my hand as I wait for his answer. This is the make-or-break moment for me. I can’t be with someone who will hurt innocent people.
“I didn’t hurt her. I let her go.” He takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his hair. “It’s going to be difficult to change, but I’m willing to try. I’ll only kill from an approved list, if that makes you happy. No more targeting people without your permission.”
“Really?” I can’t help the smile that grows on my face. This is all I wanted when I found out who he really is. Knowing that he’s going to give up this part of his life and let me in is a gesture from him that I can hardly comprehend. “You would do that for me?”
“Sage, I would do anything for you,” he replies with a genuine smile on his face. “I love you.”
“I love you so much.” I don’t waste another moment not kissing him. I toss my arms around his neck and pull him down and press my lips against his. His tongue slides in my mouth, and I grab hold of his shirt and crumple it in my fist.
It’s been too long since he was beside me, and I don’t want this moment to end.
“Oh!” someone says beside us. We both pull away, my arms still wrapped around his neck, to see my mom standing beside us with her hands clutched to her heart. “Travis, you’re here.”
My dad walks up behind her with his face still turned toward his clipboard, only looking up briefly. He does a double take when he sees me embracing a man, and the clipboard drops to his side.
“Travis, I know you met on FaceTime, but now, officially, these are my parents. Guys, this is Travis,” I say, finally backing away from him and nervously letting my parents step closer.
My mom looks between us and immediately pulls Travis in for a hug.
His entire body goes rigid, and he slowly moves his arm around her to reciprocate.
I can’t help but laugh, seeing how robotic he looks.
Getting him to hug me was already difficult enough.
Hugging my mom, who is a stranger to him, must be torture.
They start peppering him with questions, completely ignoring all their festival responsibilities. I see how anxious Travis is and step between them.
“If you guys don’t get back out there, a nonsanctioned orgy is bound to break out,” I jokingly warn.
My father immediately grabs the clipboard and waves goodbye before running off toward the artisan market.
“Won’t you stay till the end of the festival?” Mom asks Travis with a pleading look on her face. “It would mean so much to us.”
Travis looks back at me, and I raise my eyebrows to mimic a sad puppy dog, hoping he’ll say yes. Not only is it important to my parents, but I also want him to see this part of me.
“I’d be happy to.” He smiles and wraps an arm around my shoulders.
Mom runs off to finish doing everything she needs to do, and I grab Travis’s hand to lead him through the festival. I’ve gotten enough B-roll footage that I don’t have to worry about it as much. I just need to make sure I film some of the solstice offering ceremony tonight.
I show Travis around the commune, telling him all kinds of stories about growing up here. Even though he’s tired, and I’m sure this is well out of his comfort zone, he listens with a smile on his face. He hardly ever lets go of my hand the entire time.
As we’re walking, Steve sees me again and waves us over.
“Okay, this is Steve. He and I used to date.”
Travis clenches his jaw as Steve introduces himself to us.
“Sage, you’ve got to come by the cabin while you’re still here. You and I really need to catch up,” Steve urges, completely disregarding the fact that I’m holding another man’s hand in front of him.
“I don’t know if we’ll be here that long,” Travis says as he pulls me closer to him.
Steve looks us up and down and nods, seemingly understanding what’s happening. “Well, the offer always stands for you, Sage.” He bounds off after a few moments, and I turn to Travis with an awkward laugh.
“Any chance he could be put on the list?” he asks, and I shake my head.
“He might be a douchebag, but that’s hardly criminal.” I laugh, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him again. Travis doesn’t smile, and I quickly realize he wasn’t joking, but that’s something we’re going to work on.
Steve resurfaces later near the fire with what looks like a homemade pan flute and starts playing a tragically off-key rendition of something that might be “Careless Whisper.” Travis narrows his eyes and mutters, “He’s definitely top five on the list.”
We walk around for the rest of the day, and when the sun begins to set, we head to the beach, where I film the beginning of the offering ceremony as the large wicker effigy is lit on fire. Travis wraps his arms around me and holds me close as we watch it burn together.
It isn’t the first time the two of us have watched flames devour something, and I know it’s not going to be the last. But right now we can stand together and watch this, knowing everything that’s happened between us, and look forward to the future.